“I’m sorry for that too, your highness,” he replied. “I’m sorry for so many things. You should never have suffered the way you did in Nizam. You should never have been forced to run away from home. Any fool could have seen who you were, and that there was no changing it. But I think it wasn’t until I came here, until I saw you as you are now, that I realized how much stronger and more powerful you are this way than you were living the lie we forced upon you. Will you forgive me, your highness?”
I nodded, because I could scarcely trust myself to speak. When the words did come, they were thick in my mouth, tears rolling in long lines down my cheeks. “Yes, of course I will. All I ever wanted was for you to ask. For you to be proud of me rather than ashamed of me.”
“Your highness,” he said, taking both of my hands in his, “I’ve never been more proud of anyone in my entire life than I am of my bold, brilliant, beautiful daughter.”
I laid my head back against the pillow with a sigh of relief that brought with it even more tears. “I never imagined you’d say something like that to me.”
“You must have thought me a very great fool, then, your highness,” he replied, “because no one could have watched you these last weeks and seen what you’ve accomplished and think anything less.”
“Have we heard back from my father?” I wondered, because I didn’t think he would look on my activities in quite the same light. I’d disobeyed him. I’d killed our allies. Granted, I’d also captured Rajkot and Khambat, and all of Mahisagar with them, to say nothing of Ahura, but it was going to be tricky to hold them without help from my father’s soldiers. For now, the Mahisagaris had sworn allegiance to me, and their three surviving acid zahhaks had been added to my personal stables, but I wasn’t sure how far I could trust the Mahisagari fleet to obey me. I’d named Viputeshwar the subahdar of Mahisagar, and he was in Rajkot even now, attending to matters, but who knew if the Mahisagaris would get it into their heads to rebel?
Then again, with thirty-six Zindhi cannon zahhaks on our side, and a pair of Yaruban fire zahhaks being gifted to Arjun in exchange for peace, I thought we probably were a more ferocious power in the air than we had been before. So I knew I had the power to crush any rebellion swiftly. The trouble was, doing that would just weaken me further. I needed soldiers I could rely upon if I was to keep my lands safe, and at the moment the Mahisagaris, while the most numerous, had the least reason to be loyal to me.
“We have not heard from his majesty, your highness, but I imagine he will arrive in person any day now,” Sikander replied. “But you needn’t fear him. I will make certain that he understands all that you have accomplished.”
“May you have better luck than I have,” I whispered, because I’d never been able to convince my father of my worth, though that hadn’t stopped me from trying, however foolishly.
“You shouldn’t be worrying yourself over such things now, your highness; you need to rest and heal.” He stroked my hair again, fondly, like he had when I was little and he was putting me to bed. “You should try to sleep if the pain has passed.”
“I’m tired of sleeping,” I whined. “I want to do something.”
“You don’t think you’ve done enough?” Sakshi asked as she strolled into the room, Lakshmi at her side and Nuri trailing not far behind. They were all safe and sound. We’d lost not a single flier in the battle. I wasn’t sure how that had happened, but it was probably Hina’s timely intervention that accounted for it.
The thought of the battle reminded me of an ache in my heart. “How is Sultana?”
“She’s fine, Razia,” Sakshi assured me as she sat on the other side of my bed from Sikander, Lakshmi piling in beside her. “I took her up for a flight today, and she’s completely healthy. She just knocked herself out from the impact, that’s all. But there are no broken bones. The veterinarian assured me that there’s nothing wrong with her.”
“I want to see her . . .” I whispered, overwhelmed with a rush of confused emotions, mostly gratitude that she was alive and had saved my life, but guilt too. So much guilt.
“As soon as the doctor says you’re healthy, you’ll be able to see her,” Sakshi promised. “But you have to stay in bed until your back is healed. As it is, it’s hard enough to keep her from trying to land on your balcony.”
“Maybe you could move me to the roof so I can see her?” I suggested.
She pursed her lips and nodded. “I suppose we could set up an awning. If it will keep you in bed.”
“It will,” I lied.
She rolled her eyes, knowing me too well to be fooled. “I’ll arrange it. But for now, try to get some rest.”
“Is Arjun around?” I asked hopefully. Sikander had said he had been called away, but ever since the battle I hadn’t wanted to be separated from him for long. I knew it was probably exhausting for him, but not nearly as exhausting as it had been living so long under Karim’s thumb.
“He and Hina are handling the emissary from Jesera,” Sakshi said, “but they should be finished soon.”
“There’s an emissary from Jesera, and I wasn’t told?” I demanded, and I tried to sit up, but both Sikander and Sakshi held me down so I couldn’t.
“You need to rest,” Sakshi said. “Arjun and Hina are more than capable of negotiating the final terms of peace with Jesera. You’ve spoken with them about it,
