“What?” he asks. “Is something going on with Madison?”
I run my palms over my face and my fingers through my hair in frustration. “I messed up. I messed up bad.”
“Oh shit,” he mutters. “Sit down and tell me what you did.” I flop down in a chair, and he curses again. “Don’t tell me you fucked Madison.”
I shake my head. “No, what I did to her was so much worse.”
“Worse than fucking her?”
I nod, unable to say the words just yet.
“Well? What the hell did you do to her?” Roman snaps at me, like he’s getting angry at me for dragging it out, so I decide to just tell him. I do need to talk to someone about it.
“I…I made love to her,” I blurt out.
“You…”
“Three times!” I exclaim, burying my face in my hands.
“You made love to Madison three times?”
I can’t tell if he’s about to give me hell or laugh, so I lower my hands to see his face. “Yes. What the fuck was I thinking?”
“Did you really just use the term made love?”
“Yes! Don’t make me say it again!”
His hand comes up to cover his mouth to hide his smile. “I’m sorry, it’s just, I thought Madison was immune to your…charms.”
“I know, I know. She’s too good for me. I get it, I do,” I tell him. “I wasn’t trying to sleep with her, I swear! I don’t want to get attached to anyone, especially not her.”
“Why especially not her?”
“Because we don’t belong together. She’s all about her career and ruling the world when I barely have the motivation to run the Harley dealership! She’s going to keep living with me, but I can’t sleep with her again, not if she’s got me all twisted like this after one night!”
“Don’t you mean…make love to her again?” Roman asks seriously before he finally gives in and laughs loudly. “Sorry. I’m sorry! It’s just the last thing I expected from you. The step up from fucking to making love is a big deal. You care about her, right?”
“I wish I didn’t,” I mutter.
“You don’t mean that.”
“Yes, I do! It’s going to be my heart on the chopping block in a few days when Madison no longer needs a bodyguard or the MC’s help with Bailey.”
“So, your choices are to keep…making love to her and chance letting those feelings grow until she kicks you to the curb, or not make love to her ever again for your own self-preservation?”
“I wish you would stop calling it that,” I grit out.
“What words should I use since you’re obviously not just fucking her? If you were, you could agree to be fuck buddies for the next few weeks and then go your separate ways.”
“This is karma,” I tell him. “How many women have I carelessly fucked and then turned down when they wanted more? It’s like I’m being paid back for every bad decision I’ve ever made.”
“But it’s not the same really, is it? Does Madison want to keep…sleeping with you?”
“I think so, yeah.”
“So, you’re the one yet again refusing to give her more.”
“Right.”
“It’s your choice, but it’s a pretty stupid one if you turn her down. I don’t think Madison is the type of woman to take rejection very well.”
“I know that. That’s why I don’t know what the fuck to do.”
“Try being honest with her. Don’t forget that she can’t afford to be distracted right now with the election coming up. If she thinks it’s her decision, then maybe things can go back to normal like they were before you…made love.”
“You think it’ll work?”
“God, no,” he says.
“What?”
“I think you’re trying to do the impossible here, Cannon,” Roman explains. “You’re trying to end something before it starts because you think you might get hurt.”
“Think I might get hurt? No, I’m certain that Madison is never going to want to be seen with me in public, at least not as someone she’s dating. So, that leaves, what, sneaking in and out of her place in the morning? That’ll never work.”
“Maybe not,” Roman agrees. “Whatever you do, you can’t hurt her and let her lose focus on winning this election or we’re all fucked.”
“I know that.”
“If you’re so sure that you don’t want to go down the love road with her, then use the prospects.”
“I’m sorry. Use the prospects?”
“Use them as buffers. They’re always around you and Madison, right?”
I nodded. “Apparently I started going down on her in the kitchen the other night when I was drunk while Jake was still there.”
“Jesus, Cannon!” Roman exclaims.
“Thankfully, Madison ran him off before it went too far.”
Roman shakes his head in disapproval. “Don’t get drunk again and keep the prospects around all the time. Then, nothing will happen between you and Madison.”
“Yeah, I guess that could work. But I still hate it.”
“I think it’s the best option you got until you tell Madison how you feel about her and ask her if she could see a future with you.”
“Nope. Not going to happen,” I say as I get to my feet. “Thanks for the talk, Roman.”
“Good luck, Cannon,” he says as I leave him to his work.
It sucks, but I can’t put it off any longer. It’s time for me to go break my parents’ and Hannah’s hearts.
Chapter Thirty
Madison
I kept waiting and waiting for my mother or father to call to talk about the campaign, but as usual, they’ve let me down.
And since my mind needs a break from reminiscing about last night with Cannon, I decide to suck it up and call my dad around two, which should be his lunch break, although he probably didn’t stop to eat today.
As soon as the firm’s receptionist answers, I say, “Hi, this is Madison Monroe calling to speak to my father Benjamin Monroe.”
“Just a moment,” she replies before putting me on hold.
I think Cannon and I had to wait less time in court than I do now, until the woman’s pleasant voice comes back to say, “He’s finishing up an
