“Haven, you don’t have to come along for this one. I can get him, why don’t you just wait here with Mrs. Andrews.”
We are standing on the precipice of darkness, there is no light keeper any closer between us, and the soul that I can only assume is Mr. Malone.
“I would be lying if I said that I wanted risk ourselves to save Mr. Malone…but there is no way I am letting you go alone.”
“Haven, this mission is one of high risk. I need your head in the game. You know it is unsafe to move through the darkness. We will need to move with the utmost expedience.”
I take one last look at Mrs. Andrews then back into the darkness.
“I’m ready Lucius, I can do this.”
He nods his head slightly, and we are off sprinting into the woods. It is eerily still, and I can feel the weight of the darkness closing in around us. We both know there is no way we will make it all the way to the Mr. Malone’s trailer, then I, see a dim light fifty yards to our right.
“To the right Lucius.”
He looks over and veers right, we are there and safe from the darkness in an instant. But the scene before us is so staggering, that I almost run back into the darkness to get away from it. We are at the fort that Fin and I, built. Mr. Malone’s dead body is sitting slightly slumped over. There is a pen in his hand and a notepad in his lap. To his right is a slightly tattered envelope, with a note written on it. I immediately recognize Fin’s, handwriting and read the note. Though it doesn’t say much, it is clear Fin is trying to forgive his Father. Mr. Malone’s very confused spirit is staring at me in awe, I can’t help the rage the flows out of me.
“You don’t deserve this, you know. The darkness should have taken you.”
“Careful Haven, it is not for you to judge. He was given light, though not much, so we must move quickly.”
I begrudgingly accept this truth. Mr. Malone takes in Lucius,’ directive with surprising calm, before he turns to me.
“I know, I don’t deserve any help from you, but thank you.”
“Save your thanks, we’re not safe yet.”
We all move towards the entrance to the fort. Once outside we go towards Mrs. Andrews light which is walking slowly in the direction of her house. About two seconds in, I realize I really want to read Mr. Malone’s reply to Fin’s note. I feel certain, he won’t tell me what pathetic excuse he could have for all the years of abuse he heaped on Fin. Without thinking I turn back towards the fort. Lucius notices a split second too late, to stop me. Once inside the fort, I look over Mr. Malone’s dead body and read Dear Fin, just before the darkness envelops me.
It is a strange hollow feeling filled with grief and regret. It is not painful like what I felt that day in the church. But the absence of all light is both weightless and crushing at the same time. There is nothing here but the memories of all the wrongs I have done, that replay in my mind like mournful drama. I feel every sour word I have spoken and the impact I never knew it caused. Not with a physical pain, but like a pin prick to my soul. I can see things that have not happened yet, and things that happened long ago, all as a result of my, self-centered thoughtless actions and words. I see Lucius, desperate and crying out when he realizes, I am lost to the darkness. I see Violet as a girl in her room crying because of something snide I said to her, when we got into an argument in junior high. There are so many pin pricks that I wonder if there will be anything left of my soul.
I realize now the mercy that the light brings us, is ignorance to so much of the havoc we wreak. It is like a warm, beautiful blanket that shields us from seeing just how cold and ugly we are.
Chapter Sixteen Lucius
I drop off Mr. Malone with the other watchers, then head to the boarder of the light, unable to take the questions about what happened to, Haven. I leave it to Mr. Malone to explain. I fall to my knees surrounded by light looking out over the darkness and beg.
“Please father I cannot bear to lose another. Please send her back or make it your will that I can go find her. “
I can hear the soft murmur of his voice answering me.
“It is not safe my son, you would be risking yourself.”
“I, accept that risk, I will gladly take it, if only I have your consent.”
I feel the strange sensation of tears running down my face. I know it cannot be, but if I did not know it was impossible for a soul to shed tears, I would swear I was sobbing.
“Please father I beg of you, grant me permission to try.”
“So Be It”
I am stunned, motionless for a second, then bolt to my feet. I whip around, intent on telling the other watchers my plan, to go find Haven. Instead, I find Michael standing before me. The massive hulking angel glows like gold set aflame. He holds up his massive hand as if to stop me, but I am already stopped. He puts his hand over my heart.
“He is well pleased with you.”
I feel energy course through me and a feeling that has been gone so
