“Why?” Erin crunched. Cheetos? “Did you need to talk?”
“Maybe. Lots going on in my head. It helps to have a sounding board. But this is about my investigation, so I shouldn’t talk about it, even if you are a criminal psychologist and could help me figure this out.”
“But that’s not really why you could use a sounding board.”
Her friend was too sharp. “Hey, before I forget to ask, are you going to make it to Owen’s welcome-home party this coming weekend?”
“I’ll be there. We have our memorial visit coming up too, remember?”
“I wouldn’t forget,” Terra said.
“How’s Owen been doing since he got back?”
“Better than I expected.” Except for those dark moments. “He has a new project now, but I don’t want to steal his thunder. I’ll let you hear about it at the party.”
“Any news from Alex?” Erin crunched again.
“I emailed him. He usually answers quickly, but I haven’t heard anything.”
“And that disturbs you.”
“It should disturb you too. Unless you’ve talked to him.”
“No. I definitely need to be more deliberate.”
“He’s always been overprotective, like a brother even. Especially once Owen was gone.” But then Alex left too. “So I’m worried about him.”
Erin yawned. “Maybe he fell in love and that is taking up all his extra time. Wouldn’t that be something?”
“He hasn’t mentioned anyone.”
“Honestly, Terra, I wouldn’t worry too much about it. He’ll be in touch.”
“Says the psychologist.” But Terra wouldn’t be at ease until Alex contacted her.
The three of them had been so close before. She had the feeling that time and distance were working against them. Was that just life? Or could they be more deliberate about keeping their friendship, their bond, close? She worked hard to keep what she had left of her family—Gramps and Owen—close. Together. To that end, maybe she should move back in with Gramps permanently.
“So, what else is going on?” Erin asked. “Why do you need a sounding board?”
Should she share the news? Or did she need more time to process?
“Come on, I can tell something’s eating at you. Something beyond an investigation. Oh, and by the way, I was sorry to hear about Jim’s death. Mom told me that he was found in the wilderness. That he jumped off a cliff, but police think it’s foul play.”
“I can’t talk about it.”
“The thought gives me the creeps. Wait . . . you can’t talk about it or you won’t? Because you’re a forest service special agent, so you’re not investigating, which means you can tell me something.”
“It’s complicated. Can we talk about something else?”
“Okay then. Tell me what’s bothering you.”
“Jack is back.”
Silence met her ears for a few heartbeats, then Erin said, “Wow. By back, you mean he’s back in town?”
“He’s a detective for the county. And what’s more, the murder took place in the national forest and there are other anomalies, other pieces of the investigation that require my expertise. The sheriff deputized me as well.”
“This means you’re working with Jack?”
“Yep.”
“Gosh, Terra. How are you handling that? Did you know he was back before you . . . um . . . ran into him? What did you think when you saw—”
“Erin. Stop with the questions.” Terra laughed. “I was surprised. I had no idea he was back. I was even more surprised that he was working with the county instead of as an FBI special agent.” Oops. She shouldn’t have brought that up.
“Right, because he . . . um . . . he left for the job.”
Terra wasn’t ready to talk to Erin about all of it, just some of it. And sometimes Erin was too analytical. Terra almost missed the woman she’d known before she became a psychologist.
“Look, we’re not kids anymore. I’m over the past and I’ve moved on. We’ve all grown up and have experience under our belt. Jack too.”
Erin said nothing, for which Terra was grateful. Sometimes she knew how to be a true sounding board.
“And Jack, he looks . . .”
“I looked up his picture with the sheriff’s department. He looks good, Terra. Really good.”
“What are you trying to do?”
“Oh, sorry. I’m not trying to influence you.”
“What he looks is hardened. I suspect something happened. Why would he leave the FBI? He claims it’s because his aunt has dementia.”
“And that could be the reason, but you’re not buying it.”
“I’m not sure. I think there’s something more, but you know what? It’s really none of my business.”
“But you want it to be your business, don’t you?”
Did she? No, she didn’t. She couldn’t. “Let’s just leave it alone for now.”
“You know you want to talk about it more.”
“Erin, please.”
“All right. Promise you’ll call me when you’re ready to talk more? I promise I won’t analyze you.”
“Are you sure about that?”
“Positive. I don’t bring my job home with me. I don’t bring it into my relationships.”
“Well, whatever. There isn’t anything more to talk about. We’ve both moved on. I needed to talk about it, and you listened, and I’m done.” Liar.
“I’ll refrain from further comment then.” Erin chuckled. “I mainly called to let you know that I’ll be there this weekend. Plus, I wanted to see how you’re doing with all that’s going on.”
“Do you feel reassured now?”
“That you’re doing all right? Not as much as I’d like, but I know you, Terra. You’re made from steel.”
Terra forced a laugh. “Good night, Erin. Sleep tight. I’ll be in touch soon.”
She ended the call.
“You’re made from steel.”
Like her mother. People had always said that Sheridan Connors had been made from steel. Right. Well, Superman, the “Man of Steel,” wouldn’t have been killed by an avalanche. But Terra knew people were referring to more than Sheridan’s physical capabilities.
Before Mom had left for that fatal SAR mission, she and Terra had been arguing. Terra couldn’t even remember what it was about now. But Mom had looked at her and said, “The direction your life takes can often come down to one decision, one moment in time.”
Had she had a premonition that something was about to happen? Whatever. It happened. And on the other side of that, Terra feared she didn’t have
