Chip says it’s the kind of place I would be lucky to get my foot in the door. That in itself is an overwhelming concept. I’m still in my first year of school. Do I even want to put my foot in any doors yet? That whole ‘what do you want to be when you grow up’ question still plagues me. I do not know the answer. I'm not even sure when I will know the answer, but I do know I want to be a success. Now, knowing more about the group Helen works for, I decide to go for it. It’s the decision that changes my life.
Helen’s thrilled when I give her the news on Monday. My current boss, Danny, is less excited but still wishes me the best. My first few weeks with Pickering, Coleman, and Van Arsdale are awful. Moving into the world of finance is not unlike learning a new language, one that includes a lot of numbers. As promised, Helen does work around my course schedule. This job consumes me in a way that at the end of each day I’m so mentally exhausted, I collapse into bed. I’m almost too busy to think about Will. Almost.
He’s every brown-haired boy to me. Sometimes I question my sanity, so certain I see him in a crowd. I still check his horoscope every day, crying myself sick whenever it mentions romance. I wonder what he’s doing, and if he ever thinks of me. I want to be angry at him. I will myself to be. Thinking of him in that way feels safer for me. I embrace my role as the injured party. Is that fair? Probably not. It’s self preservation. That and avoiding any conversations that involve my going home. I use my schedule as a crutch, as my reason I just cannot go home. It’s only partly true. I am busy but I accrue vacation time so I have the option available to me. Instead, I bank my vacation time to take time off during finals.
The real reason I don’t want to go home is Will. I have submersed myself in Trenton, almost using this city as a blanket. The distance protects me both from knowing what anyone is doing back home to having anyone know about me. I want to be forgotten. I want to forget them. My parents come out to visit me a couple of times while I’m in school. I get my fear of flying from my father. They would probably come out more often if it had not been for that. Brian comes out to visit me once. It’s the year after I graduate and start sharing an apartment with Sawyer. She’s out of town visiting some friends in Canada.
I’m still working for Helen but now full-time. Brian’s in his grunt years at his law firm and is enjoying the break. It’s summertime, and we go hiking. I remember him complaining about his retirement plan at work. His company is going away from the pension-style plan to a heavier 401k-style with discretionary additional contributions from his employer. He’s annoyed because the paperwork is a mess. Then something had been misfiled, so he would be missing the additional deposit this year.
That’s not the first time I had heard that type of complaint. Working with Helen, who specializes in dealing with complex tax filings, I know how important a qualified contribution can be to someone's tax liabilities. There are so many different types of retirement plans out there that many of her clients don’t know until after meeting with her that another type of plan may have been more favorable for them. Many of Helen's clients never follow up on the recommendation of establishing a different type of plan because all of the paperwork seems too daunting. That's when I have the idea of creating a service to do that part. I learn after talking to Helen that my idea is not unique. There are companies, or individuals, in existence who already do this. Doesn’t mean they can’t use a little competition.
Chapter 23
Present
He's quiet on the ride over to Brian and Christine's condo. He laughs when I press the button to open the sunroof. I shrug and cross my arms across my chest. I'm trying to have an open mind, but I'm more scared than I care to admit. What if this doesn’t work out? Not tonight, but in general. I never truly got over Will. I cannot imagine trying to again. I sit there, actually thinking how feasible it can be to run my company remotely from Georgia or move it out here altogether. I stop thinking when I notice Will is parking. I look up and hesitate. I'm nervous about being alone with him.
He can tell I'm about to say something. He leans over to kiss me. "Shut," he punctuates each word with a kiss, "up."
I bite his lower lip, and he stills. I release his lip and meet his gaze.
"I've been dreaming about having you in my arms again for seven years, Sarah."
I don’t trust my voice and am blinking wetness away from my eyes. I mouth 'me too.’ He gets out and walks around to open my door. I feel a bit awkward walking into my brother's complex without him.
"Did you know I used to live here?" he asks, taking my hand in his.
"Christine told me. She pointed out your old place form their balcony. Said something about you and Brian trying to play catch between both places."
He laughs and rubs his hand over his face before smiling down at me. "It was fun living here. I miss that place."
His thumb sweeps back and forth across the back of my hand as we wait for the elevator.
He leans and kisses the spot right below my ear. "’Member that thing I said about you holding your breath when you think your heart is pounding?" My eyes flick to
