Four weeks after Mom died, the first app I launched hit number one in all the online stores and stayed there for months. Each subsequent release outperformed the previous one. All the fears I’d kept locked deep inside about whether I’d be able to support Juliana evaporated with every dollar that filled my bank account. As a family, we’d struggled financially since the day my dad walked out and left us without a second thought. Having complete financial freedom out of the blue opened so many doors I never even knew existed.
Yes, my success was sweet. But it was also bittersweet. What if I’d introduced the apps and hit multi-millionaire status earlier? Could I have saved Mom? Were there procedures they could’ve performed if we’d had the money to pay for them?
Those questions haunted me when I tried to fall asleep at night. Mom’s assertion of it already being too late returned to me, but my doubts and feeling of failure overruled them. I vowed to shield and protect my sister because she was the only family I had left.
If anything happened to her, I’d never forgive myself for letting both Mom and Juliana down.
CHAPTER TWO
Rod
Present Day
“Rod, I need to talk to you.”
The hesitancy in her voice grabs my attention immediately. I look up from checking emails on my laptop and give her my undivided attention.
“Of course, little bird. Have a seat.” I close the lid of my computer. Nothing in there is as important as the people in this house.
She sits on the corner of the bed, gnawing on her thumbnail, but she can’t quite make direct eye contact with me.
“Juliana, what’s on your mind? Talk to me.”
She releases a long breath before raising her eyes to mine. “Gosh, this is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I don’t know if I can say the words.”
“You are kind of freaking me out, Jules. Just blurt it out and get it over with before the suspense kills us both.”
Her features soften. “For the record, I wasn’t planning to have this conversation with you until after the holidays. But after the way the trip down here wiped me out when all I had to do was sit on a plane, I don’t think it can wait any longer.
“Rod, I’ve made out my will and talked to my lawyer at length about my decision. We both agree it is time to plan for the worst-case scenario. The only present I want this Christmas is for you to sign the custody papers to become Isa’s legal guardian—permanently and immediately. Not the short-term, power of attorney agreement we signed when I was in the hospital before. If I beat this disease, I’ll gladly take her back. There’s so much uncertainty in my life right now, but I can’t let her future be left to chance. I need to know she’ll be taken care of every day, so I don’t have to worry about that aspect of her life when I become worse.”
I’ve already had my mental breakdown for the decade, and in front of Daisy, no less. That’s the only one I’m allowed. My little sister needs me more than she ever has. Even more than when our mom died, because she has a child to think about and she has always put Isa first. The déjà vu is about to break me, I can’t lie. But for Juliana, I’ll lock that ghost away in its own compartment and deal with it later.
“You know there’s nothing I won’t do for you, or for Isa, for that matter. Before I sign them, I need my Christmas present from you.”
“What’s that?” She wipes the tears from her cheek, but it’s pointless. They’re instantly replaced by more.
“Promise you won’t quit fighting, no matter how hard it gets. No matter how badly you just want to close your eyes and sleep forever. You’ve kept me going all these years. I can’t lose you now.”
She nods. “I promise.”
I move to sit beside her and wrap my arms around her. She leans into my embrace and loses all composure. Once her tears begin to fall, she can’t stop them from flowing freely and unchecked over her face. My baby sister is hurting inside, and I can’t fix it.
I can’t fix her.
As hard as I try, I can’t imagine the magnitude of fear gripping her. She’s not only facing her own death but also leaving her daughter long before she should even have to think about it. While the thought of losing her fills me with a sense of dread I can’t explain, my fears are a distant second to hers. My heart is obliterated now, from her words, from her request, and from the fact I can’t do shit to stop this devastating disease. My tissue doesn’t match hers. If it did, I’d give her all I have if it meant saving her life.
The only bright spot in this darkness is seeing first-hand my mom was right all along. All the money I have now can’t save my sister. If I’d had it when Mom was still with us, there’s no guarantee they could’ve done anything to save her. But the what-ifs and doubts still creep into my thoughts, keeping the uncertainties alive and well in my mind. Throughout all these years since Mom died, I’ve carried a guilty conscience because I couldn’t save her. Though I worked all night, success remained just out of my reach.
If I lose Juliana too…
I can’t allow myself to drift to that dark place.
She lifts her head and dries her eyes. “That’s enough blubbering for one day. We have to focus on the other pressing problem at hand.”
“What other problem are you referring to?”
“You. How are you planning to fix this mess with Daisy?” She holds my gaze and arches her brow. The strong-willed Jules is back.
“Little bird, I don’t think that’s where my attention should be right now. It seems I have
