“Guess this is it,” he said, holding her in a loose embrace.
“Yeah, guess so.”
He sank his mouth down on hers in what he intended to be a short kiss goodbye, but which lengthened with the knowledge that it would be their last—and he hoped like hell it was reminding her of all the incredible passion they’d shared.
When it finally ended, she bit her slightly swollen lip and gazed up at him. Neither one said goodbye. She finally broke the gaze and climbed in the car. They looked at each other through the window until Cole pulled away.
Chapter Fifteen
Carrie tried to return to the bookstore the next morning with a happy heart. And indeed, it was good to pick up Dickens from the cat-sitter, and good to see all her beloved books, as well as the historic old building that held them—but inside she was sad.
What didn’t help was having her mother call first thing at nine a.m. to check on her. Of course, she’d expected the concern—when her mom had last seen her, she’d been fleeing from the heartbreak of a ruined wedding. There was no way her mother could know the much more brutal heartbreak assaulting her now.
The second time the phone rang, it was Jon. “Babe, it’s me.”
Just hearing his voice made something wither inside her. “What do you want?”
“To apologize. To make things up to you somehow. I’m begging you, Carrie, give me another chance.”
She simply sighed. She didn’t need this right now, too. “Jon, it’s too late.”
“It’s never too late, babe,” he said, sounding like a sappy love song.
How could she get through to him? How could she explain that she really wasn’t all that upset about what he’d done anymore because her time away had made her realize how little she cared about him. “Jon, I accept your apology, okay? Truly, I do. But it’s time for us both to move on.”
“Move on to what, Carrie? We’ve been in each other’s lives so long, I don’t know how to exist without you.”
She understood what he meant—at first, she’d thought she’d never get by without him; they’d seemed like such permanent fixtures in each other’s world given their ten-year history. Now, she thought she might miss the habit of his friendship—but that was all. “You’ll exist fine, Jon. Trust me. We’ll both exist just fine.”
It took awhile, but she finally got off the phone, hoping she’d convinced him that she wasn’t interested in rekindling their relationship. The truth was, it was hard to imagine having a relationship with anyone but Chris at the moment, and she had a feeling it might be a long time before she dove back into the dating pool.
Two book sales and a cup of coffee later, the phone rang again, and this time it was Diana. “I’m coming home,” she said.
“What for?”
“Because you sound awful. Clearly, I was wrong to talk you into going on vacation without him.”
“Oh, Diana, you’ve got it all wrong. Vacation was…wonderful. In fact, I…met a guy. A really hot, perfect guy who changed the way I look at life.”
Her sister paused slightly. “And he broke your heart now, too? My God, what’s his name and how do I find him? I’ll kill him.”
Carrie couldn’t help laughing, even amid her depression. “You don’t understand. He actually asked me to stay. And I said no.”
“Oh.” Diana sighed. “So you weren’t…in love with him or anything serious?”
“No, that’s not it. I was in love with him, am in love with him.”
“Then why on earth did you say no?”
“Because of the bookstore.”
“Forgive me, Carrie, but that’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. I’m coming home. I’ll take off work, get a flight and be there tomorrow, and there’s nothing you can do to stop me.”
* * * * *
True to her word, and against Carrie’s will, Diana showed up the next day. And Liz, too! Diana had called their older sister in New Orleans and declared a sisterly emergency.
“You’re both out of your minds,” she told them over a bottle of wine at her apartment late on the evening of their arrival. “I’ll be fine if you’ll just give me, say, a day or two to recover.”
Diana took a sip of her Chardonnay. “Just what did you mean when you told me on the phone that he’d changed the way you looked at life?”
How much should she tell her sisters? Oh, what the hell. Diana would understand, and if Liz was as wild over her new man as she’d sounded at the wedding, maybe she would, as well. “He…opened my mind about sex. He made me experience things I never could have, or would have, with anyone else. I found desires inside myself I never even knew were there. And everything about our week together was so exciting—and also tender somehow—that, well, I just feel changed, that’s all.” She glanced specifically at Diana. “Like I’m no longer the little angel I used to be.”
Diana smiled, and Liz said, “That sounds a lot like what happened with me and Jack. And look how that ended up—he’s my dream guy, he loves me, and we’re getting married.”
“You’re just sour on love,” Diana said, pointing at her, “because of this Jon fiasco. You quit believing in the happy ending.”
Carrie shook her head. “That’s not it. I’m so over Jon. I’m completely in love with Chris.”
Diana’s voice went dry. “And you’re giving him up for a bookstore.”
Carrie sighed. “Maybe you can’t understand because you’ve never built a whole business on your own, but it’s important to me.”
“More important than life-long happiness and hot sex?”
Okay, so the bookstore argument was starting to sound a little crazy, even to Carrie. She took a deep breath. “Maybe it’s about risk. About giving up everything and being afraid it won’t work out. About being afraid I’ll end up with nothing, not even
