“I don’t know.”
“Why don’t you go to the investigation hearing and tell them the truth?”
“You think Baker’s American colleagues will disbelieve him and believe me?”
He bowed his head then said in a subdued voice, “An injustice has been done to me. But God is great. He sent me Safwat Bey Shakir to help me.”
Marwa felt that the conversation was drifting into unknown territory filled with hidden possibilities, so she maintained her silence. Danana went on, as if talking to himself. “Safwat Bey promised me that he would settle the matter with the educational bureau, and after that, he’ll enroll me in another university.”
“Thank God.”
“Have you seen in your life a kinder and more generous man?”
“Of course not!”
“So, I ask you, for God’s sake, can I turn down any request by this man?”
Marwa looked at him in silence, but he persisted sharply, “Answer me.”
“What exactly do you want?”
“I want nothing but what’s good. We, Marwa, are a couple. We are partners, in good times and bad. Right now I am going through an ordeal. Safwat Bey has done me a big favor.”
“What’s that got to do with me?”
“Safwat Bey wants you to work with him.”
“Me?”
“Yes. He’ll appoint you as a secretary in his office.”
“But I’ve never worked as a secretary before.”
“It’s not that difficult. You’re intelligent and you’ll catch on quickly. If Safwat Bey wanted he could appoint ten American secretaries. But work in his office is subject to special considerations.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Whoever works with him will get to see highly classified documents. He wants you because he trusts you. American and Israeli intelligence will seek to recruit any secretary working with him to have access to our country’s secrets. Your work with Safwat Bey is a small return of his great favor, but it is also a patriotic act.”
Marwa fell silent again, as if the rush of events had discombobulated her and made her unable to think.
“What do you think?” Danana asked quickly and looked at her like someone who had thrown the dice in a backgammon game and was waiting for the result. He had prepared himself to convince her by any means. She must work with Safwat Shakir. He would urge her, beg her, quarrel with her, use her father to convince her if need be. He sat before her, ready for any reaction. Several moments passed, and then she raised her head toward him and said calmly with a mysterious smile on her face, “I accept.”
CHAPTER 31
How does winter turn into spring?
First the ice melts, and then life comes back to the dry branches and the flowers begin to come alive. That was how Carol’s life changed after she started working in commercials. She stopped her miserable search for a job and repaid, in installments, the money she had borrowed from her friend Emily. She bought new clothes for little Mark and got him a pass for the nearby bowling club. She gave Graham three elegant summer outfits and persisted until he started to buy his favorite Dutch pipe tobacco (about which he couldn’t hide his happiness). Then she bought a used Buick and painted the whole house, and she planted beautiful trees in the garden. One morning, she was having breakfast with Graham on the porch and wearing an elegant white cotton kimono (that she had bought from the popular Tigoro store). While he was smoking his pipe, drinking coffee, and reading the Chicago Tribune, she asked him, “What do you think, John? Our house has appreciated after renovation; if we put it up for sale now it can fetch a reasonable price. I can add to that from my savings and we can buy another house.”
Graham looked stunned. He kept playing with his beard for a few moments then said slowly, “That’s a good idea, but I’m attached to this house, Carol. I’ve lived here for twenty years. Everything in it reminds me of parts of my life.”
“We’ll move to a bigger and more beautiful house.”
“My feelings might be foolishly romantic, but I actually can’t imagine myself in another house.”
She looked disappointed. He held her hand and whispered, “In any case, I promise you I’ll think about it.”
“Don’t do anything against your will.”
“I’ll do whatever makes you happy.”
She looked at him, overflowing with feeling toward him. She rushed to him, put her arms around him, and showered him with kisses. She loved him more than she ever had.
Carol had finally come to terms with her new job and was at peace with herself. The first time she took off her clothes in front of Fernando, when she felt his cold hand touching her bare body as he prepared her for the shoot, she was crushed by humiliation; she felt dizzy, as if she were going to faint. With time, however, her aversion diminished and she began to get used to it. She said to herself: Fernando is gay; he is not aroused by a woman’s body; actually he might be disgusted by it. Why do I feel awkward when I bare myself before him? Isn’t this my job and his job? Would I have felt ashamed if he were shooting my hands or feet? Isn’t this a paradox? Aren’t my breasts part of my body, like other parts? My feeling of shame is a result of remnants of ancient, inherited ideas that consider a woman’s body private property that can only be used after permission is granted by her father or her husband. These are just cock-and-bull stories. I have nothing to be ashamed of. I am an actress, using my body to express myself before the camera, no more and no less. What’s so shameful about that? Besides, did I have any other choice? I couldn’t have turned down this job. I couldn’t stand causing more troubles for Graham, who loves me and loves my son and has endured endless hardship for us, and in return, I gave
