So, I am asking you once again, Summer. Will you marry me?
And yes, think carefully before answering, cause we have a son now. And I am telling you that there will be more coming on the way.” Kazan's words startled me which was enough to bring my mind back to the reality.
But I still did not know what to answer him as I had already thought of this matter for a long time now. And I do have my own reasons not to agree with him even when I wanted to say yes to him badly, each time he asked me, before.
So, except staying quiet, I had no other choices, cause I just did not want to hurt Kazan at all.
Seeing that I was not going to answer him this time either, Kazan sprung up on the bed all of a sudden, with a long face.
“Why do you not want to marry me, Summer? Am I that bad as a mate?
Please answer me whatever you have to say whether it is good or bad, but do not stay silent. Cause your silence is really killing me, Summer.” Kazan said with a lot of frustration while the sadness in his voice made my heart sink at this moment, realising the fact that I was indeed doing injustice to Kazan. Cause I had no right to make him wait for me all his life long.
So, now or later, I needed to answer him, no matter how hard it would become for me.
Then, why not tonight?
Just when I made my mind at last, reluctantly or not, I sat up on the bed too only to face Kazan in the darkness of my room.
“It is not that I do not want to marry you, or you are bad as a mate or anything. Cause you are not. As you are the best thing that happened to me ever.
So, of course, I never want to lose you.
But it is just that I can not marry you. Not now, not ever.
And that does not mean I do not love you. Cause I do. Very much. I love you more than ever Kazan.” I said and stretched my hands to place my palms on his cheeks to make him look right into my eyes as both of our eyes became moist at this moment without much of our consciousness.
“Then, what is stopping you from marrying me? You know how badly I wanted all of you. I just want to make a perfect and happy home with you and our pups. Is that so wrong to ask for a family from the one who had already given birth to my first pup? What is it, Summer? Tell me. Why can not you marry me?” Kazan asked desperately pulling me into his chest only to hide his welled up eyes, even though he could not cover up his broken voice from me which held so much pain in them as he kept saying just beside my ears, keeping his head buried on the crook of my neck.
“It is because I am the alpha of the Lunar High pack now, and an alpha must never leave his or her pack at any cost, no matter what.
So, marrying you would make me the Luna of your pack, the Blood Bay for sure, but it will leave my pack abandoned and without an alpha to be followed by the pack members of the Lunar High. And this is what I just can never afford to do in my life.
Once I could not stay by my pack's side when mom and dad died and let all the members fall into the trap of someone evil like Benjamin, but I can not do the same once again.
You must understand my situation, Kazan. Cause, I can not expect others to understand me except you.
I can not overlook my responsibilities which I have towards my pack, for my own happiness.
And no one knows better than you that how Alphas need to think of the pack first, even before themselves. So, I am doing the same.
I have no other choice, Kazan.
Forgive me, please.
I can not marry you.” I said until my voice got muffled as I never realised since when I could not hold back my tears any more and was already crying, keeping my head on the unshakable shoulders of my mate.
Again, I started breaking into pieces in front of Kazan, as I knew very well that it was the only place where I could show how fragile I am from inside, without worrying about being judged at all.
And Kazan kept holding me tight to his chest without saying a single word against whatever I just said. As if he just wanted us to stay like this forever. Close and warm.
But I could not erase the feeling from my heart that even after being close, we still will be far from each other somehow. And this thought was making my tears welled up once again only to get flooded in the next moment, letting my cheeks get wet with all those tears which had no intention to stop.
Not tonight at least.
Or I thought son.
Cause, in the next moment, Kazan spoke up after long, breaking the menacing silence, all of a sudden,
“Trust me. I will not let anyone sacrifice anything at any cost.
Not this time, Summer.
Not this time.”
Episode 90
**** A year later ****
Summer's P.O.V
I was standing at a corner of our pack yard quietly, while each and every member of the Lunar High pack was running around here and there with so much work on their shoulders as it was indeed a busy
