“I’m sorry, but could you repeat that?” she asked, feeling a bit breathless.
The woman hesitated again. “I’m calling to see if you could come to the hospital.”
Stevie’s stomach twisted uneasily. “Why?” she whispered. “Is it my mother?” The long silence was bad. Stevie knew that it was bad. “Please. Just tell me what’s going on?”
The woman on the other end of the phone line seemed to hesitate again. But eventually, she explained. “Your mother was admitted earlier today. It would be better if you came to the hospital, so the doctors can explain in person.”
Stevie might have replied, although, afterward, she could never quite recall. The next thing she knew, she was halfway to her car, keys in hand. Her fingers shook so badly that it took several tries to unlock her car. She paused, leaning her forehead against the steering wheel in an effort to calm down. “She’s fine!” she whispered to herself. “She’s perfectly fine!” Stevie had been to her mother’s house just last week for dinner and her mother had been in perfect health. The hospital had called so that Stevie could help her mother for some reason.
Taking several deep breaths, she calmed her racing heart. For a moment, she considered calling Janus, but realized that she didn’t know his phone number. He’d written it on a piece of paper, but that was up in her apartment. Right now, she needed to hurry.
Driving carefully, she made her way through the busy streets of Seattle until she reached Interstate Five. From there, she picked up speed, but stayed in the right hand lane and drove at the speed limit, afraid of going any faster in her current mental state. Driving on autopilot, she got off the interstate, taking route five-twenty-two towards Bothel, then veering left onto Route Nine. From there, it was a straight shot into Snohomish County. It was less than a ninety minute drive from her house to the hospital, but for Stevie, it was the longest drive she’d ever taken. Her imagination was good on a regular day. But knowing that her mother was in the hospital, possibly in pain and needing her, Stevie was on the brink of tears.
She’d lost her father to cancer years ago. It was just her and her mother now. There had been no other siblings and both of her parents were only children as well. So, she didn’t have any aunts or uncles, no cousins or grandparents. Just her mother.
Stevie pulled into the parking lot of the hospital and quickly located the office Gail had mentioned. As soon as Stevie knocked, she knew that something was horribly wrong.
“Please,” she whispered through numb lips as the door opened. “Grief Counselor” had been the nameplate on the door, which only made Stevie’s stomach clench harder.
Gail gestured to a sofa. “Please, will you have a seat?”
Stevie stared at the sofa. Then at the box of tissues on the coffee table. “Please, tell me what’s wrong.”
Gail smiled, but there was a wealth of pity in her eyes. “Please, have a seat and we’ll talk.”
Stevie didn’t want to sit. She didn’t want to even be in this office. She wanted to get away, to hide from what this Gail-person was going to say.
But Gail looked as if she wasn’t going to say anything until Stevie sat down. Resentment boiled up inside of her as she perched on the edge of the sofa. Gail sat next to Stevie and took her hand. “I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news. Your mother was in a car accident this morning. She was stopped at a stoplight and, another car was speeding and lost control. They hit your mother’s vehicle.” Gail took a deep breath before continuing. “Paramedics were called, but your mother…” she paused again, squeezing Stevie’s hand, “the doctors weren’t able to save her. She passed away about two hours ago. I’m so sorry.”
Gail handed Stevie a tissue. Stevie took the tissue, but wasn’t sure what she should do with it. Staring down at it, Gail’s words echoed through her thoughts. Accident? No, that was impossible. Her mother was such a careful driver. Red light. Accident. Paramedics. Those words whirled through her mind over and over again. But none of them made any sense. What couldn’t the doctors do? Save her mother? No, that wasn’t right. Her mother was at home. Her mother was at home, working in her garden. Or just returning from church. Her mother was…
“Do you have any questions for me?” Gail asked gently.
Stevie lifted her gaze from the tissue to stare at Gail, trying to understand what she was talking about.
“She’s…?”
Green eyes. Gail had green eyes. Eyes that filled with sympathy. For her? For the world? Surely it was for the world because…Stevie didn’t need pity. She needed…? She needed to find her mother! This was all a big mistake! “Yes, dear. Your mother passed away this morning.”
Stevie shook her head, refusing to believe this woman’s words. “No. That’s wrong. She’s fine.”
Gail’s head tipped to the side and she squeezed Stevie’s hand again. “I know this is a lot to take in, dear.”
Stevie wanted to tell Gail to stop calling her “dear”. Gail was trying to help by making the relationship seem more intimate than it was. But Stevie didn’t like it.
“Could you…” she stopped, not sure what she needed to hear. Her mother was…gone? Gone-gone? As in, never to be here again? No more hugs? No more phone calls “just to check in”? Stevie loved her mother. They talked at least once a week, if not more often. They met for lunch, her mother cooked dinner on Sunday nights at least once a month. They spent their holidays together and laughed together and…whenever Stevie needed a shoulder, her mother was always there for her! It was just the
