I sat on the floor in the middle of the chair circle waiting for the others. Philly came to sit by me, close, tucking in under my wing. She nudged my shoulder like a foal. ‘You reckon it’ll be Tessa or Tim?’
I pulled the side of my mouth down at this new worry. Tessa’s the oldest so she’ll want to lead the rosary, but Tim’s the boy so he’ll reckon he should lead off. Tim came into the laundry and shucked off his boots, just the way Dad did.
At the sound, Tessa flew in from the lounge, kneeled in front of her chair and took up her beads, feeding through them to get to the right starting one. Philly and I got to our knees too and slid across the lino to slump over the seat of our chairs as well, giving our backs to each other.
‘The first Sorrowful Mystery, the Agony in the Garden,’ said Tessa before Tim could even get his beads into his hands. He kneeled over his chair without putting up a fight.
Twenty minutes later the lino was getting its teeth dug up good into my knees. Truth be told, it had been biting in a while, but I’d been offering up the pain to get Mum out of purgatory. But I was real glad when Tessa swung on to the final Glory Be. When it was all done, Philly collapsed on the floor. I grinned and leaped like a frog and sat on her. She giggled. Tessa frowned, like she didn’t know if giggling after the rosary was wrong. Then Tim was on top of us, wrestling me off.
We jumped up and shoved the chairs aside. Philly got the towels from the bathroom and twisted them up to mark out the arena on the ground. Tim, now Gorgeous George Junior, got into the ring first. Frank Knucklebender, me, charged in there after him. Baby Face Davo kneeled just outside the ring and leaned in as far as she could, arm stretching, stretching towards Frank.
Gorgeous George swung low from side to side like he was an ape and then he lunged, going in fast. I dodged, but George turned fierce and grabbed me about the waist and brought me down. He had a knee on my chest and it was pressing in hard. ‘Little Sheila,’ said Gorgeous George with a big grin. But Frank Knucklebender sees red, just like me, and the red exploded out of his belly and rolled Gorgeous George off. He yelped with the surprise, but lurched back around to pin me down.
I flung out my hand to tag Baby Face, but George pulled me back so I couldn’t reach Philly. Gorgeous George’s arms tightened. Tim’s eyes were squeezed shut. He took one hand from around my neck and pounded his fist into my arm.
‘Tim,’ I yelled. ‘Tim, it’s me. It’s me.’
Tessa screamed at him to stop. He pounded on. I pushed up into him and got my arms around him and hugged him hard. Philly was hugging him from the back. Tessa flew over, grabbed his fist, so then her hands and his were both pounding into my arm. Then she got her hands to his cheeks and cradled him up. The surprise of it stopped him. He slumped over, breathing like he’d been galloping a runaway. Philly lay against his back, Tessa kneeled over him and I was in the middle. Holding on.
Mum would know what to do.
Time slithered like a snake, all silent and like it wasn’t there. Eventually Philly got the bright idea to get the Milo tin and four spoons. We lay on our tummies just where we were. Licking the last of it from the spoons before dipping them straight back in the tin again. Tessa too. She didn’t even say anything when Tim’s and Philly’s spoons crashed on the way out of the tin and Milo went all over the floor. She just licked her thumb and pressed it over the little brown dots on the lino, then licked them off her finger. Tim, Philly and I looked at each other, a big question between us. Tim shrugged, and then we were all licking our thumbs and pressing them into the floor.
All the rules were broken and bloody now.
When Tim had had enough he downed tools and lay on his back, staring at the ceiling. Philly copied him. Tessa and I looked at each other and did the same. It was like we were still in the middle of everything and none of us wanted to go on to the next thing.
‘Mum would be so mad,’ said Tim, a smile swimming in his voice.
‘She was Sister Mary of the flying tea towel,’ I said, thinking of her charging at one of us.
‘Or Mother Superior of the Sore Bum Order,’ said Tim.
‘Or Mother Whack-a-lot,’ said Philly.
‘Monkey,’ said Tessa, tickling Philly, who squeaked. Tessa lay on her back again, but this time she was right flat beside Philly.
‘Do you reckon Aunty Peg was sick at all?’ I asked.
Nobody said nothing.
‘Or,’ I said, tasting the words as they came out loud for the first time, ‘maybe Mum just left us, like Dad said in the first place.’
‘You have to spoil everything,’ said Tessa.
She said it like a fact.
ALMOST PROOF
After lunch, Tessa spread her hands behind her on my bed, pretend-lounging back. I flicked a page in Mum’s flower book. Tessa coughed to get my attention. I held the book higher, turning it into a barrier between us.
‘What about Mum’s lilac for her funeral?’ asked Tessa.
I bought the book closer in so I couldn’t see any part of her. Mum and I understood flowers, not her, and I wasn’t going to let her in close on this.
‘She’s not in love,’ I said.
‘She said it also means
