She takes a deep breath. "But you are using your job as a reason to not cultivate human relationships."
"What? Human relationships? What are you, a robot?"
"Don't argue. Besides, I predate your company. I'm grandfathered or whatever. And, besides me, who do you talk to or hang out with?"
I spin my ring. "I met Jared for lunch, like…"
She laughs. "Sarah, you had lunch with Jared six months ago. We're going out tonight."
"I can't." I groan. "I have to fly out early. I have that lumber yard account to set up before I go home."
"You aren't flying straight home?"
"No." I shrug. "It’s work."
"You need to hire someone else to cut your workload down. This is too much for one person, babe."
"I'm fine. I can do it."
She cuts me off. "Yeah, ‘cause then you couldn't hide behind your job anymore. We're still going out tonight. I'll have you home early."
"Why is this such a big deal?"
"Sarah, when was the last time you had sex?"
"I'm not sleeping with anyone tonight."
"Geez, dude, you need to loosen up."
"Ah ha! You just said dude again."
She waves me off, walking back into my closet and pulling out a green dress. "Go shower and wear this." She sets it on my bed before walking out of my room.
I'm drying my hair when she comes back to check on my progress. Taking my brush from me, she starts playing with my hair. Hair has always been her thing. When I first met her, she had multiple pastel-shaded streaks. I think she's always wished I would let her dye my hair. I, on the other hand, am happy with my brown hair. She braids a chunk of it and pins it like a headband across the top of my head. We head to her car, a Hummer. It always makes me laugh because Sawyer is tiny and her car is huge.
We head to a nearby restaurant bar. There is a live band playing. As we're seated, I notice the bassist nod in Sawyer's direction. "Know him?"
"Oh, that's James. He's cool. He's the one who lives part-time in France. We went out a couple times."
Our server comes by to take our drink orders. Once he's gone, she looks up from her menu. "What are you going to get?"
I shrug. "Clam cakes, or Chicken Kiev. Haven’t decided. You?"
"The Portobello Mushroom Pasta looks good. Hey, I forgot to ask where's this lumber yard you're setting up?"
"Just outside Newark. I wonder if anyone we know still lives out there. Helen moved to San Diego."
"Jake's still out there. Want his number? I'm sure he'd meet up for lunch or dinner."
I grin. She’s the only person I've ever met who is on good terms with all of her exes. "I'm not going to be there long enough to hang out. Gotta get in, get out, and get to Atlanta."
We order and hang out until our food arrives. The band takes a break, and James and another guy come over to sit with us. As close as James is sitting to Sawyer, I wonder if he hopes they'll hang out later tonight as well. His band mate, the drummer, is named Trent and seems nice enough. They get up once our food comes to go play some more.
"So what'd you think of Trent?"
I hold up my hand as I finish my bite. "He seemed nice."
Her eyes widen. "You don't think he's hot?"
I glance back over to the stage. "I guess. He sure wears a lot of black."
She laughs at me. "Sweetheart, you could find an issue with any guy. Is anyone ever going to be good enough for you?"
I spin my ring, trying not to think about the blue eyes that owned me. "Someday," I hedge. "Who knows."
We have another drink and stay to listen to the band for another hour before heading home. They are still on stage as we leave, and Sawyer catches James' eye as we are walking out and waving bye. I go right to bed when we get home, wondering if Sawyer will have company once James is done playing. She is something. Part of me wishes I could live like she does, so free. Everyone who meets her loves her. God, when Brian came out to visit once, I thought he was going to ask her out. That would have been just weird. He still asks how she’s doing every time we talk. She has that effect on people. I, on the other hand, do not. There are no ex-boyfriends trying to track me down. I fall asleep trying to think of anything other than my first love.
Chapter 2
Past
It's our last day of school before spring break. I've already stopped by my locker and am sitting on the floor next to Will as he rummages through his locker for something. Once he shuts the door, I stand.
Click.
"Will, come on." I cover my face.
"Just one more picture," he pleads.
I protest but only halfheartedly. I can't say no to him, especially when he pouts. I can see his lips through the mesh of my fingers, his full, perfect lips. What I would give to feel them on mine. He has a girlfriend, I remind myself, before dropping my hands. I look right at him, and at the last second, cross my eyes.
"Dork." He still takes a picture.
"What? Is there something wrong with my face?" I uncross my eyes and blink a few times.
He snaps another picture and sticks his tongue out at me as he puts his camera in its case and the case into his backpack.
"So, will you come?" Will asks, giving me that lopsided grin I can't say no to.
"Of course." I fake as much enthusiasm as possible.
Crap. He’s chewing on the corner of his bottom lip. He always does that when he's thinking. Maybe he's onto me.
I exhale. "I just don’t think Jessica likes me." I look at my feet.
"She doesn't," he admits.
My mouth drops open, and my eyes flick to his. "Then why do you want me
