She couldn’t believe how close she’d come to wrapping her arms and legs around Noah and dragging him down for a kiss. It was only the thought of how embarrassed she’d be if Noah rejected her that stopped her. He might have gotten as aroused as she had during their pretend tussle—because there’d been no mistaking the hard-on pressing against her—but from how hesitant he’d been to get on the floor with her in the first place—not to mention how fast he wanted to get away from her afterward—it was obvious he didn’t want their relationship going any further.
To say she was hurt and disappointed was the understatement of a lifetime. Which was probably insane. She had no business even thinking they had a chance, not with all the crap stacked against them. With his job as a SEAL and her schedule as a writer, there was no way this could work. They both knew it.
But if that was the case, why did she feel so crappy about it?
Once the water was at the perfect temperature, Peyton opened the bottle of shower gel and squeezed some of it into her hand. The scent of pineapples and coconut filled her nose as she ran the fragrant suds over her arms and down her legs.
Being on the floor with Noah earlier had been the closest she’d been to having sex in a while. Her desire had only intensified when he’d rolled over and pinned her hands to the floor. She’d never been one for kinky stuff in the bedroom, but that subtle show of dominance had gotten her seriously hot and bothered. Even now, she was getting tingly in all the right places merely thinking about it.
And if the bulge in his pants offered any indication, Noah had been as aroused as she was.
She rinsed off the soap, letting her hands linger on her breasts for a moment before gliding down to the juncture of her thighs. She was about half a second away from pleasuring herself when she remembered that she wasn’t in her bathroom at home and that Noah was down the hall in the living room.
Stifling a moan at the thought of Noah knowing she was touching herself, Peyton shut off the water and stepped out of the shower. The towel made her already sensitive nipples ache even more and she couldn’t resist giving them a squeeze as she dried off. Letting down her hair, she ran a brush through it, wrapped the towel around her body, then slipped stealthily into the hallway and the bedroom beyond. She changed into her usual shorts and tank top, then went out to say goodnight to Noah.
The TV was on ESPN, but the volume was turned down to almost nothing and Noah seemed more interested in the phone in his hands than SportsCenter. He must have caught sight of her, because he looked up, and Peyton was keenly aware of his gaze as she walked into the kitchen and grabbed a glass from the nearest cabinet. She messed with the controls on the front of the fridge, getting crushed ice, then filling the rest of the glass with water. Out of the corner of her eye she saw him watching her, his attention making her suddenly warm all over.
Peyton stopped at the archway between kitchen and living room, leaning her shoulder there and gazing at Noah with a casualness she didn’t really feel. Hadn’t she come out to say good night? Why was she standing here practically blushing from the heat of Noah’s smolder?
“Did the writing go well?” he asked, leaning forward to place his cell phone on the coffee table. He was still wearing his shirt and dress slacks and Peyton couldn’t remember when she’d ever seen a man look so sexy.
Peyton nodded, not interested in talking about her book. Not when there were other things—much better things—to discuss.
“Did you want something to eat?” he asked, his expression betraying his confusion at her silence. “I know it’s late, but I have some frozen pizza if you want to pop it in oven.”
She took a sip of water before answering. “No, I’m good. If I tried to eat anything this late, I’d never fall asleep.”
He nodded and silence filled the space around them again. But it was a comfortable silence, at least for her. She could stand there looking at him for hours and not feel the need to say anything.
But that would only be a waste of both of their times, wouldn’t it?
Noah had told her he wanted to see if they could be more. Then he’d told her the last thing he wanted to do was let her get hurt by falling for him when she wasn’t ready for what it meant to be with a man like him. He’d been the one brave enough to put it out there for her. He’d only started pulling back when it seemed like she wasn’t going to reciprocate with the same level of bravery. Like she wasn’t willing to take a chance.
If she wanted to see where this could go with Noah, she was going to tell him that. And she needed to do it now.
“I want to give us a chance,” she said softly, then hurried on, hoping the right words would find a way to come out. “I’m scared of falling for you and then finding out that I’m not strong enough to deal with everything that comes with that. But I’m even more terrified of letting this slip away and then spending the rest of my life regretting it. So, if you’re willing to give it a shot, then so am I.”
Noah didn’t say anything, and for one horrifying moment, Peyton was sure she’d read the entire situation wrong. That Noah had backed
