“I had no idea. You’re so beautiful and confident, and the way Ryder looks at you.”
“That’s the thing, though. Doubt can make you blind to what’s right in front of you. Raine told me over, and over again, she could see how much Ryder was into me, but I didn’t see it, and once I did…” She let out a sad sigh. “I thought he was with someone else. To make matters worse, it was with a person he knew I didn’t like. It felt like such a betrayal, but if I’d been thinking with a clear head, I would have known Ryder would never do that.”
“So, you’re saying that I need to be more confident in myself and to listen to those around me? Easier said than done.”
“I know it is. I was damaged from having multiple men cheat on me, and that made it hard for me to trust even though Ryder never once did anything to make me think he’d betray me. I know you’ve been burned by your ex, but don’t make the next man pay for your ex’s mistakes.”
Again, easier said than done, but it was good advice. I shouldn’t put all the baggage I had onto someone else because of what Brock had done.
“Well, if I ever met a guy I’m interested in, I’ll do that or at least try.”
“What would you do if the guy from the boat showed up on your doorstep tomorrow? Would you be with him?”
I sputtered, making Lexie’s sultry laugh fill the compartment. Everyone was looking at us, but we didn’t care.
“That’s a leap. I’d probably wonder how in the hell he found me, but I wouldn’t be opposed to...I barely know the guy.”
Lexie turned to look at me. “We can never know a person unless we give them a chance. Think about when we met. We didn’t know each other, but there was an instant connection. We built on that connection, and now it’s like we’ve known each other forever.”
She was right. How was I ever going to meet a man if I never gave him a chance? If by some miracle, Remy did walk into my life, I needed to give him a chance. I already knew there was an insane physical attraction between us. Plus, I liked talking to him the little I had when I was in Spain. There was something about him that made it easy for me to open up to him, and that had to mean something. I didn’t go about telling everyone I met my life story.
A thought came to me, and I felt the blood drain from my face. “Please don’t tell me you somehow tracked him down, and he’s going to surprise me in Amsterdam. I’m not sure I’ll be able to take it.”
“Oh my God, you should see your face. At least now I know you do not like surprises. Good to know.” Her face cracked into a large grin.
“I like doing the surprising, not the one being surprised, so please, no matter how much Pen tries to tell you I love them, trust me when I tell you I really don’t.”
“Okay.” The word hung in the air, and I could tell she wanted more from me.
“Let’s just say I’ve never had a good experience where surprises were involved. In fact, they’ve all ended up being complete disasters.”
“Then I promise not to surprise you. If it makes you feel better, I haven’t tried to track down the man you met on the boat. If I wanted to, I’m sure I could pull a few strings to find out his contact information, but I won’t unless you tell me you want me to.”
I did, but I was afraid of what I’d find out. It had been almost a year since our time together. Who was to say Remy hadn’t met a woman and fallen in love with her?
“Stop thinking about it for now and enjoy our little impromptu vacation. You deserve one after that hectic book tour.”
I had been busy. It showed me what Pen did when she was on tour with a band; only hers was ramped up times a thousand.
“I kind of feel bad that I’m keeping you away from your family, especially now that I know you haven’t been apart. They could have come.”
“They could have, but that’s too much flying back-to-back with Delilah. If we could have stayed longer, I would have brought them with us. They’ll be fine, and I’ll be fine. Dillie loves her dad, and I’m sure she’ll love all of his attention solely on her for a change.”
“When you look at him with your daughter, do your ovaries ache for him to impregnate you?”
“Something like that.” She leaned closer as if she was going to tell me a secret. “We’ve been talking about having another baby, and I stopped taking my birth control.” She shrugged. “So, we’ll see. It’ll happen when it happens.”
I had a feeling it would happen very soon.
“I’m not sure I’m equipped to handle seeing your husband holding a baby. If you’re planning to get pregnant, then I need to get a boyfriend stat.”
One eyebrow rose in question. “One that you want to have a baby with?”
“Maybe,” I shrugged one shoulder. “I don’t even know if I can get pregnant. I tried for years with Brock, and no matter what we tried, I never got pregnant. Maybe it was a sign I’m not meant to be a mother.”
“Or maybe it was a sign that you
