“I just don’t think we can risk having something go wrong,” I tell her. She gestures for me to join her up on the table.
“Olive,” she says. “Has anything gone wrong in your lives since Baxter’s been in it?”
I recoil. “Um, basically everything,” I say, listing off his brother’s death, my parents basically kicking me out when I enrolled in college, his mother leaving. “Oh, his dad pretty much disowned him, too. He told him to never come back.”
Julia whistles through her teeth. “Those are some pretty fucked up circumstances. It sounds to me like your relationship has already survived a lot of hard shit…what makes you think you can’t weather some hot sex, too?”
I hadn’t considered things from this perspective before. “I have zero models for a healthy relationship in my life,” I tell her. “I don’t even know how to do that. And before you interrupt me, I don’t think Baxter and I have a healthy level of dependence.” I remind her how he comes over every night for my chicken nuggets and Mac n cheese. “I just wanted to see if having sex—with someone else!!—would help take the edge off.”
She laughs. “Oh, you’ve got an edge, girl.” She shrugs. “I just don’t know if sex with any old athlete is gonna scratch that itch.”
Saturday morning, I’m a mess of nerves. Tim is back to full strength and comes into the training room for one final treatment before his meet. I feel a swell of pride when the trainers make sure to include my name a number of times in the writeup in his file.
“Excited for tonight?” He smiles warmly as he shakes out his long arms. I nod. He gestures toward the stands. “My parents came into town for the meet,” he says. “They wanted to meet you after…”
“Oh,” I say, pausing. “Tim…I have to get to the football game after my shift. I’m so sorry.”
His face falls a little. I grab his hand. “I’m the only family Baxter’s got. I’m headed over there as soon as I get you into your goggles.” I give him a hug for luck and agree to follow him into the pool so he can at least show me to his parents from the deck. He waves energetically, catching his parents’ attention. I wave and smile, timidly. Then he pecks me on the cheek before heading over to the team bench.
I raise a hand to the spot where his lips met my skin, noting that his touch felt warm and familial. Definitely like a brother. Further contrast to the feelings I get whenever Baxter enters the same room as me.
I stand by to watch as he takes the blocks and I smile when the buzzer sounds for his race to begin.
As I walk to the football game, I keep thinking about Tim. I would love to have met his parents and talked with them about Tim’s progress this semester, health wise. He’s become a good friend and I enjoy talking to him. If only he’d given me some notice I could have arranged to meet his family for breakfast or something. Now I’m stuck feeling like I let him down, when making him happy would have meant letting Baxter down.
Thankfully, I make it to the stadium in time for the game to start. I catch Baxter’s eye from the bench as I take my seat along his friends’ family members. Again, I feel a buzzing in my veins just looking at him.
Eventually, I’ll find this spark with someone else, and I’ll know that Baxter will always be here for me, as a friend, as a confidant. As someone who knows my history.
When he takes the field, I suck in my breath, waiting to see if his shoulder will impede his playing. I hear Scotty’s parents mention that there are scouts here from the pros.
I know Baxter is feeling the pressure to perform, feeling like his whole life is on the line. I think he underestimates his other skills. Hell, Bax would have a great career in private security based on how he has treated me for the past 12 years. But I also want his dreams to come true for him. The opposing team quarterback receives the snap and drops back for the pass. I dig my fingers into my lap hoping maybe Alex and the linemen will sack the quarterback, but the pass is up.
The wide receiver snatches it from the air and I see a blur of silver as Baxter streaks toward him. I can practically feel the collision as they both hit the ground, tackled out of bounds almost as soon as the player catches the ball. Is everyone else stuck in eternity to see if Baxter will rise, or is it just me? I focus on my breath, and then a cheer explodes from my mouth as he gets up and jogs back to his position.
Baxter is back in business.
CHAPTER TWENTY
Olive
I don’t stick around after the game to check on Bax. Justin and the staff can look out for him—I’m sure he’s feeling fine after the game because he sends me a huge smile from the bench as SCU seals up another win. I give him a wave, and then I sneak off to start getting ready.
Tia and Elyse meet me at the dorms, excited about helping me perfect my look for tonight. In my heels, black skinny pants, a lacy cami, and a fitted black velvety jacket, I definitely feel sexy.
The heels add to my height, while the tailored clothes accentuate my curves in a way that surprises me. Tia works on my makeup—giving me dark red lips and impossibly long lashes. They slick my hair back into a high ponytail and then they curl the tail. I look and feel elegant and
