Firestar: Where are all these laptops coming from? Do you breed them from eggs in a hatchery or what?
Icosahedron: Everyone around here has at least four old computers sitting in a closet because they don’t want to have to pay to get rid of them. And they think because they’re old they’re not usable, but I upgrade the memory and put Linux on them and you can definitely use them for internet stuff.
Marvin: Do you steal them?
Icosahedron: Of course not. I don’t have to. People give them to me. And then I upgrade them and sell them.
I don’t think you’re going to be able to sell cats, LBB. There’s not as much demand.
CheshireCat: There is always demand on CatNet! Take lots of pictures!
Icosahedron: Speaking of using computers to break the rules, LBB, I’ve figured out how to hack your school’s robot. There’s a USB port you want to stick the thumb drive in.
LittleBrownBat: That doesn’t sound too hard.
Icosahedron: The catch is you need to remove a panel to get to the port and it’s screwed on with tamper-resistant screws.
Marvin: Which kind?
Icosahedron: Septawing. The screws look like drunk seven-pointed stars.
Marvin: I have one of those screwdrivers. You can totally order them online.
LittleBrownBat: I’m not allowed to give out my address.
Icosahedron: Well, I’ll send you a link to the files you should put on a WingItz Internet Everywhere thumb drive. It has to be that brand, because those can also be used as a data connection. I mean, or one of the off-brands that does the same thing. If you can get the panel off, you just stick the thumb drive into the USB port and you’re done. The robot will actually let me know once it’s ready for someone else to give answers.
Marvin: Put the panel back on when you’re done so no one notices.
Icosahedron: I’m sure she’d have figured out that bit by herself, Marvin.
Firestar: Would it help if I ordered the screwdriver? And mailed it to you? So you’d only have to give your address to me?
LittleBrownBat: If we get
any
mail here my mom will
freak out.
Hermione: Well if she freaks out and moves you, mission accomplished, right?
LittleBrownBat: If she takes my laptop away, I haven’t got an Ico selling replacements at my school.
Firestar: What if I ship it to Rachel?
She sounds pretty cool.
Then she could give it to you at school, right?
LittleBrownBat: Huh.
Maybe.
I’ll let you know.
8
Steph
Technically, I do know people sleep with cats, but I’ve never slept with one before. This cat has taken over the end of my bed where I normally put my feet, but when I try to scoot my feet down there, he scoots out of my way and then cuddles up against my calves, which isn’t so bad. Especially since he’s purring.
It’s very weird, and I’m still a little worried I’ll kick him in my sleep, but it’s also nice. He’s warm and heavy, and I can feel his purrs even through my blanket.
Sometime after midnight, I start to worry he’ll have to pee and he’ll pee on my bed or somewhere else very inconvenient. I open my laptop and get back on CatNet. CheshireCat is still on, along with NocturnalPredator, who I don’t run into much since she tends to be on at four in the morning.
“Do I need to worry about this cat peeing on my bed?” I ask.
“Cats can hold their pee for a very long time,” CheshireCat replies. “I wouldn’t worry about it. Just let him out in the morning and he will pee outside.”
“You shouldn’t let cats roam,” NocturnalPredator says.
“I’m going to let CC explain the situation with the cat to NP,” I say, and I close up my laptop and go back to bed.
The cat wakes me up again a few hours later; he’s coughing. Wait, no, he’s puking.
I get online again. CheshireCat is still on. “My cat is throwing up,” I say. “Please tell me I don’t need to take it to the vet, because there’s no way I’m going to be able to take it to the vet.”
“Cats throw up all the time,” CheshireCat assures me. “It’s probably just a hairball.”
“I always figured a hairball looked like a ball,” I said. “A ball made of hair.”
“Hairballs actually look like slimy throw-up with pellet-shaped hair bits mixed in,” CheshireCat tells me.
That’s exactly what this looks like, so I clean it up with some paper towels and go back to bed.
Fifteen minutes after that, I hear my mother moving around and realize that she’s puking. I get online again, and CheshireCat reassures me that there is absolutely no possible way that the cat could have infected my mother with anything, but that I might want to scrub my hands the next time I touch anything in the bathroom because if my mom has a stomach bug, I could definitely catch it from her.
When I get up in the morning, CheshireCat is still online. “What if he doesn’t come back?”
“If he doesn’t come back, that probably means he had a real home and went back to it. If he doesn’t have a home, he will definitely come back to you because you fed him.”
I pick up the cat, who snuggles in my arms and purrs. I feel pretty bad about evicting him, but for the litter box issue alone I can’t leave him in my room all day. Plus, he might scratch on the door or something and alert my mother. I pet the cat’s head and say, “Come back tonight, okay, kitty?” and then deposit him gently on the porch roof and close my window.
Mom’s bedroom door is shut. Not surprising she’s sleeping in if she’s feeling lousy. I drag the chair out of the way of the front door myself and lock up behind me as quietly as I can.
It’s not until I’m outside and on my way to school that I wonder if CheshireCat ever sleeps.
Animal science class takes everyone
