He nodded, walked over to where her wheelchair sat, and brought it to her. “And that’s what I need you to learn,” he said. “It’s up to you to get to know your own body, what it can do, what it can’t do, to what point it needs to stop, to what point you need to stop so you don’t hurt yourself more.”
“I didn’t think about it,” she said, groaning as she sank into the wheelchair. But now her body visibly shook.
He gave a muttered exclamation and said, “Come on. Let’s get you back to your bed.”
“I feel really rough right now,” she whispered.
“And what would make you feel better?”
She shook her head. “If I was at home, I’d have a hot bath. But there’s no bathtub in my room.”
“No, everything’s equipped with sit-in showers,” he said. “But I have a hot tub, if you think that would help.”
She thought about it a few moments and then said, “I won’t make it there,” she said. “I’ll just go to bed.” She couldn’t see his face but could hear that he didn’t like her answer.
At her doorway, he said, “Quickly get changed, and I’ll take you down to the hot tub.”
She looked up at him and knew that her face was almost white from the day’s efforts. “I don’t have the strength,” she whispered.
He frowned and stared at her. “I don’t want to leave you like this because, when you sank, you sank really far and deep.”
“I didn’t mean to,” she said. She slowly pushed herself to the bed. “I’ll be fine. I just need to recuperate.” As she struggled to stand from the wheelchair, she started to slip because she hadn’t put the brakes on.
Immediately he was there. He lifted her in a smooth movement, pulled the blankets back, and gently laid her down on the mattress. “I’m coming back with a green shake for you. It’s full of vitamins and nutrients.”
She looked up at him in horror. “You mean those nasty slimy things that look like they’re good for you but taste like dirt?”
He burst out laughing at that. “Yes,” he said. “But you’re obviously more depleted in other areas too. Have they run a bunch of blood tests on you?”
“They did one,” she said, “but I haven’t seen any results.”
“Well, you’re obviously extremely deficient, lacking in strength. We’ll have to build that up slowly.”
“You mean, slower than today?”
“That was only testing,” he let her know.
She wasn’t sure how she managed to keep joking, but she was more concerned about him feeling terrible because it’s obvious he did. She’d hit this wall many times before. “I’ve been here before,” she said. “I’ll just lie here and rest, probably sleep for a bit. Then I’ll be much better.”
He tucked her up with the blanket, and she snuggled in, trying to find that same spot that allowed the pain to slip away. As soon as she found it, the shaking and tremors eased a bit. “If you could pull that blanket up to my chin, I’ll just lie here for a bit.”
He did as she asked; then he quickly backed away.
She’d almost say he was running, but, if he was, it wasn’t away from her. It was toward something; she just wasn’t too sure what. As she lay here, feeling her aches and pain easing, she had to wonder if she would ever find a point in time where she could be on her own again.
She hadn’t expected to hit the wall so fast, but some movements that he’d asked of her, that she’d asked of her body, were some which she hadn’t done in such a long time. She wasn’t sure if it was shock or serious emotional fatigue or physical exhaustion, but she was done for. She was still trying to relax and to calm down a little bit more, when she figured he’d left at least fifteen minutes ago.
It might be safe to take a few deep breaths.
Cautiously she took a little bit deeper of a breath, well aware that her ribs could seize up if she did that too fast. And that was the worst feeling of all, having a steel rib cage that wouldn’t move and made her feel desperate for oxygen. But cramps always happened. Muscle knots that crept through the tendons and the muscles around her ribs and stopped them from expanding. She took another slow breath, a little bit deeper, then another one, feeling the oxygen seep in through her lungs.
Realizing that she wouldn’t have a cramp, she took yet another, slightly deeper breath, and relaxed into her bedding. “At least it’s not too bad now.”
“It was bad enough,” she heard from the doorway.
She looked up to see Shane standing there. She did her best not to cringe, but she knew he’d seen it.
He held out the green drink to her, tilting the straw so she didn’t have to move, and said, “Take a good sip.”
She took a small sip, not a good one, giving him a sideways glance.
He smiled at her and said, “All of it,” as if she were a two-year-old.
She found her voice and said, “I can’t drink it all so fast.”
“Maybe not,” he said, “but you haven’t had more than a tiny bit. Finish what you have left.”
She groaned and took a decent amount, tasted it, then wrinkled up her face.
“Apple juice, some mangoes blended in, and a whole pile of supplementation,” he said. “Your body is extremely depleted in vitamins and minerals. We’ll start feeding it properly in order to build up some energy.”
“Feeding me properly, so says you,” she said. “I’m totally okay to eat food, you know?”
“Good,” he said. “But the amount of vegetables that you would need to eat to get the same amount as this supplementation has? You couldn’t possibly eat that much.”
She frowned. “I could try.”
“Nope. This just became part of your normal everyday habit.”
“And if I
