I know many of these things sound too idealistic—stuff that newspapers and books will often preach about—but these are the truths that help you along the way as a young wife, mother, professional, and a member of a larger community.
Often times I am asked about my own attitude towards wealth and what I taught my own children about it. I taught you that wealth is not something to be ashamed of or to keep away from. You are a trustee of the wealth given to you by your parents and by the Lord. Don’t hoard your wealth. Instead, live the life you want with the wealth you have been blessed with, but also make it beneficial for the good of the larger community. Share your prosperity. That is what I learnt while growing up and that is what I am confident you will do too. I am joyous when I see how involved you are in the various projects that we run in Rajasthan to provide good quality education, clean drinking water, healthcare, and employment for women.
Nandini, I know how much you enjoy your work; but while following your career, also give your family more of yourself along the way. The role of a spouse is to bring balance to the relationship. It also means respect for your partner. I respect what your mother does and I have the self-confidence to take pride in her achievements. A marriage is not about proving to be better than your partner. If your husband’s work takes him to another country, I would wish for you to follow him. Your child and your husband should take precedence in this phase of your life.
Now that you are a mother, I want to tell you about the power of sacrificing for your children. There is really no substitute for devoting time to your children. If you want to bring them up as good human beings, set an example for them by living the life that you want them to follow and, above all, loving them unconditionally. I have always lived my life keeping in mind one seminal principle: Do only those things that make my children proud of me and avoid the stuff that will make them hang their heads in shame. Gangsters and underworld dons wield enormous power and have loads of money but I can guarantee you, their children are not proud of them.
As a young man, I gave time to my family and I continue to do so today. You know I’m not too fond of partying and my best moments are the ones I spend in the company of my loved ones. Nandini, our time on this earth is limited, so learn to prioritize and organize your days in order to maximize that time. Twenty-four hours is sufficient time and if you organize things properly, there is a lot you can get done within this time. Technology has made it easier for a lot more to be achieved in the same number of hours. I am able to do so much more with my time today than I could, thirty years ago.
Nandini, as I grow older, what gives me immense joy is spending time with myself and introspecting.
I never think ahead. I believe that if you just keep on doing the right thing, the results of your labour will follow soon after. You cannot control the results, but you can control what you are doing. It is your actions that will determine the results.
Let me end with my favourite lines here. There is a reason why these have become my personal favourite and our corporate credo.
You are what your deep, driving desire is
As your desire is, so is your will
As your will is, so is your deed
As your deed is, so is your destiny
(Taken from the Brihadaranyaka Upanishad)
Love,
Papa
Amit Chandra
mit Chandra, Managing Director of Bain Capital Advisors, a leading global private investment firm in India, hailed from a middle-class family which did not have any disposable income. But he is today involved in philanthropic activities, in a country where charity as a way of life is yet to catch on.
Chandra, one of corporate India’s head honchos, tasted success at a relatively young age, heading DSP Merrill Lynch in his early thirties. And yet, he felt a void in his life that left him restless and unfulfilled. It was then that he turned to Vipassana, an ancient Buddhist form of meditation, to figure out what was missing.
When he emerged from the period of silence that Vipassana requires of its practitioners, he had the answer: he wanted to do more for the community around him and give back from the riches that he had gathered on the journey to the top echelons of corporate life. Chandra is today a patron and a member of the board of several of India’s most effective and well-known NGOs, doing remarkable work in the field of education for the underprivileged and for children with special needs, such as The Akanksha Foundation schools in Mumbai and Pune, The Research Society for the Care, Treatment and Training of Children in Need of Special Care, the Jai Vakeel School for the Mentally Challenged, Give India, the YMCA Boys’ Home and Vocational Training Centre in Andheri, and the Tata Medical Centre and Cancer Patients Aid Association in Kolkata.
A young Chandra learnt the merit of sharing one’s resources at a very young age from his mother who ran a very frugal household and gave her limited resources to the needy ones in their community. A family of academicians—his uncle was the head of the National Council for Educational Research and Training (NCERT) and his brother-in-law, Nitin Nohria, is currently the Dean of Harvard Business School—they also believed in sharing knowledge. Both he and his
