Tears formed at the corner of my eyes, and she wrapped me up in another big hug. I cried softly into her shoulder while she consoled me for a moment and then pulled me away to stare into my face.
“Come on,” she said. “No more tears. This is going to be fun! Let’s go get something to eat in the kitchen.”
It was nice to have a full kitchen again. I had only a couple of things in the tiny fridge at the hotel, and I shoved them into hers altogether. Considering my meals at the hotel were all either ordered in or cooked in a microwave, I looked forward to a lunch at a dining room table, cooked on a stove. It was a little sliver of home. The parts of home I enjoyed, at least.
Jordan was coming out of the bedroom while Hannah cooked, and he smiled at me as he sat down. Claire was asleep in their room, and the door was left open so they could hear her if she cried. I peeked around the corner and could see her sleeping like an angel. A soft smile spread across my lips.
“I’ll bring her out when she’s awake,” Hannah said.
“She’s just so pretty,” I said. “It’ll be nice to hang out with her. Oh, that reminds me, I have the night off, so if you guys want to cancel the babysitter, I can look after her.”
“Oh, you don’t have plans?” Jordan asked. “We wouldn’t want you to feel obligated.”
“No, not at all,” I said. “I’d love to help.”
From the bedroom, the baby started crying, and Hannah looked over to Jordan while she cooked. He nodded and got up to go get her. A few moments later, while I was stuffing my face with the fantastic chicken Caesar salad Hannah made, he came back, baby in his arms.
“Hey, everybody,” Jordan half whispered. “Somebody didn’t want to stay napping with all the excitement.”
I held out my hands for her, and Jordan grinned. He brought her over and sat her in my arms, and I looked down into her tiny, happy face.
“Hello there, little Claire,” I said. “You are just the cutest.”
It was nice holding my little baby cousin, and I was sure I was going to enjoy playing with her and spending time with her as she grew up. However, it did make me think about my future. About how I wasn’t sure I could ever be a mom, especially now. Not with the things I wanted to do or the sudden upheaval of my life and the destitution I currently found myself in. It was just too much.
“Are you sure you don’t mind?” Hannah asked. “If you’re really okay with it, I’ll call Greta. But only if you’re sure. We don’t want you to feel like you are becoming a live-in nanny or anything.”
“Seriously, it’s fine,” I said. “I want to.”
“Thank you, Chloe,” Jordan said. “Hey, babe?” he asked, looking at Hannah. “We only have an hour before we need to be there. Why don’t you let me get the dishes and you get ready?”
“Okay,” she said, wiping her hands with the dish towel. Then she came over and pressed a kiss to little Claire’s head and then another one to the top of mine. “Thank you again, Chloe.”
“No problem.” I smiled.
It was about seven, and little Claire was raring to go. She was a happy baby and very babbly. I enjoyed playing with her and just holding her in general, but she seemed to want to lie on the floor and occasionally scoot across the carpet. The way their living room was set up, it was three couches that created a kind of natural barrier so the baby couldn’t escape if someone was watching her.
I flipped on the television for sound and put on a cooking show while she wiggled about. I pulled open my phone to scroll through my newsfeed for a moment when I heard a knock on the door. I expected it was likely Greta, who might not have gotten the memo that she wasn’t needed for the night, but then realized she would have had to have been there much earlier. When I got to the door, I peeped through the hole and saw, much to my surprise, Matt standing on the other side. I opened it for him, and he smiled.
“Hey,” he said. “Mind if I come in?”
“Sure. Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, everything’s fine. You got babysitting duties tonight?” he asked.
“Yup,” I said. “Your niece is adorable.”
“She is,” he said. “Where is she?”
I led him back around to the open floor between the couches, and he sat down beside her, tickling her side and in general getting her attention. My ovaries nearly wept at the sight.
“So, I wanted to talk about our idea again, if it was okay,” he said.
“Sure.” I sat back down on the couch to watch them. He picked her up and was making silly faces at her as she giggled.
“I got a call from my mom, and I think it’s a great idea. I know we said we’d take a few days to think about it, but I think I know. After that call especially.”
I shrugged. “Maybe,” I said. “It could be a fun idea, I just don’t know if I can pull off being a wife, you know? It’s a lot of pressure, and living like that is such a huge change, I don’t know if it would work.”
“Well, you don’t have to think about it that way,” he said. “It’s only a marriage on paper. We could keep living our own separate lives if we wanted. I mean, we already work together and have different days off usually, so we could go kind of be our own people.”
I nodded and watched as he laughed with the baby when she gurgled. It was so adorable watching them together that it was pushing me to think about things I really
