Unless she phoned a friend, she could often go all evening without speaking to anyone. It felt worse because she wasn’t living on her own; it wasn’t like she’d chosen this existence. She had a flatmate who she just didn’t see any more. If she wanted to be on her own, she’d have found a one-bed flat somewhere. She sat on the sofa and flicked through the TV channels. The idea of being on her own and starting her own business was what scared her the most. Taking a leap of faith and starting anew. Particularly if it was somewhere other than London... She didn’t have an infinity to the capital. Yes, she had lots of friends and there were good things about working in the city, but there was an underlying sadness to living in a place that held so many memories for her both good and bad.
There was nothing on she fancied watching, so she got her book from her bag and sat on the sofa with her feet tucked beneath her. The radiator was on but she still needed her cosy socks and a blanket to stay warm.
Jazz texted her around nine to say she was out and wouldn’t be home until later. By out, Freya knew she meant with her boyfriend Nate. Jazz was at least good like that, letting her know where she was. And on the occasions she was home, they would sometimes go out together for a meal or to the cinema, or if they didn’t fancy venturing out, they’d cook together, chat and have a laugh. Those occasions were becoming more and more infrequent as Jazz’s relationship with Nate became more serious. It was to be expected; unlike her, Jazz had no intention of staying single, but Freya missed having the company of her flatmate.
It was gone midnight and Freya was already in bed when she heard the door to the flat open and close. A giggle, unmistakably from Jazz. A thump as something fell to the floor. A shush, definitely Jazz. ‘What?’ a male voice said – Nate. Freya had almost drifted off. She sighed and snuggled further beneath the covers. But because Jazz was trying to be quiet, she ended up being louder than if she hadn’t bothered trying. The tap in the bathroom came on, the flush went, another door banged. Jazz giggled again as she closed her bedroom door. The squeak of bedsprings. More giggling, more squeaking, more shushing. The thump of a headboard against the bedroom wall was harder to ignore. Why was there never any traffic noise when it would be helpful to drown things out? Freya wasn’t jealous; she was fine being single, and it wasn’t like she’d never brought a boyfriend back, it was just that was in the past. Jazz being with Nate accentuated how quiet her evening had been. How most evenings were, and she knew she didn’t want to continue feeling like this, so uncertain, so hopeless, so lonely. Not that a bloke would fix that, that was not what she wanted. What she did need was sleep. She needed to switch off, ready to begin again tomorrow. The endless cycle of her life.
Chapter Two
Through the oval window, the endless blue spread as far as Freya could see. Somewhere down there in the middle of the Indian Ocean was the island she’d be living and working on for the foreseeable future. Freya smoothed her hands down her maxi skirt and breathed deeply, trying to calm the nerves that kept resurfacing when she started to think about the coming days, weeks and months.
The ten-hour flight had at least allowed her to process her thoughts. She’d left Heathrow in the evening, shivering in her summer skirt and blouse with only a cardigan thrown over the top. She’d had to pack one suitcase for the next nine months and a jumper or a coat would have taken up too much space. It had felt surreal joining others who were heading off on an exotic holiday when the UK was in the midst of an uncharacteristically chilly and wet September.
The last few months had been a whirlwind of major life decisions. After reading the Facebook post about the job, Freya hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it, knowing that she fitted the job description perfectly. She had nearly nine years’ experience in publishing, first at an independent children’s publisher working in marketing, before moving to Bloom & Cole as an editor and working with an eclectic list of women’s fiction and YA authors. She loved books, knew the industry inside and out, and had the passion for selling and marketing with the experience to back that up.
But it had been that evening back at the empty flat when Jazz hadn’t come home until late that had cemented Freya’s decision to apply. An understanding had dawned on her that she had to do something to shake up her life, to get herself out of the rut of living for work and little else. At work she was confident and sure of herself; outside of it she was struggling. She had plenty of friends but they all seemed to be moving in different directions; marriage, children and settling down were at the forefront of their minds. Without overthinking it, she’d filled out the application form a couple of days after being tagged in the Facebook post. She didn’t talk to Jazz about it. Only Aisha knew. On the slim chance that she got the job, Freya was pretty certain that Jazz would jump at the chance of Nate moving in with her, but it was pointless putting the idea in her head and it not working out. Freya also didn’t think
