“And what would that be?”
She shook her head. “Honestly, I have no clue.”
“Well, give yourself permission to figure it out,” he said, “and then just wait and see what comes up.”
“That’s what I was thinking about,” she said, chuckling. “It’s not always that easy, but maybe it’s not always that difficult.”
“It definitely isn’t all that difficult,” he said. “Life should be easier going forward. It’ll be different, and you’ll have varied things to sort through, but it won’t have the same pain and worry that you’ve had up until now.”
“And won’t that be different too,” she said. “For the longest time I wasn’t thinking about a future because I didn’t think I had much of one. Now I can see that I can do something, and now the choice is, what is it I want to do?”
“Like so many people here, you have a whole different story now,” he said, “because now you do get that choice, you do have an option, you do have something that you can do. So it’s all about you. And what you would like to do.”
“And that will take time to figure out,” she said, nodding. “But at least I have the time.”
“Exactly,” he said. “Now you have the time, so give yourself a break, and let yourself just do what you need to do to heal. Keep your mind open, think about what you want, and let it go.”
“Yeah,” she said.
Just then his phone rang. He hopped up and said, “See you later,” and he disappeared.
She smiled and realized that what she really wanted to do was spend time with him, as much time as she could. But she didn’t want to be a burden, so what would she do? While he was busy doing his thing, what did she want to be doing that would be her thing?
Whatever she decided, even just considering her options, she was up for the challenge. At least she thought so. Today of all days, at least it felt like a future was out there for her, something was out there for her. She just had to figure out exactly what that was, and good luck with that because it didn’t seem like any answers were on her horizon. She would have to wait and do some in-depth thoughtful consideration on it first. That was okay too.
Shane was a little more agitated than he’d been in a long time. He attended a team meeting going over multiple cases. And, of course, Melissa’s name had been brought up. And one of the doctors had mentioned Shane’s relationship with Melissa. Everybody else had slowly acknowledged that they knew about it.
Only one of the other therapists had brought it up further. “Are you sure,” she said to Shane, “that you are not affecting her ability to improve?”
He immediately shook his head and said, “No, I think her improvements are right on target.”
“Sure, and how much of it is she doing for you versus for herself?”
“I can’t answer that,” he said quietly, not liking the turn of the conversation. It was to be expected in many ways, but that didn’t mean he had to like it.
The other therapists stayed quiet, but then she asked, “Have you thought about backing off a little bit, just to see if it does affect how she does?”
“It would be hard to explain to her,” he said, “why all of a sudden I’m not having anything to do with her, and I think that, in itself, would cause confusion and hurt instead of her own backward progress. And that’s not what we want.” He kept his voice calm and contained, but it was not an unusual conversation, given the circumstances. He’d attended many when it was based on other people than himself. He just didn’t like having the spotlight turned on him. Nobody did.
One of the doctors said, “Well, you could try it for a day or two, and just see if there’s any change.”
“Not a day or two,” he said. “It’ll just confuse her.”
The doctor nodded slowly. “Well, maybe just ease things back a little bit, make it not quite so dominant in your world.”
“Is it wrong to want to spend time with a patient?” he asked. “We’ve seen it time and time again here.”
“It’s absolutely not wrong,” Dani said quietly at his side.
He gave her a grateful smile, appreciating her endorsement, her championship. But her next words brought home to him just how many problems could be here.
“The thing is, if anybody has any issues over this, it’s always been our policy to keep an open thought process moving on it.”
“So what am I to do?” he asked. “I don’t really want to set her back.”
“No, of course not,” Dani said. “Maybe I’ll talk to her,” she said thoughtfully. “I do know her better than anybody else here.”
“Are you sure that’s wise?” Shane asked.
The doctor spoke up. “That seems like we’re just getting things more confused.”
“I don’t think so,” Dani said. “I think there’s room for a lot more clarity here than we’re giving Melissa allowances for.”
“Do you really think that she doesn’t see him as some kind of a savior?” the doctor continued.
“I would hope not,” Shane said. “I’m very much a simple man with the same lead feet as all of us.” He kept his voice cool, making sure not to point any fingers or to bring up any names, because everybody here had had multiple reasons to question their own abilities. There was always a hard case, always somebody who didn’t respond, always somebody who had an attitude issue that grated a nerve or two. He knew he wasn’t alone, worrying about the progress of a patient.
“And now that we’ve decided that Dani will speak with Melissa,” he said, somewhat forcibly, “let’s move on to the next case. I am
