Michael’s words bounced in her ears. She would forgive her, eventually, but now was not that time. She promised she wouldn’t tell their parent’s what she had done, but she owed her. She owed her parent’s. She owed everyone. Josie would ensure Tanya spent the rest of her life repenting. Her parents were so happy; it wasn’t worth telling them the ugly truth. She imagined the look on their faces if they were ever to find out. Her dad would explode. Everything would be even worse.
“My brave girl. My brave, brave girl.” Her mom clutched Tanya close to her at every opportunity she got on the way to the car, and Josie resisted the urge to scoff. “I’m never letting you out of my sight again.”
Being trapped at home with the family, not off traveling the world, would probably be Tanya’s idea of prison, and as close as she would get to being incarcerated. Why couldn’t she just be grateful for what she had? Why did she have to do what she did? Josie couldn’t fathom why, but couldn’t bring herself to ask Tanya for an explanation. No reason she could offer would be good enough.
When they got to the car, their father shoved Tanya’s luggage in the trunk, and even opened the back door for her. “She’s not an invalid dad.” Josie snapped.
“Have some respect, Josie. She’s been through a lot. Not everyone is as strong as you.” Her mom weighed in.
Josie bit down on her lip and dug her nails into the palms of her hands. It took every last bit of restraint not to explode.
“Get in the car. What’s wrong with you?” her mom asked.
“Nothing.” A single word was all she could muster, and she got in the back seat, slamming the car door behind her and yanking at the seat belt.
“Careful.” Her father raised his voice. “This car is new.”
“I know what’s wrong,” her mother announced from the front passenger seat. “Sorry we doubted you, Josie. We still think it was stupid what you did, but you saved your sister’s life and me and your dad will never forget that. Why don’t we take you to that frozen yogurt place you love so much, or that Italian restaurant? You know, the one by the park. You deserve it.”
Frozen yogurt. The words sounded ridiculous. Frozen yogurt wasn’t going to make everything better. She resisted the urge to take her anger out on her parent’s and responded with another one-word answer. “Maybe.” She looked out the window as they drove out of the airport parking lot and let her mind wander. Being in the present was too painful, and she had no idea how she would get past this.
“We still can’t believe what you’ve been through, Tanya. We never gave up hope.” Their mom reached her arm from the front seat and squeezed Tanya’s shoulder.
“Thanks mom.” Tanya held her mom’s hand against her shoulder and smiled at her lovingly. What an actress, Josie thought, looking on at the display. It was going to be so hard to survive this if she didn’t follow Michael’s advice. It had only been a few days and already the anger seemed to have changed her into a different person, a person she didn’t like. It was such an ugly emotion and it wouldn’t change anything. It was too late now. She tried to recall that saying. Anger is like swallowing poison and expecting the other person to die. She repeated the words over and over, trying to believe them, yet it still simmered under the surface, waiting for the worst time to burst out of her.
Chapter Thirty Nine
She had to be close now. It was only supposed to be a couple of miles away from the school. She checked her Satellite Navigation again. The place was so big there was more than one entry point. Finally, finding a place to park up, she leaned over to the passenger seat and nudged Aleksander awake.
“We’re here.” He looked so peaceful, and she felt bad waking him up. She’d picked him up from the airport and they headed straight for the cemetery. The ruffled hair and puffy eyes were the epitome of jet-lag, but there was no time to spare. As she got out of the car and shut the door, Alex stretched his legs. Being cramped on a plane, and then in her little car had taken its toll.
The sunlight caressed her face with its warmth and she looked out across the large expanse of grass and across to the still lake. Rows and rows of gray tombstones stretched into the distance. Some crosses, some rounded. Thick bands in the grass from the mower trails led to a mausoleum standing tall at the far end of the cemetery. The palm trees cast shadows across the perfectly cut grass. It felt peaceful here. It felt right.
She tried to make peace with Tanya, but she wouldn’t let her come here. Josie had done her best to respect Michael’s wishes. They told the police that Tanya had been held against her will by Antonio and they didn’t question this. It was the only way to keep the family together. There was no reason to let her parents feel the pain that came with realizing that someone you cared for could screw you over so utterly. The remorse was obvious. It seeped from Tanya’s pores like alcohol, the day after the night before. It was always there, an unspoken truth between them. The self-serving bravado was gone, and
