‘How dare he! What does he think I am? Damn him and all men like him. He should go to hell for saying such a thing. Him and all his kind. And look how he’s got me cursing… Damn you, Isaac, for leaving me in this state. Shaming me good name, and hardly a penny to spare. Dirty, good-for-nothing man. I should have known better than to marry you. Me mother warned me, but I wouldn’t listen.’
She clicked her tongue in that familiar way of hers when she was displeased or angry about something. ‘Young and foolish, that’s what I was. But I’m paying the price now.’
On and on went her diatribe. Trina had known that it would inevitably lead back to her father. It always did. It was rare that Daisy had a good word to say about him. Trina wasn’t surprised; her recollections of her father weren’t good ones, but it didn’t help to be constantly reminded of his failings. Still, she knew better than to say anything while her mother was in full flow.
Trina was glad when she’d finished her chores. She managed to get out of the house on the pretext of looking after Tyler, knowing that her mother didn’t fully trust her other two brothers to take care of him. She quickly slipped out of the front door and found her youngest brother alone, running one of two wrecked toy cars up and down a dirt pile on the unadopted path at the end of their street. Her other two brothers were nowhere to be seen.
‘Come on, Tyler,’ she said, holding out her hand to him. ‘You can’t play there.’ Tyler paused in his play and looked up at her. His bottom lip stuck out and Trina could tell he was about to cry but she stopped him. ‘Look, your cars are getting dirty. You can play up there on the pavement.’
Then she took him by the hand, picked up his cars and headed towards a group of girls who she had seen at the other end of the dirt path. Tyler began to whine.
‘You can have them in a bit, once we’re off the path,’ said Trina, squeezing his hand to make sure he’d got the message.
She pulled him forcefully along, ignoring his squeals till they reached the other end of the path. Then she set the cars down on the pavement. ‘Now play there, and shut it!’ she ordered, drawing the attention of the girls who were huddled in a group.
Tyler went quiet, staring at her with big, sad eyes before he knelt down on the pavement and carried on playing. Trina looked across at the girls; her so-called friends. They had been deep in conversation until Trina came along, but now they were silent.
Jessica and Laura were a similar age to Trina but Trina was a head taller. Holly was also shorter than Trina and was a year younger. Out of the three girls, Jessica was the most outspoken and, as Trina approached them, she greeted her obsequiously.
‘Hi, Trina,’ she said, but Trina wasn’t fooled. She knew the greeting was disingenuous. The other two girls followed Jessica’s lead, competing to see who could be the most ingratiating.
Trina responded with characteristic hostility. ‘How come you didn’t call for me?’ she asked, with a sneer on her face.
Jessica and Laura both answered at once, eager not to upset Trina, but their answers differed. ‘Ellis and Jarrell said you were busy,’ offered Jessica, while Laura said, ‘We were just coming.’
‘Liars!’ said Trina, scowling at the girls. ‘No way were you coming to my house, Laura, and I’m gonna ask my brothers about you, Jessica.’ She switched her glare from Laura to Jessica. ‘If they say they haven’t told you owt, then you’ll be for it.’
Jessica flushed before lowering her head and for a moment all the girls stood in silence, Trina basking in their discomfort. Then she asked Laura, ‘What’ve you got?’
Laura eagerly passed her the magazine she had been holding.
‘There’s a picture of New Kids on the Block inside,’ she said. ‘Do you want it?’
‘I thought you were putting it on your bedroom wall?’ said Jessica.
‘No, it’s OK. Trina can have it. I’ll get another,’ said Laura.
Trina flicked through the magazine while Jessica chatted to the other two girls about her latest ballet class. Then she found the poster she had been looking for. Taking care not to damage it, she removed it, but left the rest of the magazine ripped and incomplete before passing it back to Laura. Then she turned to Jessica.
‘Ballet’s for snobs,’ she snarled. ‘How come you go there?’
‘My mam wants me to go,’ said Jessica.
‘Well your mam’s a snob then,’ said Trina who would have loved to have gone to ballet classes but knew her mother couldn’t afford it.
For a few minutes more she baited the girls until she grew bored and decided to return home to search for something with which to stick the poster onto her bedroom wall.
‘Come on, Tyler. We’re going home now,’ she said. ‘And don’t you dare start crying again!’
Tyler saw the expression on Trina’s face and obediently let her lead him home.
Trina wasn’t a bad person, but she did derive a certain satisfaction from seeing the girls squirm, especially knowing that they only pretended to like her out of fear. She had found a way to exert power over others and, in a life where things were otherwise out of her control, it gave her a kick. It also helped her to deal with all the festering resentment that bubbled away inside her.
All these girls had more than her and they all had better lives. She might not be able to boast about her nice life like they could but at
