There’s one thing in particular. A small detail. But the devil is in the detail, as they say.
Epilogue
2002
‘Shit, shit. Is she dead?’ Charlie appeared beside me. She looked like the Joker, mascara-blackened tears rolling down her cheeks. She tugged at her hair, as if she wanted to pull it out at the roots.
‘Yes. I think so.’ I tried to gather my wits. ‘I suppose we need to call an ambulance,’ I said. ‘Have you got a phone?’
Charlie stared at me, her features frozen in horror. ‘I left it at Nessa’s.’
‘It’s okay. Mine’s in my handbag.’ I stood up and walked to the car in a dream and fumbled for my phone. My fingers were wet with the rain and the phone was slippery in my hands as I held it. I switched it on with shaking fingers and started to dial.
But my finger froze, poised over the last nine. I was suddenly paralysed. I couldn’t bring myself to touch it. If I called an ambulance now, I’d be in big, big trouble and what good would it do? The little girl was already dead. It wouldn’t make any difference to her. I looked over at Charlie who was crouching by the side of the road with her head in her hands. No one need ever know, I thought. And quickly, before I could change my mind, I pressed the button on the side, turning off the phone and I shoved it in the side pocket of the driver’s seat.
‘Shit,’ I called out to Charlie.
‘Did you get hold of them?’ Charlie asked, as I got closer. She was shivering, whether from cold or shock I couldn’t tell. I felt completely numb, as if I was in a dream, but at the same time all my senses were alert, like I was superhuman. It was the shock, I suppose.
‘No,’ I said through the rain. ‘I couldn’t. My phone’s run out of battery.’
Acknowledgements
I owe a big debt of thanks to my brilliant, tactful and patient new editor, Florence Hare, to Anne Newman, whose thorough approach was very helpful in establishing an accurate timeline and to the whole team at Quercus, who have helped make this book a reality. I also want to thank Toby and Max for putting up with me talking endlessly about plots and characters and for never failing to make me laugh. Finally, as always, I would like to thank my partner, Jim, for more than I can express in words.
