“Why?”
“Because I—”
“Don’t say because you’re my grandma. You’re not.” He stared straight ahead, not blinking.
“Well, in one sense, you’re right. But in another . . .”
“You’re not my dad’s mother.”
“I didn’t raise him, that’s true. But I did give birth to him.”
“And you gave him away because you didn’t want him. You abandoned him, and my grandparents had to find him and bring him home because you didn’t want him. You didn’t love him then, so why are you wanting to hang around with him now?”
“Well, that’s a very deep question, Jamey. I can see you’ve been thinking about this, and you deserve an honest answer. So I will tell you the absolute truth.”
“Right.”
“You asked a question. I want to answer. You want to hear it or not?”
After a long moment, he nodded, but he still hadn’t looked at her.
“I did not abandon your father.” She paused. “You’re old enough to understand what adoption means, right?”
“Yeah. It’s when you don’t want your kid, so you give it away.”
“Jamey, I was very young when he was born, and I knew I could not take care of him. I wanted to, but I knew I could not. My parents were not accepting of the situation I was in. Your grandparents wanted him desperately. They were very special people, and I knew they would give him a wonderful home and the happy life he deserved. Things I couldn’t give him when I’d just turned eighteen.”
“You were eighteen?” He frowned.
“Yes. Not much older than you. You think you’d be ready to raise a baby in six more years?”
“That’s not the point.”
“Then tell me what is.”
“You didn’t love him. They were the ones who loved him.”
“I always loved him, even when I didn’t know him.” She touched his arm.
“That doesn’t even make sense.” He pulled away. “My gram was the best.” He began to cry, and Maggie understood this was not about her.
“I know she was,” she said softly. “Your father told me all about her. How wonderful she was. That she was kind and good hearted and how much she loved you and your sister.”
“I loved her and my grandpa. Why did they have to be taken away?”
She put a hand on his back, and this time he made no move to pull away.
“I wish I had an answer for that. There are so many times in your life when you will wonder why this or why that, questions you may never find the answer to.” She felt like crying along with him. “Jamey, Brett and I don’t want to take the place of your grandparents. We never could, and we would never try to. I know how much you loved them and how much you hurt. We are honored they chose to raise our . . .” She had to say it. He had to know how she felt. “That they chose to raise our son. We just want to have a place of our own in your life and in your sister’s life. We don’t want you to ever forget your grandparents. They loved you. But we want to love you, too. We both hope in time you might grow to like us. But whatever happens, I promise you, I will never try to take your grandmother’s place. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
He wiped his face on his bare arm, his nod barely perceptible. They sat in silence and watched the sandpipers run along the waterline and two gulls argue over something one of them had plucked from the sand.
“I’m never going to call you Grandma.”
“I’m never going to ask you to. You can call me whatever you want.”
“Can’t I just call you Maggie?”
“Of course.”
“Are you and Brett married?”
The question caught her off guard. This kid had a lot on his mind.
“No. We thought we would be, long ago, but it didn’t work out that way. I married someone else—Natalie and Grace’s father—and Brett married someone else, too. Alexis’s mother.” Among others, but no need to get into that now. “My husband died a few years ago, and Brett is divorced.”
“So you could be married, if you wanted to be.”
She glanced in his direction. She’d raised two kids. She knew sly when she saw it.
“I think it’s time to get back to the house.” She patted him on the knee. “Your dad is grilling burgers. Are you hungry?”
He nodded. “Yeah.”
They climbed down from the stand and walked back to the house.
“What’s everyone been doing?” he asked.
“Making food. Your sister and Daisy are playing hopscotch with Alexis. And Natalie is watching the concert on TV.”
“Oh, yeah. I heard about that. I wanted to see it. Guess I missed it.”
“Talk to Nat. She recorded it. I’m sure she’ll play it for you later.”
“Why’d she record it? She’s like, old, right?”
Maggie suppressed a grin. Natalie—her baby—old? “You know who DEAN is?”
“Sure. Everyone knows DEAN.”
“Well, did you know Chris Dean is from Wyndham Beach? My friend Emma is his mother. He and Natalie have been friends since they were kids. They’re like this.” She crossed her fingers and held them up.
Jamey stopped dead in his tracks. Maggie smiled and continued up the steps and into the house.
Dinner had been loud in a good way, loud in a way Maggie was not accustomed to. Male voices predominated, even though there were only three guys in the group. Owen had arrived with Emma and had taken his turn at the grill while telling the story of how his great-great-grandfather, Jasper Harrison, had brought the carousel to Wyndham Beach for his terminally ill daughter. He’d wanted to do something that would make her happy every day of what was to be a short life, so he’d had the carousel built, and when she died at the age of thirteen, he shared it with the other children in town to keep her memory alive.
“I never heard that story before,” Liddy remarked. “Huh. That’s very cool.”
After everyone finished eating and all hands volunteered in
