I thought that being a singer would be enough. Singin’ is all I could do, up to that point. I had never learned to deal with so many different types of people. I had never had to see, touch, and smell so many different cultures and vibes. I had never had to love so many people, and I actuallydid. I loved them all for loving me and wanting to see me and touch me, but it was overwhelming at times and I wanted to run and hide. Especially on those days that it rained or it was too hot to wear the outfit that had been chosen for me. Or the times I didn’t feel good. Or the days after the nights that I hadn’t slept because Zion had been crying on the phone to me. Or the days that I was just feeling guilty for being there inside of this limousine with ten thousand people needing me, while Zion needed me the most.
The excitement of winning has been overwhelming. I have not been used to this much attention in my life except for compliments about my voice and a lot of negative talk about the mistakes in my life. Getting the key to High Point from the mayor left me speechless. I think, How did ’Tasia become the “favorite daughter,” when once I was the bad girl to everyone in town?
My shock about all of this comes from the fact that I’m just like these people who come out to see me, who wait in the mall for me, who send me portraits of me that they drew. Just like them, I’m excited by somebody who accomplished somethin’, hopin’ that their good luck could somehow rub off on me…but now that “somebody” is me andI am trippin’.
Truth be told, I’m just a young Christian woman with a complicated story to tell. It probably doesn’t seem complicated for the girls, like me, who take our laughter and tears in equal doses and feel every day that all the stuff that we go through is just the way life goes. My life only seems complicated for the people who have never been where I started. People who have never evenvisited a poor community where dreams are simply something you do when you sleep.
Most people would never believe some of the things that I’ve been through, but I’m going to tell you about how I started doing adult things way before I even knew what I was doing. I’m also going to tell you the consequences of those things. I have suffered consequences that I hope even adults will never have to suffer.
I got the idea to write this book because my life has changed in a way that makes me feel like I’m going to bust with nervousness, excitement, confusion, and fear all at once. I couldn’t hold all those feelings in anymore. I have been through some crazy things, and I’m finally comfortable enough to talk about them. I can even sit back and laugh at some of them. I still cry about many of them, though. I hope that what I have been through may help people of all ages and nationalities. I hope that this book shows that it is possible to change, no matter what you have done or what has been done to you.
Lastly, I feel like I can say, Chase your dreams, no matter what people say, no matter whatseems like it is in your way.
Life isn’t a fairy tale. It’s a real life story—yours.Only you can make your own happy ending. Dreams are not just for sleeping.
1.Recognize
Your
Gift
The Bibleand my mother always say, “To whom much is given, much is required.” That is how I live my life—now. But it wasn’t always that way. For most of my young life, much wasnot given. Maybe this saying means that muchhardship has to be given before receiving the blessings that God intends.A lot has been required. But my experiences have shown me that the amount of pain you endure will eventually result in abundance, as long as you stay faithful.
Faith is a legacy for many women in my family, as are the legacies of teen pregnancy, being single mothers, emotional and physical abuse, and poverty. We have all survived it because of the church and our powerful belief in God and prayer. All of the women in my family have had too many experiences for their years, and we seem much older than we are. Most people are surprised that I’m only twenty-one years old. But what seems mature and experienced is just me trying to survive. I have learned and seen a lot in my twenty-one years, but I still have a lot to learn. You will see that as you learn more about Fantasia.
People often ask me:Who is the real Fantasia? The answer is:What you see is what you get. I would consider myself a very sensitive, outgoing person, and I hope that shows in everything I do and how I treat everyone around me. I care very much about people, probably too much—and I fall in love too easily, as you will see. I am just a country girl who loves the Lord and loves to have a good time. I still kick off my shoes every chance I get—even on TV!
Like all southern folk, I
