I wiped away tears that had fallen from my eyes.
“If I had known, or had any inkling she was even contemplating taking her life, I would’ve quit my job, stayed by her side, and walked with her through this for however long I needed to. But she hid it so well. I had no idea. None. I didn’t even know she miscarried. I just found her and well, that’s when I also found out we lost our fourth one.”
“I just can’t...”
He squeezed my hand. “People go through things, and we help them, walk with them, make sure they make it through it. But there are some things that happen, and they become numb and go through the ropes. To us, they appear to be healing when in reality, they’ve fallen so far away from the path, they don’t even realize how far away they are.”
I cried for him and Claire.
“Erika,” he said as he let out a few cries. “I know he, Brooks, is struggling. He doesn’t even realize the depth of his pain yet. He’s not the same person you knew. And when he pulls through this event, he will again be someone completely different. But one thing I know is he’s going to need you. If you two were that close, he’s going to need you.”
I sobbed as I laid my head on his bed. “I’m so scared. Not of him, I’m just... Jaden and...”
“I know,” Easton whispered. “Trust me. Things always get bad before they get better. Right now, I don’t think his life can get any worse.”
“Yes, it can,” I sobbed.
“How? Losing a child is...”
“Intentional homicide. Look what he did to you.” I wiped my tears again and stared at him. “Look how he left you. He left you to die. On your kitchen floor. What would have happened if I hadn’t...”
“Shhh,” Easton said. “But I didn’t die, did I? I’m here. I’m going to be okay.”
“He’s going to spend years in prison for what he did to you and for the kidnapping charge and ...”
“Erika,” Easton said. “I’ve already made up my mind. I’m not going to press charges. None. I’m not pressing any charges. Look what that man is going through. I survived, and I’m going to be okay. I know that. But he’s going to need an army to stand with him right now. And yes, even with what he did to me, I will stand with him and be there for you and him.”
“Easton...” I sobbed.
“I mean it. He is a changed man. And the worst thing right now would be to walk away and leave him in the dark when he needs us the most. Trust me. I had to walk in the dark alone. I had no one.”
I sobbed harder.
“You need to be strong for him right now, okay?”
I nodded.
“He’s so broken right now, he’s probably still considering ending his life. He’s sitting in a rock-bottom basement, not even looking for a way out. I bet you anything he’s feeling done. He’s feeling defeated, like he’s ruined everyone’s lives around him. He needs you, Erika.”
I nodded as I stood and hugged him. The urge to cry was so strong, it took everything in me to stop. Not only did I have to be strong for Brooks, but I also had to be strong for Easton too. I didn’t know his story—now I did.
You never know what others are going through, or what they’ve been through. You never know why they act the way they do, because you don’t know the choices they had to make. You don’t know what mountains are in their journey.
Each of us has our own mountains to climb in life. If we’re one of the lucky ones, we have someone to walk alongside us. If we’re even luckier, we have someone holding our hand along the way. I would hold Brooks’ hand every step of the way—that is, if he would let me.
Chapter Fourteen
“That’s fine,” I heard Brooks say, when I asked the officer standing outside his door if I could speak to him alone.
I closed the door behind me, stepped past the curtain, and stopped at the end of his bed. The first thing I saw were all the bandages on his feet. I felt a shiver of responsibility at the sight.
“Hey,” he whispered.
“Hi.”
“Erika, I’m so sorry,” he blurted out. “I’m so, so, so sorry.”
“Brooks,” I stopped him as I stepped around to the side of his bed. I paused and stared at him before sitting on the edge of his bed.
He broke down in tears, which made me break down and cry. He pulled me close against him, wrapped his arms around me, and wept. I could feel his suffering with every painful breath he took. After a few minutes, I raised my head from his chest, sat up straighter, and kissed him on the forehead.
He took a heavy breath. “Erika...”
“Brooks,” I interrupted him. “I need to ask one question.”
He nodded. “Okay. Okay. Go ahead.”
“Why? Why didn’t you tell me? Why did you feel you couldn’t you tell me?”
Tears broke from his eyes. I knew it stung him to talk about it, but I needed to know. He swallowed the lump in his throat, peered out the window for a few seconds, and glanced back to me.
“I guess I...I guess I just wanted to forget,” he started. “I just wanted to go back. I wanted...” His voice trailed off as he seized his breath. “I didn’t want to hear the truth any longer. I had to get away, and I didn’t know where to go. I didn’t and still don’t want it to be real...” he cried.
“I know,” I said as I gripped his hand. “I don’t either. I feel numb, Brooks. But this is real.”
He dried his eyes.
“I just need to know why you couldn’t tell me? We could always tell each other everything, and this time...” I hesitated and searched into his eyes. “This time you couldn’t tell me. You
