But the good news is, hitting a wall can be your ticket to freedom because it forces you to change course and to do it now.
A friend in the computer industry saw the wall coming. He could have denied reality (the way many do) and kept moving forward until he crashed. But he made the decision to hire two market researchers to figure out what was next in his business. Their answers encouraged him to shift markets, and today he’s far more successful in a completely different field.
A client of mine thought he was doing great until doctors discovered he had developed cancer of the esophagus. His illness, treatment, and recovery forced him to leave his business and literally took him out of everything for more than four years. Thinking his career was over, he nearly gave up. But when a surprise recovery jolted him, he realized the experience had completely changed his perspective on life. As a result, he’s transformed his thinking about his purpose for living, and it’s catapulted him to an entirely new level of success.
Whatever your wall—getting fired, losing your home, receiving the medical diagnosis you’ve dreaded, closing your business, bankruptcy, whatever—it doesn’t have to be the end. As terrible as the wall may be, you can overcome it if you use the moment to jolt you back to reality.
While transitions are admittedly uncomfortable and disruptive . . . job insecurity or loss can provide a life-changing jolt.
—BECKY BEAUPRE GILLESPIE AND HOLLEE SCHWARTZ TEMPLE, ABA JOURNAL
I have a distant family member who is an ocean-going captain of some of the largest oil tankers in the world. He pilots the behemoths from port to port, satisfying countries thirsty for oil. Early in my career, I produced a video presentation for a major oil company and was amazed at the sheer size of the vessels. Fully loaded, they sink deep into the ocean and take enormous power to propel forward. Over dinner one night my relative told me that it takes up to fifteen miles to turn a fully loaded tanker. In fact, they have to plan a turn at least twenty miles out because it’s just so heavy it takes that long to make the change.
Hearing that fact made me realize that changing major companies, big labor unions, or any massive organization is nearly impossible unless people realize that jolt has to happen and it has to start now.
And that’s exactly where you need to be. As long as there’s a way out, a second chance, or another alternative, you’ll never be committed enough to change. You have to face the fact that circumstances won’t change until you change. Family members won’t change until you change. Your job won’t change until you change. And your future will never change until you make the decision to change.
Embrace the wall. Let it help you focus your mind and face the real truth about your situation.
But how do you face the truth? Sometimes, the key lies in your past.
» JOLT #3
THE REAL TRUTH
ABOUT CHANGE
Letting Go of Your Past
Disconnecting from change does not recapture the past. It loses the future.
—KATHLEN NORRIS, WRITER
Keeping score of old scores and scars, getting even and one-upping, always make you less than you are.
—MALCOLM FORBES, PUBLISHER, FORBES
The third step toward jolting your life is to face the truth and let go of your past. Significant numbers of people never change their lives because they just can’t let go of history. Some can’t forgive people who abused them, cheated on them, lied to them, fired them, or more. Perhaps you suffered from childhood abuse and can’t bring yourself to forgive and let it go. Perhaps you were cheated financially or experienced business failure and refuse to get past the experience. Perhaps you discovered something as an adult about your parents or spouse that has changed your perspective of your family.
Perhaps it’s not being cheated or abused by others; it could be your own personal failures. I recently spoke to a large business gathering in Los Angeles, composed of leaders from a wide range of companies. During my talk the audience wrote questions on index cards for me to answer at the end of the event. The single most asked question was: How can I overcome a failure from my past and be successful again?
That seminar taught me just how many people live under the bondage of past failure.
Whatever your particular experience, you can’t feed it, ignore it, or deny it. You have to forgive and let it go. Ultimately, when you refuse to forgive— for any reason—it only hurts you. Someone said that not being able to forgive is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die. I’ve had things stolen from me, money cheated from our company, lies told about me, and more, but it didn’t take much to realize the longer I focused on it, the more bitter I became.
» IN THE DIGITAL AGE, YOU CAN’T HIDE FAILURE.
Google isn’t just about search, it’s about reputation management. The river of information that flows online is a tsunami, and whatever failure you’ve experienced in your past will show up in a Google search. So get used to it. Today we need to embrace our pasts and live more transparent lives than ever. Even more important, we need to stop looking in the rearview mirror and instead concentrate on the road ahead.
I know one pastor who early in his career was forced out of a church because a leading church member felt the pastor had slighted him. It was an insignificant and completely innocent act on the part of the pastor, but the petty church member was enraged and used his influence in the church to have the board eventually dismiss the pastor. It was wrong, but the pastor was booted out of a church
