Ivy sat down on the couch and took a deep breath. Normally, she was ever the optimist, but her gut feeling told her to prepare for the worse. So, what ever he was about to tell her, she wouldn’t cry. She wouldn’t curse or hit him. She wouldn’t scream. She wouldn’t… Grey sat beside her on the couch and interrupted her in deep thought. His smile had gone and worry laced his face.
Ivy starred at Grey for a moment in his black cashmere turtleneck and lightly starched chinos. She loved his smooth brown chocolate skin clear of any blemish, his strong sculpted jaw line, his adorable dimple that seem to be planted like a star in his left cheek, his smooth black eyebrows, deep dark eyes and his broad shoulders that sprouted out like wings.
“You want to tell me what this is about?” Ivy said looking at the glass on the table.
“How rude of me. Would you like something to drink?” Grey offered politely
“I think that I would prefer to stay sober.”
Grey sighed. There was no need to prolong this moment any longer. “Look, I know it’s late, and you’re tired. But, I wouldn’t have called you over here if it could have waited until tomorrow.”
“It,” Ivy said quietly. Grey’s words frightened Ivy, but she sat patiently, attentively listening.
Grey continued. “It’s just that you know we’ve been going in circles for a couple of weeks now, and when you come over, it seems like I have an attitude with you.” Silence. “It’s seems like I don’t want you here or that I’m being shady. I mean, just the other day, you told me that it seemed like I was acting funny with you.” He touched her leg as he tried to explain. She looked down and back up at him in total confusion.
“Go on,” Ivy said trying to get to the point.
Grey continued, “Damn, I guess what I’m trying to say is that I do acknowledge the fact that something hasn’t been right around here. And I acknowledge the fact that the problem has been me.” He thought taking the blame would lighten the tension, but he was sorely mistaken. Ivy still had a blank look on her face. “It’ just that I am going through something right now. I know you don’t understand, but it’s like this wedding is taking me on a roller coaster ride.” He took a long deep breath. “When we’re together all we ever do is talk about the wedding. What colors we might use? How many brides’ maids should we use? Where is the reception going to be? It makes me wonder am I truly ready for this?” His voice trembled. “Then, I feel trapped after you’re gone. I feel depressed you know…like you’re taking over my life.”
There was a long quiet scream in the room that was accompanied by an occasional crackle of the fireplace. Inside, Grey was too confused to say what he really felt. Afterall, his friend had only hours earlier revealed to him that he was marrying this wonderful creature for all the wrong reasons. Breaking up with her was definitely the right…no the moral thing to do.
“So you said all that to say what, Grey?” Ivy asked interrupting with her voice trembling. She had heard enough of his babbling. What did he want to do…elope?
“I said all that to say that I’m sorry, but we can’t go on. It’s best that we just call it quits now.” Grey tried to avoid making eye contact.
“Because I wouldn’t have unprotected sex with you today?” Ivy’s eyes bucked.
“What?” Grey said appalled. “No.”
“Then what brought all of this on? Why now?” Was she hyperventilating? Oh, God! I can’t breathe, Ivy thought to herself as the room began to swim around her. She stood up and walked over to the fireplace. She needed some room.
“Why not now? Would you prefer that I tell you the day of the wedding? Or better yet marry you, and serve you with divorce papers before our first anniversary?” Grey could also feel the conversation escalading. Calm down, he said to himself. Just calm down and breathe. You can get through this. He coached himself in his mind as he took another shot of the tequila.
“No, I’d prefer you be a damned man about the situation and tell me what’s really going on here, because I don’t believe that its all about the wedding planning or taking over your life. What about counseling? We haven’t even begun to try to hold this relationship together.” Ivy wiped the tears away as quickly as they fell.
“Ivy,” Grey said trying to plead with her seeing that she was loosing her composure.
“You know, I’m just not ready for this conversation,” she said trembling. “I’m not ready to hear that you just wasted five years of my life!” She screamed.
“I never said that I didn’t love you. I’m just confused right now.” Grey tried to reason with her. Standing up, he debated whether to go to her or not.
“Then get unconfused!” Ivy snapped as she turned back toward the fireplace.
“I wish that you would see that there is a bigger picture here?” Grey walked over to her. It was killing him to end what they had so abruptly, but what else could he do? He had messed up enough.
“Oh, I see the bigger picture, Grey!” Her voice rose again, and she realized that she had broken yet another promise to herself. “You don’t love me.” She looked into his eyes as she watched his temper overcome him.
“I do love you. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t take the time. Don’t you see that? Just try to hear what I’m saying to you. Try to see what I’m trying to do.” His voice strained.
“I see that you’ve broken my heart all because you’re scared that you’ll never get laid
