Out of cowardice, Eloise asked no more. She had no desire to wrest Jonathan’s illness from Megan – that horror was hers alone. ‘Well, I’m glad he was with someone who loved him… at the end.’
Megan accepted Eloise’s acknowledgement with a small nod.
They seemed to have reached an impasse: enough said for them to feel they had moved on; nothing left to be said that would change anything.
‘Do you want to head back to the house?’ Eloise asked.
Megan pulled her hair over her shoulder and held on to it. ‘Not especially.’
‘Me neither. A slice of cake?’
For the first time ever, they smiled at each other.
And so, by mutual consent, they stayed exactly where they were, sipping their coffee and eating cake, watching the condensation trickle down the windows – just like a couple of old friends out for a spot of late lunch and a catch-up.
Chapter 49
NOAH KNEW there was no point calling Josie, but he did anyway, his phone pressed tight to his ear to cut out the wind. From his spot at the top of the drive he saw a light come on in the upper floor of the house. Freddie and Arthur having an early bath? Sand to be washed out of every crevice after another fun day on the beach with their doting dad. Thank God they hadn’t been around to witness the day’s histrionics. His heart ached for Lily and his own home. Josie’s ultimatum rang through his head as the dial tone sounded: Get the will settled with Liv and Chloe, sort yourself out, decide what you really want – then we’ll talk.
Well, at least the first objective had been achieved – not that he was going to get to tell Josie that, as it was obvious she had no intention of answering his call.
It had been a bruising day, with he and Liv going at it. The thought made him feel unsteady, and vaguely ashamed. But he was confident she would come round. She always did. Always had in the past. He’d wait for her to cool down, then he’d apologise. That would do the trick. It normally did. But the look on her face when they’d been screaming at each other haunted him. He’d never seen Liv like that before. Raw, mad as hell and unnervingly, brutally honest. It was almost like he was seeing her properly for the first time.
His head throbbed and he was cold. He pressed ‘end’ on his call to Josie.
He walked up to the main road. Scanned the passing cars for his mother’s BMW. What the hell was she doing out with Megan all this time, while her children were tearing themselves apart?
What he needed to focus on was the fact that the deal had been done, rather than on the collateral damage to his relationship with his sister. The money mattered. It guaranteed Josie and Lily some security, and he owed them that – especially if he wasn’t going to be around in the long term. At least one black cloud had lifted, but that did not do much to lessen the intensity of the storm. An urge to cry suddenly swept through Noah. He rode it, waiting for the self-pity to wash through him. He knew he needed to pull himself together. Stop being so pathetic.
Her dialled Josie again. The long snake of red tail-lights wound along the coast road as the dial tone reverberated inside his head. She was ignoring him. He let it ring until her voicemail kicked in. He cleared his throat. His breath plumed white in the frosty air.
‘Hi. We’ve put it to bed – finally. We’re seeing the solicitor in the morning at ten. I’ll head home afterwards. I’ll ring you when I’m on my way.’ Long pause. Did she want him back? Should he be going back? He didn’t know. He felt compelled to say more, though he didn’t know what more he could bear to say. ‘Josie, I’ve given a lot of thought to what you said, about us – about me – needing to make some changes. I know I’m on borrowed time.’ He ended the call.
His I love you. I’m sorry was said to the wind.
Chapter 50
NO ONE else seemed to register that the boys were feral with hunger. There was no evening meal prepared, Megan having clocked off from domestic duties after her declaration of independence. Chloe went out and bought everyone fish and chips. When she came back, Megan and their mother had finally returned. Megan declined her fish supper, saying she’d already eaten, and disappeared upstairs without explanation. They ate standing around in the kitchen. All of them avoiding each other’s eyes. Chloe looked at her mother for answers.
‘Where did you go?’
‘We went for a drive, to Sandsend.’ Eloise was picking at her fish, with a cake fork of all things, not eating any.
Chloe couldn’t imagine Megan and her mother sitting side-by-side in the car, chatting. ‘Why Sandsend?’
‘The café down on the sea front does very good coffee.’ Liv flicked their mother a glance, which prompted a little more. ‘There was nothing else she, or I, could add to your discussions, so it seemed sensible to get out of your hair for a few hours. And it seems to have worked.’
‘What did you talk about?’ Chloe toyed with her scraps.
‘This and that.’
‘It just seems odd, the two of you going off like that – together.’ Noah chipped in – ever the one to go to the heart of the matter, without subtlety or sensitivity.
Eloise stabbed her dainty little fork into the belly of her fish. ‘Okay, we talked about your father. Is that what you want to hear?’
All three of them looked down at their plates.
‘It’s not so strange, if you think about it. We both knew your father – quite well.’ Eloise looked around the room. She seemed to be enjoying their discomfort. ‘What it may surprise you to hear is that we found some common ground, aside
