I could never forget you Tim. I remember that wild curly hair that you could not keep out of your eyes and the quick intelligence that always made me proud of being your friend. I remember so clearly when we first met, you were being pursued by (Slide Step) and I lusted after you each time I saw you. Then we went to MTU and fell in love. You are the only man I have ever loved and that is OK with me.
A lot has happened in my life since I escaped on March 3rd, 1979. They gave me 10 to 20 for that escape and burglary and stacked it on top of the 10 to 20 I was already serving. In 1983 I got caught with a knife and they added another 2 to 5 year sentence.
I did get paroled in August 2000; I was out until September 12, 2001. I'm now back on a parole violation because I stopped reporting to my agent; dumb move on my part. I'm on my second 12-month flop. I've been on the street for one year since 1975. I'm not complaining just counting the years. My own actions are the cause of my prison stay.
I have not been involved with a man in over ten years; when I went home in 2000 I met a lady and I have a beautiful relationship with her. For the first time since I left your side, I found someone who truly loves me. I hope that you can some day meet her. She knows nothing about my sexual past, though I will tell her. But that's OK, because she would not question my friendship with you and nothing in this world could change the fact that you are one of the very few people on this earth I have ever truly loved or trusted.
You have a beautiful family, I can see the love and warmth in your faces; I am glad that your life turned out well and that you never returned to this madness. But I never doubted you would. I knew that you were better than all those people around us, including myself. And I'm so glad I didn't take you with me on that stupid escape.
As crazy as it may seem, I mentioned you to someone about a month ago. An old friend and I were walking the yard and talking about years past (He has been down 25). Well the subject got around to "the finest motherfuckers we ever met," (smile). I went on to describe a tall slim kid with a mass of curly hair, long legs, a plump butt and the sweetest lips God ever made for kissing.
My mind keeps flashing back to the time we spent together. I remember being in the field house with a hundred people around us. I looked across the room into your eyes and we both just smiled because the love was so strong.
I remember so clearly the first time we made love, we were under my bed and we used shampoo (smile). We both had dry skin for a week. I can remember sitting and talking for hours, and how difficult it was for you at first to have people know that you were gay, but after awhile you realized that only you can live your life.
Life was not a party then. I can remember us going after a guy with a padlock because he would not leave us alone. But our bond just grew stronger and stronger. I have never stopped loving you and I never will; our lives are different now and we both have other people in our lives, but we can still be dear friends and hopefully become a part of each other's lives.
I must have read your letter 20 times by now; it is so great to hear from you. I have wondered over the years what had become of you. I see people all the time who have been home 4 or 5 times and some that have been here as long as I have.
Tim you are always going to be a part of my life, thoughts of our beautiful relationship have carried me through many lonely and depressing years. I almost died the day after Thanksgiving; I had a series of heart attacks that lasted 12 hours. I didn't even realize I was having heart attacks until the pain became so intense I couldn't draw a breath. They rushed me to the hospital in Newberry, Michigan (I was at a medium security prison there).
From there I came by ambulance to Marquette General, it was not until the sixth that I was stable enough for by-pass, but I am doing much better now, except I am sore as hell (smile). I will be in the hospital ward here in Marquette for a few more weeks then probably go back to Newberry.
I will have a Parole Board interview in about June of next year, I am pretty sure they will let me out, I will parole to my lady friend, from there I really have no plans.
To tell you the truth Tim, the thought of going back to the free world scares me. I'm not sure I can make it as a free man. I know that sounds crazy, but prison is all I know. I have been locked up since I was ten years old and the world out there is not normal to me. I have common sense and can learn anything but it is kind of late in the game to start from scratch and have anything for old age. If I had gotten out ten years ago, I would have stood a better chance. But I will get out and give it my best shot, I won't ever do
