But man, it would have been awesome.
I dread the thought of going to bed right now, to lie next to the man I once cautiously planned a future with in my head before one was planned for us. I suddenly remember I have fresh laundry folded on the living room couch. Grabbing my cell phone, I tiptoe over to my favorite dress. It’s just warm enough outside for the paisley boho dress that makes me feel ten years younger. I call Tosha.
“Nat?” She’s clearly in a bar.
“Where are you? I’m coming to meet you for a drink.”
“Woo! Praise the Lord, Natalie Collins is busting out! I’m at The Monkey Bar, you snit, get your ass over here.”
Thank God I can walk there, I’ve got some drinking to do.
Half a block and a world away, I find Tosha smoking outside. Ditching her conservative professional wardrobe, she’s wearing an almost too-short sleeveless black dress with ridiculously high red pumps. I love her.
“And just how often do you and your sexy-ass girlfriend come drinking a thousand feet from my apartment?” I hug Liz—Tosha’s girlfriend—first. She’s wearing red skinny jeans and a black tank. They match but I don’t mention it. They’d kill me.
“A few nights a week. You know that.” Tosha smacks my butt as we head inside to the glorious noise of anything but toddler screams and marriage cries.
Table of Contents
Dedication
White (Carrie)
Chapter Two: The First Hour
Are you the wife? (Carrie)
A dream? (Ray)
Chapter Three: The Second Hour
Nothing to play with (Carrie)
A thousand times worse (Ray)
Chapter Four: The Third Hour
Life is cheap (Ray)
Chapter Five: Nine Months Ago (First Date)
Are we doing okay? (Ray)
Snazzy (Carrie)
Chapter Six: Nine Months Ago (Shadows)
Shut up. Kiss me. (Ray)
Um… blueberry (Carrie)
Chapter Seven: The Fifth Hour
No respect at all (Ray)
Routine (Carrie)
Chapter Eight: The Sixth Hour
All that was left (Carrie)
It’s Doctor Babe to you (Ray)
Chapter Nine: Eighteen Months Ago (The Comet of Badakhshan)
Good one, man (Ray)
Comet (Ray)
I’m moving, damn it (Ray)
Chapter Ten: The Seventh Hour
She can have the belt (Carrie)
Chapter Eleven: Eight Months Ago
Not everybody gets a second chance (Carrie)
She’s Deep (Carrie)
Chapter Twelve: Eight Months Ago (New York)
Tell the Army I said hi! (Carrie)
Just a guy from Southie (Ray)
Chapter Thirteen: Eight Months Ago (Parting)
Forever (Carrie)
Chapter Fourteen: The Eighth Hour
Half-Cocked (Ray)
I’ll go to hell with him (Carrie)
Chapter Fifteen: The Ninth Hour
You can’t help Ray anyway (Carrie)
Chapter Sixteen: The Tenth Hour
Shut up. Yes I did (Ray)
I’m waiting for you (Carrie)
Leave my sister alone (Ray)
Chapter Seventeen: The Eleventh Hour
Not over yet (Carrie)
Sarah was gone (Ray)
Chapter Eighteen: Seven Months Ago
Little bits (Carrie)
Chapter Nineteen: Six Months Ago
Falling (Ray)
The Red Queen (Carrie)
Free to go (Ray)
Chapter Twenty: Six Months Ago (Two)
Don’t look back (Carrie)
Out of your system (Ray)
Chapter Twenty-One: Six Months Ago (Three)
My life is falling apart (Carrie)
Would it help if I got out and pushed? (Ray)
My Home (Carrie)
Chapter Twenty-Two: The Twelfth Hour
You need to know (Carrie)
Something to hope for (Ray)
You look like death (Carrie)
Chapter Twenty-Three: The Eighteenth Hour
Just ignore them (Carrie)
You’re awake (Ray)
I don’t see how (Carrie)
Chapter Twenty-Four: Four Months Ago
Including me (Ray)
No more questions (Carrie)
Well, did you? (Ray)
Chapter Twenty-Five: Four Months Ago (Two)
Come to Washington (Carrie)
How come your girl just throws pillows? (Ray)
I can make this whole thing go away (Carrie)
Chapter Twenty-Six: Three Months Ago
It’s a secret (Ray)
Why can’t I just wear shorts and a t-shirt? (Carrie)
Chapter Twenty-Seven: Three Months Ago (Two)
They’re coming (Ray)
It ain’t right (Carrie)
Chapter Twenty-Eight: The Twentieth Hour
Fading (Ray)
I don’t either (Carrie)
Let’s play army (Ray)
Almost toxic (Carrie)
Chapter Twenty-Nine: Four Days Ago
We ready? (Carrie)
Grounds for an appeal (Ray)
Chapter Thirty: Four Days Ago (Two)
Sherman went nuts (Carrie)
What about you, college boy? (Ray)
It’s … a letter (Carrie)
Chapter Thirty-One: The Twenty-Fourth Hour
Is this your real hand? (Ray)
What are they telling you? (Carrie)
What I had to do (Ray)
Chapter Thirty-Two: The Last Hour
You tell the truth (Carrie)
I wish (Ray)
Epilogue
The thing I’d been waiting for (Ray)
Author’s Note
Copyright
In The Stillness by Andrea Randall
