“How can she be pulled down?”
“You tell me,” said Jadockpatiently.
The answer came to Michio atonce. “By allowing fear to tear an opening in her aura, throughwhich Cadmus can use negative psychic powers to attack her.”
“So, it’s a gift that Cadmuscame into her life to help her reach purification.”
“What if the test is beyond herstrength?” Michio asked.
“The student is never testedbeyond his ability. A person is stretched and fine-tuned. At times itmay seem to be too much, but that is an illusion. Nothing is lost,even if a mistake is made. One learns from mistakes, salvaging whatone can and going on, perhaps learning in another lifetime, if notthis one.”
“Toemeka shouldn’t have toface this test alone. She’s been there for me, outwardly andinwardly, time and time again.”
“You don’t want her to bedependent on you. Toemeka has to find the inner strength to blockpsychic attacks so she can contact you inwardly. Moreover, she is notalone. Master Bakka is always inwardly with all his students. Youmust think about your own responsibilities and service to God. If youcan’t find her, what will you do?”
“Keep searching until I do.”
“Master Bakka plans to stepaside and give the leadership position to you. You’re the chosenone and have agreed to serve when the time comes. Do you still agreeto take his place someday? Will you be ready for it? Will another manaccept it instead? Mastership requires certain physical as well asspiritual responsibilities that you will be required to fulfill. Willyou be able to give up your search?”
Michio looked down. “I don’tknow.”
“Will you let your attachmentto Toemeka stand in the way of mastership?”
“I love her; that’s notattachment.”
“I’m not asking you to stoploving her. What if she succumbs to the dark powers?”
“I will help her find the Lightagain.”
“Maybe she is meant for adifferent experience this lifetime. Will you serve all equally? I’mgoing into the God Worlds. Are you coming?” The Master disappeared.
Michio contemplated on MasterJadock’s words. Metaphorically, Master Jadock was going into thehigher regions of the Inner Worlds. Michio had the choice to join himor be trapped in the lower worlds by his fears and emotions.
He lookedback at what he had written: Aswe become stronger, so do the challenges to help us reachpurification.
Michio picked up a pen andcontinued writing:
Yetthe hardest obstacles to overcome are not from others, but frominside ourselves. These obstacles are the passions and attachments ofour own minds. We cling to past happiness, not trusting that God, inIts infinite wisdom, has a greater happiness for us. We put our heartinto the changing, impermanent lower worlds, instead of toward thegreater glory of God.
Michio wondered if each sentenceof this book would be wrenched painfully from his heart. He walkedover to the window and looked at the bright stars and planets in thedark sky.
He knew he had to let go of hisattachment to Toemeka, to accept whatever life gave him. He had tosurrender his will to God. If he couldn’t surrender totally, he’dnever obtain mastership. He’d always be trapped in the lowerworlds, a victim of emotions, pushed this way and that by outercircumstances.
Life in this world had abeginning and an ending. People moved into one’s life and back outagain. Even death was an illusion, merely a change in experience.Soul did not die and inner bonds of love would remain.
It was painful to be separatedfrom Toemeka, especially when he knew she was in the hands of adangerous sorcerer. Would it be better if he’d never known her?Never opened his heart to Toemeka? Was it his love or attachment toher that brought this pain?
No, it was better to love. Hecouldn’t go through life with a closed heart, in fear of pain. He’dnever operate on the fear band. Life was to be lived to the fullest.
“I surrender my will to you, mylord God. I let go of my attachment to past happiness. I acceptwhatever life has to offer. I reaffirm my total commitment to God. Igive my life in service to It,” Michio said softly.
He felt the pain and despair liftfrom him and a deep love for all life filled his innermost being.Spirit was leading him home to God. The painful experiences weresecondary to the spiritual significance of what he was learning. Witheach experience, he became a little more a part of divine love.
A deep peace came into hisinnermost being. It was the start of his healing, but there was stilla long way yet to go.
7
Double-Cross
Amaretta didn’t return to theroom that night nor did she show up the next day. Toemeka wonderedwhat happened to her; the young woman was usually with herconstantly. A different slave delivered her meals and Toemeka ateonly the fruit or raw vegetables, still not trusting that the foodwasn’t drugged.
That evening Amaretta finallyreturned. She had an angry-looking bruise on her cheek and walked asif in pain.
“Amaretta, what happened? DidCadmus give you that bruise?”
“No, he’s never beaten me.”
“Who then?”
“One of his men.”
“Why?”
She hung her head. “I didn’tplease him.”
“Where do you spend the nightswhen you’re not with me?” Toemeka asked, realizing what Cadmussaid about the slaves was true.
“It depends on if I can sleepin my own pallet or if someone wants me.”
“Some of the guards abuse you?”
“Yes.”
“I’m sorry, Amaretta. It mustbe awful for you. You must stay here at night.”
“It’s not so bad. The menhave needs. Some are cruel, like the man that beat me. But some arekinder. Sometimes for a moment, I can even pretend they care.”
“They?”
“He.”
“What’s his name?”
“Gideon. He’s one of Cadmus’guards and lately he’s sort of staked a claim on me, so the othermen leave me alone. I’m not pretty. They’re glad to satisfy theirlust elsewhere. But Gideon wasn’t around last night. He wasn’tlooking for me since I’ve been spending nights here.”
Toemeka wondered what kind of manGideon was. If he was a decent man, perhaps he could buy Amaretta’sfreedom. But he could be a heartless man, preying on a young woman’sneed for protection and affection.
“Maybe, if I was beautiful likeyou, Gideon would fall in love with me.” She frowned, “But forthe most part, I’m glad I’m plain, so I’m not ill-used moreoften.”
“Has Cadmus ever
