The second the guys enter the kitchen, it’s apparent that everything is not fine. Channing looks as pale as Sasha and refuses to meet her eyes.
Bexley, on the other hand, stares brazenly at me, willing me to look at him.
I don’t.
Instead, I walk straight over to Cade and burrow into his side. “How did it go?”
“Like every other meeting with Q,” he says coolly, dropping a kiss on my head. “Although Channing has some news.”
A ripple goes through the room, and Channing rakes a hand through his hair. He inhales a long breath and then exhales a long sigh. “Q thinks it’s better for me to stay Electi. Since Bexley and Alex are both so new to our ways, Phillip wants me around. My Eligere will be next summer.” His defeated gaze finally flicks to Sasha, who has tears brimming in her eyes.
“That’s… great,” she chokes out. “Excuse me, I need to take a shower.” Sasha all but runs from the kitchen.
“What’s her problem?” Brandon scoffs.
“Dude,” Ashton says. “You know she has a crush on Channing.”
“Nah, she’s over that shit, right, Chan?”
“Fuck if I know.” He folds his arms over his chest and shrugs. His face is a stone mask. Cold and impenetrable. Our eyes lock, and I narrow mine, but he gives nothing away.
“It doesn’t matter,” Cade snaps. “She knows the rules. She’d be a fucking idiot to break them.” The verbal warning is for Sasha, but Cade stares down Channing and I get the feeling he knows something. Which wouldn’t surprise me; Cade seems to know everything.
“I should go and check on her,” I say, untangling myself from Cade’s arm. But he tightens his grip and bends down, kissing me hard.
I inhale a shuddering breath that could be mistaken for lust.
It isn’t.
“Tell her we’re having a pool party. Nothing crazy. But I expect both of you to be there.”
“Okay.” I smile. “We’ll be there.” As I turn to walk away, Cade slaps my ass, making me yelp. Male laughter rings out behind me, but I don’t rise to it, keeping my head held high as I walk from the kitchen, past Brandon and Alex… and Bexley.
His jaw clenches as he watches me, tracking my every move.
“Mia.” My name forms silently on his lips, but I don’t respond.
I can’t.
No matter how much the tether between us pulls taut.
The second I’m clear of the kitchen, I release a shaky breath and hurry to Sasha’s room. My heart aches for her as I step inside and find her sobbing into her pillow.
“I should have known,” she said. “I should have known it was all a lie.”
“I’m so sorry.” I join her on the bed, running my hand down her arm. “For what it’s worth, he looked as devastated as you.”
“It doesn’t matter. I get it now. We’re never going to be free from this life… I was fooling myself into believing it could be different. That me and Channing could—” An ugly sob tears from her lungs, and she buries her face in me.
“Shh, babe. It’ll be okay.”
“It hurts,” she cries. “It hurts so much, Mia.”
“I wish I could make it better.”
“You can…” Her head whips up, her face a red puffy mess. “My tin—”
“Sasha, I’m not sure that’s a good idea. There’s a pool party. Cade wants us there.”
“I can’t go, not like this. I need something to take off the edge.”
“Fine.” I get up and go to her nightstand.
“The top drawer,” she instructs, and I pull it open. The tin is buried under a magazine.
“I thought Channing took your stash.”
“I always have an emergency supply hidden. I don’t get high because I like it, Mia. I get high because sometimes it’s the only way I can—” Her body trembles as she smothers another shudder.
I understand now.
Sasha has lived this life for years. Part of the Electi’s inner circle but not truly one of them. She won’t ever be free to choose who she loves or who she marries.
Her life is not her own.
I’ve been a part of this fuckery for mere weeks. Sasha has been part of it her entire life. It isn’t any wonder she self-medicates.
I watch as she takes the tin from me and flips the lid, revealing small baggies of various pills. “I hate them,” she says, so defeated I can feel her despair. She pops two pills on her tongue and doesn’t even bother washing them down with water.
“Sometimes,” she whispers as she lies back on the bed, “I think death would be better than this life. But I’m not brave enough to do it.”
Her words hit me like a wrecking ball. I share her despair, share the soul-crushing pain that bleeds from her right now, but never once have I contemplated death.
I want to fight. I want to find a way out of this mess.
But what if she’s right…
What if there is no way out?
What then?
11
Bexley
I watch Mia leave the kitchen and then glance at Channing. He looks like he's thirty seconds away from losing his shit.
"Come on, man. Let's hit the gym," I say, slamming my hand down on his shoulder and pushing him forward.
His body is rigid as he stares at Cade, the muscle in his neck pulsating.
"What?" Cade asks innocently, which we all know is fucking bullshit. Something tells me that Cade fucking Kingsley was born corrupt, and it's only gotten worse with every day that has passed. "If you're really lucky, you'll get a girl as hot as Mia as your prosapia.”
I fight the urge not to react to his words, but with every barb he shoots my way, the harder it gets.
"Let's go." I push Channing forward, turning my back on Cade and his bullshit.
"The girls will be here in an hour, and they'll expect to be entertained,” he calls after us.
"I'm sure you're more than capable, Kingsley," I shoot over my shoulder before heading toward the stairs to
