There was mention of the endless search for acting opportunities. Cattle calls, getting work as extras, and hand delivering photo portfolios to agents across the city, in the hope that one of them might take her on. She talked on and on about not being pretty enough, or sophisticated enough, or knowledgeable enough about her craft. She wondered if she should take an acting class, because there were dozens of them springing up everywhere in the West End. The sheer number of girls like her doing exactly what she was doing stole much of her initial optimism.
One entry captured the wonder the young woman felt at the beginning of her career.
30th January
Tansy and I had our first experience of real film-making today. We went out to Pinewood Studios to be extras in a film called The Ipcress File. It stars Michael Caine, of all people! The studio is 20 miles from Soho. It took a train and bus trip before dawn to get us there, but it was well worth it. Getting dressed up in costumes, catching glimpses of the stars, seeing just what it was like behind the scenes of a film, all of it was just so exciting. Well worth the hanging about for most of the day and being ordered around like we were imbecile children.
Did you know the mark of a good extra is their ability to remain unremarkable? If they are, then they get to be in more than one scene, which is more money in their pocket. I must have mastered ‘unremarkable’ well because I get to go back tomorrow, while Tansy doesn’t. She was spitting chips all the way home on the train.
The studio lot was very impressive. It was a massive conglomeration of warehouses and barn-type buildings covering several acres, all set behind a magnificent Victorian mansion called Heatherden Hall. It was so exciting to see whole streets recreated on the sets with the lights and sound booms just hanging out of camera range.
But it was exhausting. It will be an early night tonight I’m afraid.
Adie paused to experience vicariously the excitement of visiting a movie studio as a participant. For any girl, that would have to have been a heady experience; but for a girl who was obsessed by movies, it would have been doubly thrilling.
She couldn’t wait to read more…
Chapter 9
The thrill of first discovery dwindled into more mundane entries after that. They dealt mainly with the endless search for a way into the industry. One entry did make her smile, though. And squirm a little.
12th February
Oh, dear Lord, how utterly embarrassing! Today I braved public outcry by wearing one of the mini-dresses Georgie made me. I thought that if an agent saw that I was a thoroughly Mod young woman, he might be more interested in me.
It was a baby-blue A Line frock with a lace collar, and it ended just above my knees. My hip-length white wool jacket was supposed to keep me warm. But it wasn’t nearly enough. Little did I know of the impracticalities of wearing a short skirt in the coldest month of the year. It was utterly freezing! And though I wore tights, it wasn’t nearly enough.
On top of the cold, I had to deal with a number of outraged stares and lecherous comments as I walked through the West End. I felt like Lady Godiva, riding naked through town on the back of a horse. Or worse, like a woman of ill repute. And it was all for nothing. No one of importance got to see my beautifully fashionable apparel.
Georgie, who has to wear short skirts and the new knee-high boots when she dances at the Go-Go club, told me I was making a fuss over nothing. The surest way to lose the interest of agents and other influential people was to appear shy about your body’s allure. I need to own my sexuality and use it to attract attention. The film-industry is no place for prissy misses. That was her word for me. A Prissy Miss.
Is she right? Am I caught up in old-fashioned morality that belongs in the past? If the last war taught us anything it was that women could do almost anything a man can. And if men are free to take sexual pleasure wherever they chose, then why shouldn’t a woman? After all, I am on the pill. I don’t have to worry about getting pregnant. And I’m not a virgin. So why do I behave like some innocent ninny who doesn’t understand a woman’s true power? The greatest actresses of our time knew how to project sexual magnetism. You can’t do that without intimate knowledge of your own body.
One night, Georgie explained how a woman can achieve sexual pleasure from touching herself. I tried not to be outraged and embarrassed when she explained the details. Clearly, I might not be a virgin, but I still have a lot to learn in that regard.
I have so much to learn about a great many things.
A few days later Adie got a better impression of Georgie’s work as a Go-Go Dancer at The Den and her relationship with her ex-husband.
14th February
Georgie came home from work an hour ago in tears. I heard loud, anguished crying. It was usually only her ex-husband and her son who made her cry like that.
Although I didn’t want to intrude, I felt that it was the mark of
