“It’s not complicated. You need to learn to trust me, and I need to know if you could love me again.” He put his turn signal on and waited for traffic to pass before pulling into the parking lot. “I wanted to get all that out of the way so we can just enjoy each other’s company and not worry so much about what comes next. We’re headed in the right direction, Mags. Let’s take our time getting there, just let it unfold as it’s meant to.”
How he’d been able to intuitively tap into her insecurities was a mystery. In the past, Brett had rarely inquired about her feelings—other than how she felt about him—and almost never acknowledged his own. This older version was more sensitive than his younger self, more self-aware in the best sense. This new one had been totally unexpected, and she liked it.
“So. We’re here. Pretty setting, isn’t it? Great view of the bay.” He’d parked at the far end of the lot near a narrow stretch of beach. The day had been mild, the wind light enough to move the sailboats lazily across the water.
“Very.”
He reached over and tucked a stray curl behind her ear. “So we’re good?”
Maggie nodded. “We’re good.”
The restaurant was beautiful, the service attentive, and the food proved to be out of this world.
“Why did you decide to become a police officer?” Maggie asked over their shared dessert, an enormous slice of chocolate cake that the waitress served with two forks. “I don’t remember you ever expressing an interest in law enforcement.”
“I’d never given it a thought. I guess in my testosterone-saturated mind, I thought I’d play football until I was ninety or so, and then I’d just die. I never had a backup plan, never thought I’d need one.” His shoulders slumped just a little. “Until of course I did. Then all of a sudden, I was out of a job. I had no idea what to do with myself. I was in California, living alone in a cottage on the beach. As soon as I got traded, Beth left me and took Chloe with her.” He paused to take a drink from the beer he’d ordered with his scallops. “I met some guys who hung around the beach, taught me how to surf. That’s when I met Holly.”
“Love at first sight?”
“No. Holly was beautiful and young, and I felt old and broken. My ego was shattered, and she built it back up.” He paused, as if debating what to say next. “Okay, here’s the thing. I wasn’t kidding when I said I’d never loved anyone but you. When you left, I felt if you didn’t love me—after all we’d been through—that must mean I wasn’t worthy of being loved. So when someone said they loved me, I figured, there—see, someone does love me. I can’t be that bad if this nice woman loves me. And that’s how I ended up married three times.”
He said it lightly, but Maggie could see the toll it took for him to make that admission.
“I’m so sorry, Brett. I know it sounds trite to say it wasn’t you, it was me, but that’s how it was. I couldn’t stay with you when I was having problems living with myself.”
“And if I hadn’t been so much of a jerk, so focused on myself, I would have understood that. So maybe we should accept the fact we both made mistakes.”
Maggie nodded thoughtfully.
“Okay. So. Why I’m a cop. There was a guy who was in the California Highway Patrol who used to windsurf at Holly’s place. He was into the whole law enforcement thing, serving the public good and all that. The more I got to know him, the more we talked, the more I realized nothing I ever did in my whole life was as important as what he did every day. Then Holly and I broke up, and I didn’t know what to do with myself. Then I found out my dad was dying, and I came home, figuring I’d just stay till the end.” He picked up the spoon next to his plate and tapped it softly on the tablecloth. “Do you remember Chief Hawthorne?”
“Sure. He was the chief of police when we were growing up.”
“He was a good friend of my dad’s, and he visited every week until my dad passed away. He told me they had a vacancy on the force, hadn’t been able to fill it. Suggested that I apply to the police academy. I think it had been in the back of my mind for some time, so when he brought it up, I thought it was a sign. And that’s how I ended up where I am. Patrol officer. Detective. Then chief when the old chief retired.” There was a touch of pride in his voice that made her smile.
“And you like it.” It wasn’t a question.
“I love it. I loved playing football, but don’t think it’s sour grapes when I say I love being a small-town cop. Something inside me settled the day a badge was pinned on my chest.”
She’d seen him in town, talking to the older residents who needed reassurance in their safety as well as the young kids who were inching their way toward trouble. It was such a natural fit for him, and it was obvious he took great pleasure in serving his community.
“I’m glad you found something that makes you happy. The town is lucky to have you.”
“And what about you? What makes you happy?”
“My family, of course. Other than that . . .” She shrugged. “I guess I’m still figuring that out.”
“You were a teacher, right?”
“I was. And I suppose I could become certified in Massachusetts and teach, or substitute if I couldn’t find something full time. But right now, I don’t feel pressured to make any decisions about my future. I want to enjoy the summer with my kids
