“Yeah, I get a little heavy during the winter months. I don’t look fat, do I?” she said looking at her swollen fingers. He was surely to detect that there was something wrong with her like the fact that she was knocked up.
“No, you look radiant, perfect…you know, all the good words,” Nicola said remembering their time together. She also still looked engaged judging the huge diamond that she sported on her left ring finger. Grey was evidently still in the picture.
“You look good too,” she said trying not to break out in a cold sweat.
For Nicola this chance meeting was a perfect time to confront all of the things that he had been battling for over a month. He looked through her with his penetrating eyes and smiled bashfully causing Ivy to swallow hard and feel a tight knot in the middle of her throat.
Why must he be so beautiful, Ivy thought as she tried not to smell his cologne…tried not to focus on the fact that he was sitting so close to her. But she couldn’t ignore his undeniable presence. She exhaled heavily feeling nearly deflated. What was it about this man that she could not fight?
Nicola was far to engulfed in his own feelings to detect what his mere existence was doing to Ivy. As he tried to gather his thoughts, he looked around to make sure that Brooks was out of earshot for what he was about to confess. Then he took her hand and turned to her.
“You…never called.” He felt himself trembling but continued. “And I really wanted you to…call.”
“I know,” Ivy said sighing. If she gave into the Nicola again, she would surely loose Grey. It was better for everyone that she keep her distance although everything in her wanted to reach out for him. “Really, I am truly sorry, but I just didn’t’ see a need to call once Grey and I got back together.” She looked down at her engagement ring.
“You didn’t?” Her words fell on his ears like hot needles. He was almost a hundred percent sure that she had felt something that night, but at this very moment he wasn’t sure.
“No,” Ivy said trying to be strong. If she could just be spiteful enough at that very moment, she could force him away forever. He would never have to know about the baby. He would never have to know that she had thought of him a thousand time since the moment he was last out of her sight.
“You’re lying,” he said searching her face. “You mean to tell me that all of that was just an act.” He saw right through her.
“No, it wasn’t an act. I’m not a slut, Nicola. I just realized when I left there that I was better off with Grey that trying to have something with you,” she said looking away from him. “After I made up my mind about it, there was nothing left to say. We had our moment, and it was then it was over. Please tell me that you didn’t think it was anything more than that.” It was the most painful thing that Ivy had ever made herself say, but feeling the need to push one of the men out of her life, she knew it was her only option. “You were a great release. You helped me clear some things up in my head.” She smiled at him crossly. “It was fun though, right?”
“Right.” Nicola had heard enough. The warmness of her hand was now cold, and he let go with sudden disgust. “Well, if you don’t mind. I am going to go and finish my lunch at the bar.” He stood up. “It wasn’t nice seeing you.” He turned and walked away.
Ivy tried in a frantic desperation to hold her tears back as he turned his back to her. She felt herself collapsing inside. The wounded look in his eyes, accompanied by the impairment in his voice was enough to make her heart stop. And for a moment, it did. She gathered herself and managed to get to the bathroom before her emotional nausea overtook her.
Storming into the stall, Ivy leaned against the wall and began to cry. She had done what she set out to do. She had driven him far away but the absence of his love was tearing through her heart so fiercely that she became weak at the knees. It was true. He did care. She could see it in his eyes. Only there was nothing she could do. Nothing. She held her aching stomach and cried aloud, holding her hands over her mouth to muffle the moans that leaped from her throat.
“Man, I’ve got to get out of here.” Nicola said interrupting Trina and Brooks at the bar as he threw a twenty-dollar bill by his untouched food.
“Are you alright?” Brooks asked concerned.
“No. I’m not,” Nicola said walking off. “I’ll meet you at the truck.”
“Well, I guess she told him,” Trina said eating one of Nicola’s French fries.
“Guess so. What a birthday present, huh?” Brooks said kissing her on the cheek. “Eat this for me, will you. I’ll grab a little something later.”
“First, I better go and check on Ivy,” Trina said seeing the empty booth were Ivy was suppose to be sitting.
“Alright. I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”
Searching for Ivy, Trina walked into the restroom where she found Ivy kneeling over the toilet in the back stall throwing up the little food she had managed to keep down that day.
“You finally told him?” Trina asked rubbing Ivy’s back sympathetically.
“No. I couldn’t. I just wanted to push him away for good,” Ivy said wiping her mouth.
“Why would you want to do something so stupid?”
“I told him that he was just a release and that night didn’t mean anything to me.” Propping herself up on the toilet seat, she wiped her mouth and cheeks. “But it did, Trina. It meant
