She shook her head. ‘Thank you for offering, Tom, but, no, I would rather leave. You’re braver than I am. I don’t think I could face those jokes. I’m sure I shall get another job even if it isn’t as well paid.’
‘With him?’
Her eyes dropped to the floor. ‘No.’
‘You used to work for him, you said.’
‘Yes, I did.’
With an angry bite, Tom demanded, ‘But he didn’t offer you a job? What a bastard. When it’s his fault you need a job.’
Pippa groaned. ‘Oh, Tom. Yes, he did, actually. He said I could have a job with his firm, but I’m not taking up the offer.’
Tom thought about that. ‘But you and he are…getting together?’
‘No! I’ve no intention of… No!’
He ran a hand through his hair, his face confused. ‘I don’t understand. I thought that was the whole point? That you were in love with him, that that was why you weren’t going to marry me? If you aren’t going to him, then why is it off between us?’
The kettle boiled; she made the tea, her back to him. ‘It isn’t that simple, Tom. Try to understand. I know it’s hard, but try. Seeing him again made me realise I was not in love with you, and never would be. And I couldn’t go ahead with the marriage when I knew it wouldn’t work for us. Do you see?’
‘No, I don’t! You say you aren’t going back to him, which I suppose means you aren’t in love with him—so how did that make you realise you weren’t in love with me, either?’
‘Tom…’ She fumbled for the right words, helpless to make it clear without hurting his feelings. ‘Tom, I was in love with him four years ago. Desperately in love. I got badly hurt, but at least I knew I was doing the right thing in going away, in not breaking up his marriage. When you and I started seeing each other I thought I was over all that. I’d forgotten how I felt about Randal. I didn’t try to compare the way I felt about you with the way I had felt about him. I honestly believed we could be happy together.’
‘I still think we could be!’ Tom said eagerly, coming closer. ‘If you aren’t in love with him, we still have a chance, Pippa.’
She picked up the teapot and poured the tea, shaking her head. ‘I’m sorry, Tom, but, no, we don’t have a chance. I know now that it was wrong of me to think I could make you happy.’
He put a hand on her back, gently stroking her spine, and leaned his face against her thick chestnut hair, murmuring into it, ‘How can you be so sure? Two days ago, everything was fine. Then you bump into this chap and suddenly the wedding is off and you tell me we don’t have a chance. But you still haven’t made it clear. If you aren’t in love with him either, why can’t you marry me?’
She closed her eyes, groaning. ‘Because I remember how I felt about him! And when I do marry, I want to feel that way again.’
He turned her round, still holding her, and softly kissed her. ‘You could learn to feel that way about me, Pippa.’
She shook her head regretfully, hating to hurt him, but knowing it was kinder in the long run. ‘I’m sorry, Tom. I’m very fond of you, and I like you a lot, but I know now that I could never love you the way I loved him.’
He groaned and kissed her again, harder, with pleading. ‘Pippa… I don’t want to lose you. I think we could be very happy together. We have been, haven’t we? I always believed we were a perfect match. Are you sure you aren’t chasing some impossible star? Looking for the perfect man? What if you never find him? Are you going to spend the rest of your life alone?’
The doorbell rang sharply and they both started. The noise went on, getting louder, more peremptory.
‘Is that him? It sounds like him,’ Tom said angrily. ‘I’ll deal with this. You stay here.’
‘No, Tom,’ she anxiously said, trying to stop him, but he was already on his way to the front door like an advancing army, bristling with war-like intent. Pippa ran after him, caught up just as he yanked the door open and glared at Randal standing outside.
‘Clear off. You’re not wanted. By either of us!’ Tom barked.
‘Pippa can talk for herself. She doesn’t need you talking for her!’ Randal drawled with an infuriating look of superiority.
‘She’s engaged to me!’
‘That doesn’t make her a deaf mute! Even if you’d like her to be one!’
‘How dare you?’ fumed Tom.
Pippa suddenly sensed they had an audience; across the road a curtain twitched, eyes peered at them, and a woman coming down the road had halted to stare, fascinated.
Angrily, Pippa hissed. ‘Come inside. People are watching!’
‘Not until this fellow has left!’ Tom said with a sullen glare at Randal.
‘I’m not going anywhere.’ Randal shrugged.
Flushed and distressed, Pippa pulled Tom back inside the cottage and Randal coolly followed, closing the front door behind him.
‘Tell him to go away,’ Tom urged, giving her that pleading look again, making her feel guilty and very sorry for him. ‘What’s he doing here, anyway? You said you were never going to see him again, so why’s he here?’
Randal gave her a narrowed, dangerous look. ‘Did you say that? Did he ask you to promise not to see me again? And did you agree?’
‘I asked you not to come here,’ she reminded him, chin lifted and green eyes angry.
‘And now I see why,’ he said through his teeth. ‘You’d arranged to meet him here and I would have been very much de trop.’
‘No! I hadn’t arranged to meet him. He arrived out of the blue.’
‘And talked you into going ahead with the
