“Too early to tell the sex yet,” Dr. Bob murmured. “Looks like you’re right around three and half…maybe four months along.”
Four months. She’d met, fallen in love with and gotten pregnant by a guy in four months. I’d had over twenty years with her and look at us.
I was an idiot. All of this was my fault. I pushed her and goaded her and fought with her. It had been a game to me.
A game I’d just lost.
Dr. Bob helped Willow clean up, and I wandered back to the window, looking out over the mountain view and feeling sorry for myself. When he was finished, I followed him out into the hallway so Willow could get dressed.
“Hey, Doc?”
He stopped and turned to face me, an eyebrow raised as I handed him my business card.
“I’d like all of Ms. Tate’s medical bills sent directly to my office, please.”
“You’re not the father?”
“No, but I’m her employer…her friend. And my firm will be taking care of all of her medical expenses.”
He nodded, smiling softly. “You’re a good friend.”
“Not good enough,” I muttered as I walked out into the waiting room.
I sat in one of the chairs, my elbows on my knees and my head in my hands. I had no idea what the father’s financial situation was, but it didn’t matter. It wasn’t about the money. It was about taking care of Willow in the only way I could now.
Maybe, one day, I could be Uncle Jamie. Poor, lonely, drunk Uncle Jamie.
Willow came out a few minutes later, made her next appointment with the clerk, then silently followed me out to my car.
“Do you want me to take you home?” I asked her when the oppressive silence became too much to bear any longer.
“My car is at the office,” she said.
“Right.”
“Thank you,” she said, reaching over and putting her hand on my forearm. “For coming with me today.”
“Of course,” I insisted. “You shouldn’t have been there alone.”
She blew out a sigh, and I saw her turn to stare out the window from my peripheral. She seemed so sad. Shouldn’t she be happy? She had everything in the world she wanted now. Everything I’d never given her…had never offered to give her.
But as I thought about it, I hadn’t seen her smile in the little over a week she’d been at the firm. I didn’t think she even realized I’d been watching. Okay, lurking. I’d been avoiding her, but I couldn’t help checking up on her. I loved her. And if she was happy, then I’d let her be happy.
This…this wasn’t happy. Damn that guy for not being there. And damn me for not being that guy.
Chapter Five
~ Willow I’m-Such-A-Liar Tate ~
The guilt ate at me like little drips of acid. I wasn’t happy; Jameson wasn’t happy. But I saw no way out of this thing I’d created. And the man was blind as a rock.
I mean, I’d told him the truth. I loved the father of my baby. Dr. Bob had told us how far along I was. It didn’t take much more than a memory and basic math to figure out when I’d gotten knocked up.
Jameson just didn’t want to see it.
For the past two days since the appointment, he’d been eyeing me like I was a one-of-a-kind toy, the thing he’d always wanted, always intended to claim, but now belonged to someone else. I wanted to yell at him to wake up, but I refused to have an “I’m doing the right thing” husband. I knew he’d insist on marrying me. All the Malloys were honorable, even the asshole.
I really wished I had someone to talk to about this, but I had no siblings, my mom was gone, and two of my besties were married to Malloys. I could call Penny or Phoebe I guessed. Tapping my fingers I considered which sister to phone. Phoebe was traveling; Penny would be done with teaching for the day. She was the perfect choice anyway, since she kinda knew about my situation.
Since it was past five, I didn’t feel bad calling from my office. I closed my door and dialed up Pen.
“Hey, girl, hey!” she answered, bringing a smile to my lips.
“Hey, how’s it going?”
“Mmm…fine? What’s wrong?”
I sighed heavily. I didn’t call her only when I had problems, but she always knew when it was the case. We’d been roomies in college, and she was the closest I had to a sister.
“My life is a dumpster fire,” I groaned. “And one lie after another is just making it worse. Guess I should get used to it. I’m totally going to hell.”
“You are not,” she replied, not buying into my dramatics. “Tell me what you did and why the lies. I’m guessing you haven’t told Hot Brother Number Five that he’s going to be a daddy before all his older brothers.”
“Ding ding ding! Give the girl a prize,” I deadpanned.
“What happened?”
“I told him the truth, and he took it the wrong way. I mean…I wasn’t specific. I didn’t say, ‘Hey you’re the dad. Surprise!’ But the dingbat should be able to figure things out. I mean he was a frigging Math major in college. He just doesn’t want to see because then he’d have to do something. And he definitely doesn’t want to do something because he doesn’t love me.”
“And…you want him to do something?”
“No! Not if he doesn’t love me.”
“You’re making me dizzy, friend. Look, I know what you grew up with, and it sounds horrible. Still, I know the Malloys and I know Jameson, just like you do—well, not exactly like you do. The thing is, he’s not like your father. If you told him that he was going to be a dad, he’d be all in. One hundred percent invested.”
“I know.”
“And doesn’t he deserve to know?”
“Yeah,” I sighed.
“And…”
“God, I can tell you’re used to dealing with junior high kids.”
“And annoying besties. So…”
“I know I have to tell him the baby is his, and I know he will be the best
