Her mind abruptly slammed to a halt. A dress? She could count on one hand when she’d worn one. She was a jeans and boots gal, leather jackets and belts, no jewellery… what kind of dress should she be looking for?
This question kept Lucy’s line of thought nicely diverted from family lies until she exited the tube, when it switched to her mother, and whether to tell her about seeing her dad or not. Heartbeat picking up, Lucy let herself into the house filled with apprehension, and the moment she stepped into the hallway her body slumped in relief. Mum wasn’t back from work yet.
Dumping her handbag on the kitchen table, she pulled out her laptop. Fired off an email to Dan, telling him that she’d spent the afternoon investigating Ricky’s clients, two in particular: Charles Tyne Associates and HBS Property Developers. The latter was one of Teflon Tom’s companies which appeared to be involved with the former through a land agency of some sort. It was like trying to disentangle a woollen cat’s cradle but she was determined to unravel it so Tomas’s dealings were clear in her mind. Knowledge was power, as Dan always said.
She was looking at a new company, formed just six months ago and given a start-up loan from HBS Property Developers, when she heard the front door bang. The million-pound factory – built in Wolverhampton – looked state of the art.
‘Hello, lovely.’
Lucy looked up as her mother walked into the kitchen. She wore her staff nurse uniform with rubber-soled black shoes, her hair tied into a knot at the back of her head. She looked tired, the same as she usually did after a long day, and as Lucy watched her put her handbag next to her backpack on the table, a wave of emotions swept over her and the colours in her mind became a confused jumble of black, red and green.
‘What’s wrong?’ Her mother’s tiredness had gone. She was watching Lucy carefully.
‘Nothing.’ The word sat like a dark slug on her tongue.
‘Lucy…’ Her tone was soft. Kind but warning. ‘I know that look, and it’s–’
‘I saw Dad.’
She hadn’t planned to say anything. She’d thought she’d sleep on it first, but it had just blurted out.
Silence fell.
Lucy heard the wall clock ticking, a couple of cars driving past outside. Her heart was beating fast. She felt as though she was perched on a cliff edge.
‘What?’ Her mother’s tone was blank.
‘I saw him for a coffee at Terminal 3. He was flying to America. It was the only time we could meet as he’ll be gone for at least a week.’
Her mother stared at her as if she’d never seen her before. ‘You what?’
‘I saw Dad,’ she repeated.
Her mother reached out a hand and pulled out a kitchen chair. Sank into it. ‘Fuck.’
Lucy didn’t think she’d heard her mother swear before but she supposed now was as good a time as ever.
‘He said you threw all his stuff out on the street.’
Her mother continued to stare in her direction. She didn’t seem to be looking at Lucy, but at something in her own mind.
‘He said it was your idea to tell me he’d gone to Australia. But he’s in Macclesfield!’ Anger began to rise, hot as molten lava. ‘He said he didn’t want to leave, but you forced him. That he loved us… and when he emailed me, you blocked him. You sent back all his mail and–’
Her mother rose so abruptly, her chair crashed to the floor. She didn’t seem to notice. Her gaze was still fixed on Lucy.
‘Stop right there. Stop repeating his shit.’ Her voice was trembling, furious. ‘Because that’s what it is. Shit.’
‘Is it true?’
‘I can’t believe you went behind my back.’ Her fists were clenching and unclenching. ‘Why did you do that, Lucy? Why didn’t you tell me first?’
‘Mum!’ Lucy got to her feet. ‘Is it true?’
‘Which bit?’ Her tone was like ice.
‘That he tried to contact me and you stopped him. You sent back all his letters and presents to me, unopened.’
Her mother’s lips pinched. ‘It’s true. And if you stopped to think why I’d do such a thing, you’d know why.’
‘So he had an affair!’ Lucy cried. ‘So what? Millions of people have affairs! Why were you so unforgiving?’
A quick flash of dismay, before her mother’s eyes flicked away. ‘Is that what you think? That I’m unforgiving?’
‘What am I supposed to think?’
‘You’re meant to trust me.’
‘I have!’ Lucy shouted. ‘All my life I’ve trusted you but I had to see him, don’t you understand? He’s part of me, my DNA, and whether he’s an unfaithful git or a superstar, he’s my dad!’
‘I’m sorry, Lucy, but this isn’t going to happen.’
‘You can’t stop me.’
‘Watch me.’
Her mother snatched up her handbag and pulled out her phone. Dialled.
Lucy felt as though she’d been pushed out of a top-floor window. Her stomach swooped, her skin chilled. Her ears were filled with a rushing sound.
‘Carl? It’s me.’
Her mother held Lucy’s eyes as she spoke.
‘No, I don’t care. You could be boarding an aeroplane or the space shuttle for all…’ Her eyes suddenly narrowed. ‘Shut up.’ Her tone was like a slap.
‘Lucy told me you met today. Yes, you spun quite a tale… well, I suppose it’s true, but as you know, it’s only half the story…’
Her mother listened for a while. Then she said, quite firmly, ‘No.’
Lucy watched as her mother’s face hardened.
‘No. That wasn’t the deal, remember?’
Lucy heard her father squawk, his voice tinny through the microphone.
‘Do you remember?’ her mother roared.
Silence.
‘I want you to speak to Lucy. You know what to say.’
Her mother held out the phone.
Shaking inside, unsure whether it was anger or fear, Lucy took the phone.
‘Dad?’ Her voice was small.
‘Sorry, sweetheart. She wins, okay? It was nice to see you, though. Lots of love.’
He hung up.
Fingers trembling, Lucy called him back but he didn’t answer. She looked at her mum. ‘What did you say?’
Her mother turned so Lucy couldn’t
