He shook his head. "No, I'm not, actually."
"Why else would you give me a bath and then not touch me?"
His brows lifted again. "Well, I didn't know you needed me so badly."
"No, see, you're doing that thing with your voice where you drop it an octave. It sounds like gravel on silk. It makes me want to do things."
"What kind of things?"
I whacked his arm, but he didn't move.
"Nyla, I'm not trying to tease. I'm not trying to torture you. All I’ve ever wanted is your safety and your happiness. That's it. I don't want to do things the wrong way, so I'm going to ask you again to forgive me. I want to do better, because that's all I can give you right now."
The moment the words were out of his mouth, off his lips, made bare for me to see, I wanted to let everything go. I wanted him to just be that bloke that took me on adventures that made us both smile. The man who had me chasing him through a mansion and rolling around on the grass. "I miss you. I love you too. Is that okay to say?"
He threw his head back. "Fuck, yes, woman. Say it. I needed to hear it."
"Well, I do. I miss you so much. And I'm not actually mad that you shot me."
His eyes went wide. "What?"
"I'm mad, but not about that. I'm mad that I haven’t been able to jump back in the game. You guys were keeping things from me, and I hate the secrets. I grew up surrounded by them, and I just can't stand it."
He nodded quickly. "I know. I'm sorry. It didn't even occur to me who your father is and all the secrets he's kept from you."
"You don't know the half of it. In the guest bedroom, you know there's that box, the case that Theroux wanted me to look at. I'm trying to unravel the threads right now, and it's complex."
"Well, I know you can work it out."
"You honestly, seriously believe in me, don't you?"
"Without hesitation. You are one hundred percent my first choice."
"What are we going to do with each other?"
His smirk broke into a full grin as he slid his hands from the counter to my hips and then pulled me forward. "How about we start with loving each other? I am so foolishly in love with you, and I fucked up not telling you before now. I was trying to keep you safe, but I recognize that all that says is that I don't trust you. Which probably reminds you of before. That's not my intention, and that's not what I want. I do trust you. And I'm going to do my best to show you that from now on."
"I appreciate it. And I love you too."
His kiss was easy and soft, and everything that I wanted. What we'd done earlier tonight was hurried and frenetic. This kiss… this was more of a caress. One that my bruised heart desperately needed.
* * *
East
She was giving me another chance, another shot to get this right.
I didn't know why it was so difficult. My whole life had been about what I could control, and obviously that wasn't Nyla. I didn't even want to control her. I liked her better when she was sassy and telling me what for. I liked it better when she showed some spunk.
You're a masochist.
Probably. Either way, I tugged her onto my lap and reached up to ghost a soft kiss over her lips. "You're amazing, you know that?"
"Yes. I do. I was wondering if you knew that."
I sighed, bringing her head down gently so our foreheads would meet. "I do know that, and I should probably tell you more often."
"Yes, yes, you should." She adjusted her hips over mine, and I groaned at the contact. "Jesus, Ny. I'm not going to make it. You are legitimately killing me. And I am so happy about it."
She giggled softly. "I'm not trying to kill you." Her gasps and moans as she rocked ever so slightly over my erection told me she was slowly killing herself too. We both needed this. We both wanted this.
It was a stark contrast to what had happened at the restaurant. This was a slow seduction of light kisses, nuzzled noses, and soft, breathy pants.
My hand tightened ever so slightly on her hip, and I lifted my face up so our lips would meet. "I'm a prick. You'll have to forgive me. I just want to keep you safe. And the only way I know how is to make you comply. But I know that's wrong."
"Uh-huh. Wrong. So wrong."
She adjusted her hips again, this time rotating around and around and... "Oh, fuck."
The zinging electricity up my spine told me I was in trouble.
Any moment now, I was going to need to come.
I had already come once tonight. And in mere moments she had me on the brink again. What alchemy was this? Who was this woman who so completely owned me?
It wasn't long before we found our rhythm. My hand gently guiding her hips back and forth and over. As her hips undulated over mine, our lips caught every now and again. And I would slide my tongue into her mouth, gently fucking it with my tongue the way I wanted to use my dick. Against my lips, she murmured my name and little whispered declarations of, "God yes. I love this."
I loved it too.
You love her.
And that was what this felt like. Love. Something I had zero experience with and was more than a little terrified of fucking up. But Nyla Kincade felt like love. Like the thing I had denied myself for so long, and damned if I didn't want to hold on to her forever.
My hand snuck up the hem of her sweater again, and my fingertips skimmed over her skin, lighting up her nerve endings. I loved to
