“Why is that?”
“The light that is with them is only temporary. It is the accumulation of virtue that is left with the spirit, like a residue that clings to the soul after death. However, it fades more quickly with some than others depending on what lies in their heart. When we go to them, we can never be certain how long it will last. Add to that the fact that many people are in a state of shock and disbelief when they realize they are no longer in the living world. It can be hard to convince people that have just died to follow a stranger. If there is someone among the watchers who knows them, they are the ones who go to collect them, it is easier that way.”
“Was there no one here who knew me?”
“The people you knew that passed are elsewhere.”
He doesn’t clarify just which elsewhere the people I knew went to and I don’t ask. It is one of the few times in my life there is something I don’t want to know.
“So, was there adequate light residue, or whatever you called it, left on me?”
He chuckles lightly. “Fishing for a compliment about your virtue?”
I roll my eyes and wish I could punch him. “Obviously, if I was more concerned about virtuousness then I would be with my parents and not here.”
He looks at me thoughtfully as if he can read every word of my life’s story, and maybe he can. As I look at him, his presence is so familiar, comforting and a little infuriating all at the same time.
“That is not how it works you know; your parents did not get to go with the Son because of their goodness. They got to go with him because they chose him. But you were spared from the darkness because of your goodness. You are somewhere in between, in purgatory; to borrow a term from a nearly forgotten religion. You are here because of the father’s perpetual mercy and love for us. It is because of that we have not been thrown to the darkness, but rather been given another chance to choose him. Nevertheless, the dangers in this world are uniquely devastating. We must always guard our thoughts and actions, as well as watch the keepers of the light in order to stay safe from torment. You are a bit of an anomaly. The night you left the living the son bestowed upon you a gift, he comforted you with his spirit. For this reason, your light would not have run out, though I did not know the circumstances at the time.”
We arrive at the church and follow Kirra and her dad inside, as I add to the ever-growing file of information in my head now classified as Life in Purgatory. I look around the church. It is a beautiful building that, according to Kirra, is over three hundred years old. It can hold maybe hundred and fifty people in it. It is the last church left in our town. The others couldn’t afford to keep the doors open due to some tax reforms instituted about twelve years ago. At one time churches had a tax-free status, but now the government taxes all donations. They have also imposed a federal property tax on all structures of worship. Within five years of the tax restructuring, most churches were forced to close their doors. Not long after, vandals took over and now most of the former churches, synagogues and mosques are unrecognizable. Most people just gather together privately, in small groups and have services at each other’s homes. I was a little girl when all of that happened, but I remember my teacher telling me that she hoped everyone’s parents voted for the new tax laws. If not, the government would be forced to make major spending cuts. The Bureau of Education was expected to be hit the hardest. I remember her saying in her sweet kindergarten teacher voice “Wouldn’t it be sad if some schools had to shut down because there wasn’t enough money. Education is the most important thing. We need to do whatever we have to, in order to keep our country’s education system strong. All children deserve an equal opportunity to receive an education.”
I went home very motivated to make sure my parents were going to vote for the tax laws. At dinner that night I told them what my favorite teacher had said. It was the first time I remember seeing my dad lose his temper. His face got red, and he said, “what a load of crap, I’m going to call that teacher tomorrow and tell her to keep her political opinions to herself." I was horrified! I loved Mrs. Dotti, she was always nice to me and I didn’t want my dad to be upset with her. I started to cry, my dad fell silent, and my mom said “Don’t be upset honey, we know you like Mrs. Dotti and she is a very nice lady. Sometimes grownups disagree about things and that’s okay. Daddy and I feel very strongly that the government should not be taking money from churches. But we still like Mrs. Dotti. We think she is a very nice lady who is just mistaken. I promise you there is no need for you to be upset. You just leave all this stuff to the grownups and don’t worry yourself a bit.”
~~~
I move around Kirra’s church and I can feel the warm energy. It radiates even with Kirra weeping in a pew. The room is comforting and has an almost golden atmosphere. Lucius is kneeling at the altar praying and I walk up and sit in the pew behind him. I look to him and over to Kirra and I wonder how I could have missed it. All this time, I
