‘We’ll set up a roster.’ Mrs Nolan patted her handbag. ‘Poor love.’ She nodded at Tessa, who was moving at a grown-up slow pace. ‘Been telling me all about it. She’s got a lot on her plate.’
‘We’ll be right, thanks, Mrs Nolan,’ I said in a rush. ‘It was just lucky Mum did a lot of extra cooking the day before she had to go.’
Mrs Nolan turtled her neck back to give me a stab-sharp look like something wasn’t adding up. But she didn’t say what, and I wasn’t about to ask in case it ended up someplace I didn’t like.
‘Best be on the safe side, though,’ she finally said. More patting against her handbag. Philly had her eyes glued on it, despite Mum being who knows where. That bag was as shiny black as the party shoes Philly had tried to wear to Church.
‘Just luck I opened up early this morning to check everything was shipshape.’ Mrs Nolan tsked. ‘And very fortunate I did. Imagine my worry when I saw Sarah hadn’t done the altar.’ She put her hands up like stoplights in front of her. ‘I just happened to have the roses in the car. Saved the day. You never know what will come in handy, I say.’
Is that what you say? I said, but all in my head. Then: Are you and your roses tooling around waiting for somebody to slip up? Like my mum. Happy now?
‘We don’t need a roster, thanks Mrs Nolan,’ I said, making my voice loud. ‘Mum’ll be back in a fair shake of a pussy cat’s tail.’ I hoped hard that using Mum’s own kind of words might add a bit of weight.
Mrs Nolan gave me a look like I had dirt on my face. ‘There’s Kathy. We’ll sort it out.’ She headed off to catch Mrs Tyler, patting my arm before I could whip it out of the way.
I screwed up my face at Mrs Nolan’s wide, wide back.
Philly looked out to where the other kids were haring about like aeroplanes and windmills. She took a step to go and join them, but Tessa’s hand snaked out and grabbed her by the elbow. Philly’s face jerked up. Tessa shook her head. We both knew what that meant. We had a sick Aunty Peg and a saint of a mother, so we’d better make her proud. I caught Tommy’s eye. He had his hand on the edge of the slingshot poking out of his pocket. We’d made it out of the crook of a good old branch last Sunday and we were going to test it out on the bullseye tree today. I lopsided my mouth and shook my head. He jerked his head saying he understood, scuffed his feet in solidarity with me for a few seconds, then sent me an apologetic twist of his mouth which served as a smile and took off. I didn’t mind. I would have done the same.
Philly leaned back beside me on the wall again, her mouth bunched up at the unfairness. We stood there, nobody looking but everybody knowing where we were. Tessa was in the women’s circle for the first time in her life.
In the empty stretch of boring, I elbowed Philly and showed her a couple of pebbles I’d taken out of my pocket. I nodded towards Tessa. Philly shook her head as if to ask, What’s wrong with you? So I threw a pebble at Tessa’s back all on my own. Tessa didn’t look around. So I threw another—with a bit more force. She put her hand behind her and formed her fingers into a gun.
I let a few more minutes of nothing snail by and when Tessa was good and distracted with the sad of it all, I wandered back into the hush of the church where Mrs Tyler was collecting up the vases on the altar. I was sorry Mum wasn’t there to do the flowers. All us girls helped her, but Mum looked to me to get them right because I was the best feeler among the lot of us.
After a while I went up the aisle to the altar rail. I pressed my hands to my tummy while I waited, but Mrs Tyler didn’t come out of the sacristy where she’d taken the vases. I scratched my face with my bitten-back nails, then bobbed before the altar, hoping God wouldn’t strike me down for going where I didn’t belong. I went up the stairs and then behind the heavy red velvet curtains.
Mrs Tyler was there fussing about with goblets and vases. When I was with Mum I loved the feel of all the shiny tin and smooth glass, but now I shouldn’t be here because women were only allowed if they were cleaning up after the priest. Which Mrs Tyler was. But I wasn’t.
‘What’s up, love?’ Mrs Tyler asked as if she didn’t think it strange that I was there at all.
I couldn’t get the words lined up right.
She put the gold serving plate she was holding down and came over to me. ‘You worried about your mum?’
I nodded. I didn’t mind Mrs Tyler because Mum liked her best.
She kneaded my shoulder. ‘She’ll be back.’
‘She wants a roster,’ I blurted out.
‘Who? Nancy?’
I nodded my head as if I could nod it right off.
‘You worried it means your mum’s not coming back?’
I kept my head at nodding because that was exactly right. Mrs Nolan was the one who drove Mum away and maybe she knew more than anyone.
‘Your mum’s helping Peg and we’re helping your mum. That’s the way things are done.’ She looked at the open wardrobe where she’d just about finished putting it all away. Shuffled a couple of vases to the side. Picked up
