“Yep. We’ve got an ‘outside rule.’ My parents have meetings all day, and I ‘shouldn’t spend so much time playing games, Devon Isaiah!’ So I usually just go to Roll and play games there instead.” That little giggle again, happy enough with his own joke to keep going. “Oh yeah! You saw my note about the tournament, right?”
Tonio nodded.
“You have to come. Nobody told me that everyone was going to go to camp, so I feel like the last kid on earth most days. If you aren’t there, it’ll just be me and a bunch of grumpy adults like Phil. What’s your dog’s name, by the way?” He reached down to scratch behind my ears.
“Buster.” Tonio’s face turned red as Devon repeated my name, and I wagged my tail. “I don’t really play,” Tonio lied. I pretended to sniff around the bench Devon was sitting on and posed in the way that meant Mia. “But … Mia Lin might be there. So you won’t be alone.”
“Really? Mia plays?” He sat up and tugged at his earlobe. “That’s awesome! I didn’t know she was still in town, too. We can all play!”
“I said—”
“Okay, sure, maybe you don’t play yet, but I’ve got a ton of cards and I can teach you, easy.”
Tonio stared at the ground for a long time, long enough that Devon’s expression drifted into concern. I tried to get Tonio’s attention with a few poses, but he wouldn’t move his eyes from the ground.
“Are you okay?” Devon asked.
“You don’t have to pretend you want to be my friend.” Tonio’s voice was strained, and harsh. There wasn’t really an Underspeak word for anxiety, so I had taught him a different combo of words to mean the closest I could get. Bad brain! I underspoke. Devon was a sweet kid, looking for friends. But Tonio’s anxiety was filling in the blanks with a completely untrue story.
“Huh?”
“I threw up on you in front of everybody. I embarrassed you, and then I ran away at the game store, and then I ignored your note.” Tonio’s breathing was heavier, and he was barely speaking loud enough to be heard over the rain on the gazebo’s roof. “I haven’t done anything good. I haven’t even been nice to you. It doesn’t make sense.”
Devon didn’t answer right away, and Tonio kept talking, words falling out of him like he couldn’t keep them held in anymore. “And nobody at school is nice to you. But you keep talking to them. You keep talking to me.”
“I thought we could be friends,” Devon said. “I’m sorry. I can stop talking to you, if you want.”
“That’s not what I mean!” Tonio croaked. He turned around completely to lean against the rail and tugged my leash, tied around his wrist, in the process. I moved closer to him and looked up to see him squeezing his eyes tight toward the rain. “I just don’t get it.”
Devon stood up and walked over to Tonio. He hopped up to sit on the rail next to where Tonio’s hands were gripping it. “So it’s okay that I’m talking to you?”
“I don’t know,” Tonio barely squeezed out. I nudged into his side, and his hand drifted down to run his hand along my fur. Deep breaths, I thought. You can do it.
“Okay.” Devon leaned side to side, considering what to say. “Whenever Miles and Parker say dumb stuff at school, I always look over at your face.”
That surprised Tonio. He opened his eyes and looked at Devon, confused. “What?”
“It’s always like this.” Devon raised one eyebrow and pursed his lips just a little in an are you serious right now? kind of face. “So I know I’m not imagining that they did something stupid, ’cause I can tell you think so, too. And you never join in when anybody’s being mean. But I know you’re listening, ’cause you’re always like—” He did the face again. “Or sometimes, it’s like—” He brought his eyebrows together and dropped his jaw a little, a very familiar look of stressed surprise. “Those guys are the worst. But I’m pretty sure you aren’t like those kids. I don’t think you’d make fun of me, like they do.”
Tonio brought his eyebrows together, and his jaw dropped a little.
“See?!” Devon grinned, and Tonio self-consciously tried to rearrange his face before he answered.
“You know about that?”
“Of course I know about that. They aren’t, like, quiet about it. And also, if it makes you feel better, you should know yearbook signing was not the first time I’ve been thrown up on.”
“Really?”
“One time, my best friend back in the city drank like a whole thing of chocolate milk before we got on a roller coaster, and as soon as we stepped off—” He waved his hand all over his face and chest. “Some of it got in my mouth. And actually, my baby cousin ran right up to me after getting off the trampoline and just blew it all over my shoes. Maybe I look like a trash can or something.”
Tears were welling up in Tonio’s eyes—tears of relief, I realized. “You don’t l-look like a trash can,” he said.
“Well, thanks, I—oh, are you okay?!” Devon stood up to catch Tonio, but he wasn’t falling. Just sitting on the gazebo’s wooden floor.
“I ruined your yearbook!” Tonio had been ready for disgust, anger … he’d spent so much time building this moment up in his mind—and building himself up to be a big bad guy in this kid’s life. Now, seeing that Devon barely cared was a huge emotional release. Devon laughed and slid down next to him on the stair.
“They gave me another yearbook,” he assured Tonio. “And it was a good excuse to give my parents for why there weren’t any signatures.” He opened his hands and made a what can you do? gesture. “Better than ‘nobody likes me.’ ” Devon watched Tonio with
