He presses his hips into my stomach, showing me just how bad he wants it, and I once again try to shake my head. I believe him, each word he utters, I know without a doubt is the complete truth, and it scares the shit out of me.
His tongue slips along the shell of my ear and I shiver, not from lust but from terror. I can't move my limbs and I am transported back to another time when another man held me against my will. I can suddenly smell the stench of bourbon, feel the scratch of a beard, and the large swell of a cock pressing into me.
I’m no longer on the boat with Neil, I now have book spines digging into my back, my head throbbing from the impact of the wooden shelf, and my nails finding purchase in the soft flesh of my palms.
"Are you a virgin, Ivy?" His voice attacks my ears and I feel the tears slip down my cheeks. No, not this again. I can't live this again.
I begin to shake, fear so thick, it pushes itself through me at a rapid speed, and I go limp at the feeling. My heart pumps faster and louder, drowning out any other words, and my throat begins to close around my breath.
No, this is not happening, this is not happening. I repeat in my head just as the hand leaves my mouth and the warmth I thought I wanted steps away. Someone is speaking but two worlds have collided inside my head and I can't determine one from the other.
I sink to the floor, wrapping my arms around my legs, and begin to rock. I need to forget and I need to be alone. Cold air swirls around me and I exhale the breath I've been holding, relief coursing through me.
I don't know how long I'm left here, but at some point I feel Carmelo as his arms encircle me and lift me off the ground.
"It's okay, Ivy." He whispers. "I got you."
I watch as her cousin picks her up and carries her off the boat, but not before he throws me a menacing look. No matter how hard I try, I can't stop the guilt from eating away at me, and I know I caused her to break down with my words and actions.
Something bad happened to Ivy and I want to know what the fuck it was. She's clearly battling with trauma and my curiosity won't let it go. The Ivy I knew before two years ago wasn't like this, she was tough, and she wouldn’t have folded like that.
If I knew this about her, would I have still done the same? Yeah, I would've. I can't help the rage and want that envelops me every time she's near and no matter how hard the two emotions battle it out, I'm fearful of which one will win the war.
"What's wrong with Ivy?" Amelia's frantic words hit me before she grabs my arm.
"I don't know, but I'm going to find out."
"Neil," she whispers, "did you do something?"
I look down at my sister and she looks up at me with tears in her eyes.
"I don't think it has anything to do with Whitsborough." I tell her.
Ivy left here two years ago completely herself and without remorse for her actions, I can still see her holding her chin high as I watched her get in a limo that would take her to New York. This girl now, is traumatized, and only when she can't control the strong front she puts up.
"I'm gonna need you to get me some information." I tell Amelia as I watch Ivy being swept away by Carmelo and Cameron.
"No." She shakes her head emphatically. "I won't help you bring her down."
"Amelia, I'm not bringing anyone down." I lie through my fucking teeth. "I need to know what happened."
She stares into my face a while longer and finally nods, "fine, I'll ask Cam."
"You like this kid?" I curl my fingers into fists. The thought of my little sister once again in the clutches of that family makes me angry.
"No." She laughs and pats me on the back. "It's not like that."
"Better not be." I growl and look around.
People are gathered into small groups and the tone has become hushed. It's not everyday you see a Greene weak in this town.
I follow Amelia towards the first boat and pass a group of girls I vaguely remember from the days Charlotte and I would come here.
"The bitch has issues."
"Veronica, she looked legit sick." Another replies.
"That whole family is fucked up," Veronica snarls. "They have mountains of secrets and my nana says only money is keeping them hidden."
Well then.
My room is pitch black save for the illumination of my phone's screen. I'm under two thick blankets and I still can't chase the cold that feels bone deep.
By the time Carmelo got me home, I had finally come around and declined his offer to bring me inside. I could just imagine the fuss my dad would make. Thankfully, they were all asleep and the house was quiet when I came in.
I’m staring at these messages, trying to decipher what they mean, and praying he’s just drunk and confused. On the nights he opens the bourbon, he tends to become paranoid, and a bit abrasive. What is a Black Slaughter? And what’s her list?
I hear the creak of my bedroom door and look to see Dahlia’s little head poke in.
“Ivy?” Her little whisper floats into the room.
“Yeah, Flower?”
“Can I sleep with you?” Her little lip quivers as she hurries further into the room. “I had a nightmare.”
“Sure, baby.” I pull back my covers and watch as she launches her little body up onto the bed.
“I was afraid you left again.” She curls into my side and I nestle my face into her little brown curls.
“That was your nightmare?” I ask her
