Convinced that he definitely isn’t in the lounge, I step out through the doors and head towards the platforms, my eyes firmly on the swarm of people pushing their way through the ticket barriers up ahead. There are dozens of passengers on the other side of the barriers, making their way to the various platforms, where some trains are already waiting, and some are yet to arrive. But if I didn’t see James behind me, that means he must be ahead, so I rush towards the barriers with my ticket in hand and slot it into the machine.
I head in the direction of the platform for the Amsterdam service, and I can already see the train is parked with its doors open and ready to take on new passengers, so I’m about to break into a run when I catch sight of a dark-haired man on an opposing platform.
I see the man walking away with his back to me, his head bowed and a rucksack on his shoulder. Is that him? Based on the photo Louise showed me, it certainly could be.
Following the man, I do my best to fight the voice in my head telling me to turn around and go back to my daughter, begging me not to risk my health by going ahead with the plan. But I ignore it and keep running, and I’m about to reach him when he suddenly turns around.
That’s when I see that it isn’t him.
‘Shit,’ I say as I watch the man step on board a service to Brussels, annoyed at myself for wasting precious seconds in the pursuit of the wrong person.
Feeling panicked now that time is almost up, I turn around and go to head back down the platform when I feel a tight squeeze on my left arm, and a hand pulls me to the side.
I freeze, wondering if it is James.
Did he spot me while I was trying to spot him?
But then I get a look at the man’s face beside me and see that it isn’t James.
It’s his partner in crime.
‘Hello, Amanda,’ he says in that sickeningly calm voice of his, and all the fears and anxieties of the day come flooding back to me now that I am with this man again. ‘Nice disguise. But I’d recognise that hurried walk of yours anywhere after these last few weeks.’
I try to break free of his grip, but he doesn’t allow it as he leads me away from the passengers to a quieter end of the platform.
‘Get off me!’ I tell him, but I make sure to keep my voice low so as not to draw any attention to our section of the platform. I came here to stop James, but it’s obvious I’m going to have to stop his partner too.
‘What are you doing here, Amanda? Do you know where he is?’
‘What?’
‘It turns out you’re not the only one who has been screwed today,’ he says to me. ‘Where is he?’
‘What are you talking about?’ I ask as he leads me ever closer to the edge of the train platform, and I see the grimy tracks come into view beneath me.
‘James! Tell me where he is!’
‘I don’t know!’ I cry, starting to fear that I am going to be thrown down onto the tracks if I don’t give him the answer he wants.
‘I know he is here somewhere! I know he’s getting the Eurostar! Tell me where he is!’
‘I don’t know!’
That’s when I notice the train coming into the station further along the track from where we are now.
I desperately try to break free again, but my captor won’t let me go.
I’m going to lose James if I can’t lose this man.
So I stop pulling and start pushing instead.
His eyes go wide with fear as he realises what I’m doing, and he loses his grip on me as well as his balance, toppling backwards over the edge of the platform. The power I generated from the shove to his chest sends him down onto the tracks below just as the train arrives.
I almost regret what I have done in that instant and reach out for his hand as it falls away from me, but it’s too late. There is a high-pitched squealing of brakes as the train driver does his best to avoid the man who has fallen right in front of his vehicle, but it’s no good. An awful sound emerges from beneath the train as it runs over the body, and I turn away as blood splatters up from the tracks, closing my eyes but wishing I had covered my ears too to drown out the horrors behind me.
Somebody screams. Another person shouts. I hear an alarm sound on the train. Panicked voices. Rushing passengers trying to lend aid to the man under the train even though it is obviously too late.
It’s chaos, and it’s only going to get worse. Soon this part of the station will be overrun with police officers and paramedics.
I need to make sure I’m not here when it is.
As all hell breaks loose around me, I go against the tide of people and rush away from the scene, making my way back along the platform and past the dozens of passengers who are now all gawking at the deadly incident behind me. I keep my head down as I go, praying that nobody tries to stop me and hold me accountable for what just happened. With my disguise, I could get away with this, but only if I’m not caught at the station when the police arrive and check the CCTV. But I can’t go anywhere until I have found James.
I haven’t come this
