I glare at Brian. "What? Why would you think that? I can handle making a slideshow."
"I can go." Will gets up.
Great. Now I'm an asshole. I grab his arm and pull him back down into chair. I refuse to look at him, though, because I may not be able to restrain myself from smacking the smirk I am almost certain is on his face. Instead, I glare at Brian. I'm not sure why it makes me feel better, but it does. It also helps that he looks a bit scared of me. Good. He should be. Chip is giving me a concerned look, I give him a half smile and eat my sub. While we eat, I watch my family interact with Will. I can't lie. It makes me feel jealous that he seems so involved in their lives.
After lunch, Brian, Christine, Will, and I go into the living room to sort through old photos. Christine has brought a bunch of her own that can be used in the slide show. She wants it to start with baby pictures of them and follow them as they grew, ending with pictures of them as a couple. Will brought his laptop and scanner to make the actual file. That bugs me. It seems pretty clear Will can handle making the slideshow on his own. I’m starting to wonder why Brian had even asked for my help. I do my best to put on a happy face, though. I am here for his wedding. There is no way I am going to let my weirdness around Will negatively impact any part of Brian's wedding.
Yes, I am uncomfortable, and yes, I am saying really rude things to both Will and Brian inside my head. All I need to do is be the bigger person for the next week. Besides, no matter how crazy Brian can drive me, he is still my big brother, and I love him. Settling down on the sofa, I reach for a photo album. As I flip through the pictures, I point out cute or funny ones of Brian to Christine. It takes me back. If I had pouted or rebelled against helping because of Will, I might have missed this. I’m still figuring out the whole maturity thing more than halfway through my twenties.
The album I’m looking at has pictures from when Brian was in high school. I don’t know why but I hadn’t expected to come across pictures of Will and I. When I turn the page, it’s like I am pulled back in time. The pictures have to be from our freshman year. There is one with Brian, Will, and I around our kitchen table playing Uno. I have a Yoo-hoo in front of me. I can almost hear Will giving me crap for it, saying they taste like watered down milk. I didn’t care. I loved them, still do. I wonder who took the picture, maybe my mom. If my dad had taken it, one of our heads would have been cut off. Thank god for digital cameras. At least my dad could delete the bad shots nowadays. I can't stop looking at the picture. In it, Will and Brian are both smiling straight at the camera. Me, I'm looking at Will like a love sick puppy. It’s hard not to remember how intense my feelings for him were.
It takes me a couple seconds to realize everyone has stopped talking. I look up and feel a tear slide down my cheek. I had not even known I was crying. I set the album on the coffee table and hurry into the kitchen. My throat feels dry, so I fill a glass with water and gulp it down. I'm standing at the sink, ready to refill my glass when Will walks in.
"Sarah?"
"Please." It's one word, but the way I say it means so much more. Please don’t say anything. Please don’t look at me. Please don’t hurt me. Please just stay away. Please.
He leans against the doorframe. He never was a good listener. I refill my glass and turn my back to Will before gulping it down. I hear him push off and the sound of his footsteps as he comes to stand right behind me. I can smell his after shave. It’s subtle, but intoxicating. When I just barely feel his breath against the back of my neck, I lean onto the counter to ensure I don’t fall over. It feels like an eternity. I can't move.
"Can we talk?"
I can't handle this right now. I don’t know what to say. Doing nothing, though, seems to work. I hear him swallow before he turns and walks back out of the room. I still can't move. I feel another tear snake down my cheek. I'm not crying because of the picture anymore. Now I'm crying because I know I never stopped loving Will. I'm startled by the noise of the freezer making ice. I turn and almost have a heart attack when I see my uncle Chip sitting at the kitchen table. How the…? I hadn’t even heard him come in. My uncle is not a small man. There is no way I could have missing him walking in.
Using his foot, he pushes the chair closest to me out. "Why don’t we have a chat, Sarah."
Chapter 10
Past
Our first day back at school is interesting. It feels like the whole school knows about Will kissing me at the amusement park. I have never felt so evaluated. I can only guess what everyone is thinking. What is Will Price doing with her? I don’t even have any classes with him to see if he's feeling the same thing. We do have the same lunch, so when the weather’s nice we eat outside. I get to our table before him and panic for a moment, wondering if he's changed his mind about me. My fear is short-lived when I see him make his way over to me only moments
