While watching the contestants in front of me, I listened to the answers they were giving in response to the simple question “Why do you think you should be the next American Idol?” Everyone was talkin’ all over themselves, saying dumb things like, “I have worked so hard and I have been singing all my life and that’s why I should be the American Idol!”
I decided I wasn’t going to say anything like that, because the judges were bored of hearing it over and over again. I walked up to the mic and said, “My name is Fantasia Barrino. I have a two-year-old daughter; her name is Zion. My lips are big, but my talent is bigger.” The judges were shocked that I was so bold to say what everyone was thinking about my lips. They laughed nervously but didn’t know how to respond, so they asked me about my child. One of them said, “You have a child?” I said, “I do,” and they asked, “What are you going to sing, Fantasia?” I sang a Marvin Gaye song, “I Heard It Through the Grapevine,” and Simon said, “Fantasia, you are going to Hollywood.”
My whole family—my mama, my daddy, J.B. Grandma Addie, and Zion—were all waiting in the hallway, givin’ me so much love and kisses when I came out of that audition. We were all takin’ pictures and smiling like folks who had never smiled before. It was all a blur. It was amazing how life can change in one moment. Suddenly, I had hope.
Out of the 42,000 contestants who were seen in seven cities, 117 were going to Hollywood. When we arrived in Hollywood, we were placed in a hotel near the Pasadena Civic Center, where we were going to perform. I had never been to Pasadena before. I had never been to California for that matter. The sky was so blue it looked fake. The palm trees towered over everything, and it felt like I was walking through a cloud. I prayed for God to keep me from burstin’, I was so excited.
We were immediately given a roommate. My roommate was the same age as me and she was female. That was the criteria for roommate selection. My roommate partied the whole time. All of this stuff had happened so fast to me. I was having to deal with so many people and all these personalities. It was all new to me. Back home, everyone was the same. I was seeing and dealing with types of people that I had never even imagined before. It was exhausting. I couldn’t even think about partyin’. I just needed to get my rest and tune out this whole week of auditions. Every day after I did whatever I needed to do forIdol, I would go back to the hotel, call my family, say my prayers, and go to sleep.
I heard one of the producers call this week “boot camp.” It was crazy. This was the time that the producers could see who had real talent, not just people who could sing in the shower.
The first audition you can pick any song you want and sing it alone. That was simple enough. I chose another R&B classic that my mother used to sing around the house, and I knew it well after hearing it for years on end. The song was called, “I Try” by Angela Bofill. The song was all about lovin’ a man who doesn’t love you. I sang the song, remembering everything my mother and I had been through. My heart felt every note.
For the second audition, you had to write a song on your own. I can’t even remember what I came up with, but it was soulful and allowed me to show my “big vocal,” as my mother calls it. I was getting the swing of this process, and it was feeling easier to me. I was reaching my comfort zone. I was singin’! Although the number of contestants was now only 117, there was still craziness. Managing all of the auditions, comments, judges, and egos was a lot to handle. Most of the days were spent auditioning at the Pasadena Civic Center, practicing for the next round’s assignment, or at the hotel, trying to prepare your clothes for the next audition. BecauseAmerican Idol is a TV show, everything about the process is being taped. Everywhere you look there is a camera in your face. During the aired season, often clips of the audition process are shown, especially if the people make it to the Top 12, which is when the professional stylists and makeup artists start working with the singers. Before that, we had to do our own hair and makeup, which is scary, especially if you have never been on camera before and don’t know how you’ll look. Some of the people that I was competing against were from New York City and Atlanta. Those people know about fashion and clothes. They know how to make themselves look good. They compete against other people every day. I didn’t feel like I had looked good for the past three years, since before I had gotten pregnant.
Just like the producer said, those auditions were like singin’ boot camp. Instead of being told to do push-ups at a moment’s notice, you were asked to perform a particular style of song that has to be prepared in less than a day. Sometimes these songs are performed in a group and other times you are asked to sing a solo. You have to be ready to do whatever they ask. It helps to have lots of different kinds of songs in mind because you have very little time to learn anything. The folks who know lots of different styles of music have a better chance. Because
