‘There’s not even any fuckin’ music,’ said Josh.
‘Put some on then,’ said Calvin.
‘No chance, my dad’ll go fuckin’ spare.’
The lack of music was soon remedied when Aunty Tamara bounded into the living room. ‘Get some lively music on that stereo, Josh,’ she ordered, pointing to a pile of CDs which she had left nearby. ‘It’s like a graveyard in here.’
Aunty Tamara started off the dancing, her moves lively and provocative. The alcohol was now flowing and the adults gradually came into the living room and joined in while the youngsters looked on, bored.
‘Come and have a dance,’ Aunty Tamara shouted over to Trina and her cousins.
The boys resisted, but Trina was dragged onto the dance floor. She felt embarrassed as her aunty gyrated close to her and she could hear her two cousins laughing in the background.
Eventually she managed to escape and found that her two cousins had now disappeared. She had a look round the house, but they seemed to have left. Despite their ridicule and insults, at least they had provided some company for Trina. Now there was no one left to talk to, so she busied herself by keeping an eye on her younger brothers while her mother joined in the dancing and drinking.
Trina was willing the party to come to an end when she became aware of a fracas. It seemed to be coming from outside the front door and she strained to hear what was being said. The loudest voice was one she recognised and it sent a cold chill down her spine. It was her father.
9
December 1991
Trina could hear her father yelling even though he was still outside. ‘I told you, I’m not leaving here till I’ve seen my fuckin’ daughter. I’ve got a present for her birthday.’
‘No, Isaac. You’re not coming in. You’ve got a drink inside you and you’ll only cause trouble.’
‘No, I fuckin’ won’t!’ shouted Isaac, and Trina could tell he was already becoming angry.
‘You stay where you are, child,’ warned Trina’s grandmother while some of the men rushed to the door to sort out her troublesome father.
She could hear various angry words being exchanged, and lots of bad language, then a scream, which she thought came from her mother.
‘Just give me the present and I’ll take it to her,’ said Trina’s grandfather. ‘I swear, Isaac, if you don’t go now, I’m calling the police.’
Then all went quiet and the adults trudged back into the room. While Daisy went over to her sister, Tamara, who consoled her, Trina’s grandfather handed her the present. The wrapping paper was torn and creased and some material was poking out.
Trina opened the present tentatively while her mother looked on. It was a shell suit. She almost squealed with delight when she pulled it out of the wrapping paper, and caught sight of the popular sports label. If only her cousins had stayed to see this! It was the best present of the day and Trina had wanted one for ages. She looked up with a smile until she caught the scornful expression on her mother’s face and quickly put the present back down.
‘It’s alright when you can afford them sorts of gifts,’ her mother muttered.
‘That’s supposing he did buy it,’ said Aunty Tamara.
Trina’s grandma tutted. ‘Tamara, that’s not a nice thing to say. He might have his faults, but at least he brought something for the child.’
As she spoke, she looked at Trina with kindness in her eyes, and Trina knew the words had been spoken for her benefit so that she wouldn’t feel any worse about the fact that her father had gate-crashed the party and caused a load of bother.
Her grandmother’s words also acted as a warning to the other adults to stay quiet on the subject. Daisy responded by tutting and leaving the room. While she was gone, Trina took another surreptitious look at the shell suit. She couldn’t help but feel a shiver of delight when she imagined herself parading around in it and getting admiring glances and comments from the local girls.
It wasn’t long before Daisy came back into the room, carrying their coats. ‘Thank you for everything,’ she said to Trina’s grandparents, ‘but I’m afraid it’s time for us to go now.’
‘Aw! You sure?’ asked Aunty Tamara.
‘Yes, I think the children have had enough excitement for one day,’ she said. Then she turned to Trina. ‘Come on, child. Collect your presents while I round the boys up.’
Trina gathered up the other presents first, eager to take the present from her father but apprehensive about her mother’s reaction when she did so. While she dithered, her mother walked back into the room with her younger brothers.
‘Come on now, Trina. We’re all ready,’ she said, gravely.
Trina picked up on her tone and ignored her father’s present. She was just about to walk out the door with the rest of her family when her grandmother rushed over to her carrying it.
‘Don’t forget this one, child,’ she said, smiling at Trina then flashing a knowing look at Daisy.
Trina returned her smile and took the present. But as she trudged through the streets with the rest of her family, she had mixed feelings about it. She was delighted to have received just what she wanted but, at the same time, she couldn’t help but feel that the present was somehow tainted by the way in which it had been delivered and by whom.
Daisy stayed quiet for most of the journey home. Despite the present from her father, Trina felt that it had been one of the most miserable days of her life so far. It was one thing having the present you wanted, but another thing not being able to show any joy at receiving it. Her tenth birthday somehow summed up the state of their current existence as a family, and Trina couldn’t help but wonder if things would ever get any better.
*
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