Since spring was finally breaking, I continued to take advantage of riding my bike. We could always have a random winter storm trying to have one last hurrah. I hated that shit. Hell, maybe I was the one who should’ve moved to Texas.
After parking, I took off my helmet and headed inside.
“Hey, Alba,” I said with a grin to the receptionist as I leaned my arms on the counter. “Polly busy? I’m a little early.”
“I’ll check for you, handsome,” Alba said with a wink. She was one of my mother’s friends, so I knew she didn’t mean anything by it. Growing up, she’d been like a second mom.
“‘Preciate it,” I replied with a grin. Lost in thought, I stared out the window.
“Luke. Come on back,” Polly said. Glancing down, I realized she was using a cane. A concerned frown furrowed my brow.
“You okay, Polly?”
“What—this?” She gestured to the cane. “Just my hip acting up. Doc says I’m gonna need a replacement—that I’ve put it off too long.”
“Anything I can do?”
“Not unless you’ve secretly discovered the fountain of youth!” she said with a laugh.
“Unfortunately, I haven’t,” I said with a laugh as I pointed at my graying beard.
We entered her office and sat. She winced and heaved a deep sigh. The rest of the members of the small committee came in. The next hour was spent going over their budget and the plans for this year’s fundraiser. It helped us set a goal.
Once everything was finalized, everyone but Polly and I left the office.
“Luke, we sure do appreciate what you boys do for this facility. Without the money you raise every year, we wouldn’t be able to do half the things we do for these kids. State funding isn’t what people think it is, and we try to keep the costs down for the families that don’t have great insurance—or no insurance. You boys not only helped this place get off the ground, you’ve been here for us every step of the way.” The kind look in her eyes made me fidget a little in my seat.
My gaze dropped to where I was absently spinning one of my rings.
“Luke,” she said softly, “what happened to Leon wasn’t your fault. You didn’t force the drugs on him. You tried to stop him, but you were essentially a kid yourself. I really do appreciate what your club does for us, but you don’t owe anyone anything.”
With a sharp inhale and a slow, shaky exhale, I tried to meet her eyes. I wasn’t a goddamn coward, but some things were difficult to accept. My brother’s death not being my fault was one of them.
“We’ll have to agree to disagree on that,” I said with a failed attempt at a smile. She was one of the only ones who knew the truth, because she’d found me that awful day. I’d broken down after my brother’s funeral. Staring at the cloudy sky, I’d been sprawled in a field between her place and ours, a pistol in my hand. How she’d seen me out there, I hadn’t a clue.
She’d convinced me to talk to her, but I’d drawn the line at counseling. Counseling was out of the question, because they’d want me to talk about what happened. I was weak. I’d break. And I refused to look weak in front of my father.
Instead, trying to outrun my ghosts, I’d joined the army, praying with each deployment I didn’t make it home. I got out after Mom told me Dad had drunk himself into an early grave. He was a verbally and mentally abusive hateful bastard anyway, but Mom had loved him. Maybe he didn’t lay a hand on us, but he still did a number on us all.
After joining the Demented Sons, I made it my goal to get the adolescent facility built. Then I’d convinced them to do annual fundraisers. For the club, it gave them a sense of legitimacy and made them look better to the community.
Back then, we’d been hypocritical as fuck, because we were one of the main suppliers to the surrounding areas. Part of the reason I’d joined the club was to try to get them to stop. When I’d moved up the ranks, I pushed and slowly cleaned up our act. Sure, we still had our fingers in a lot of shit, but I’d eradicated the sale of drugs in the chapter. It was too little, too late, but I’d laid down the law. If I could help it, no more kids would die of drug overdoses. At least not on my watch.
I stood.
“I really need to get to the shop. Anything else we need to finalize before I go?”
Sad eyes and an equally sad smile were trained on me. When she stood to show me out, she struggled, and I rushed behind the desk to help her. She sighed. “Don’t tell anyone, because I haven’t announced it yet, but this will be the last fundraiser I do.”
Taken by surprise, I cocked my head and frowned in confusion. “What are you talking about?”
“It’s time for me to retire. I’m tired. Not that I don’t enjoy my job—it’s been amazingly fulfilling. But it’s time.” She shrugged, then shooed me toward the door before putting weight on the cane.
“Well, I’m sorry that I won’t be working with you anymore after this year, but if you ever need anything, you know you can call me. Right? Oh, and try not to get a replacement that’s a pain in the ass to work with.” I chuckled.
“No assholes. Noted,” she said as she made a mock checkmark in the air.
We laughed as she walked me out into the lobby.
“If anything changes or you need anything before the event, you let me know,” I said as I slid on my shades and waved to Polly and Alba.
I stepped out into the sunshine, completely unaware that what she’d told me was
